Feeling morose.. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

YoungAndClean · 10-11-2012, 09:29 AM

This April will have been 2 years since I lost my girlfriend (love of my life). Now that I'm 21 days sober I have been actually grieving her, and how she cut me out of her life and wants nothing to do with me. It's my fault, towards the end of our relationship I was high on benzos and said some horrible things and all we did is fight. But I miss her so frecking much, I can't help but feel I've lost nearly everything I've ever loved due to this disease. She was my best friend, lover, and I thought we would be friends for the rest of our lives. Now she is off in another state going to college and I'm living at my Moms saving money and trying to get sober so that I can have a life again and get back on my feet. This disease is ruthless, and all those mean things I said to her wasn't me saying that, it was the drugs. I'm s lonely, sad, and can't help but feel being a recovering alcoholic/drug addict is going to make it that much harder for me to ever find someone again. We were together for 4 years and it was the happiest time of my life. Now thats over, and the drinking/druggings over, it truly feels like the partys over folks.

***Anna*** · 10-11-2012, 09:42 AM

Hi,

Losing a love is always hard and knowing that your girlfriend has moved on is very sad for you. Yes, this disease is ruthless, but you are working on sobriety now and you can move forward with your life. You don't need to allow the addiction to take anything more from you.

MIRecovery · 10-11-2012, 09:53 AM

You are young and sober. While you have experienced loss and I do not want to minimize it. I lost 30 years of my life and with it far too many things I will never get back.

Rejoyce, you caught this evil monster while you still have the majority of your life ahead of you! I know there are many wonderful things and people you have yet to discover.

Natom · 10-11-2012, 10:00 AM

Hi YoungandClean,

I lost a partner because of my using. We were together 18 months, we were engaged and I can truly say that she loved me to pieces. She was such a beautiful lovely girl and I just trampled on her. It all ended when I went to rehab and she got sectioned to a mental institution. She had pre-existing mental health issues anyway but I obviously didn't help. One day I will make my amends to her.

Fernaceman · 10-11-2012, 10:06 AM

I can definitely feel for you. I am on the tail end of a relapse and the love of my life is drifting further away and there is nothing I can do about it at the moment.

The only thing we CAN do is focus on recovery and take care of ourselves. Yes, it is sad. Yes, it is frustrating and hard to accept. But it's the reality this disease has placed us in. It truly is a hard thing to accept but it can drive you crazy if you let it dominate your thinking.

You are in a good place. You are sober and right where you are supposed to be. Everything else will work itself out if we remain sober.

Keep the faith!

MIRecovery · 10-11-2012, 10:13 AM

The good news is. Although I have lost things permanently a lot of the things I thought I had lost have come back to me. Time heals and God works in ways we could never imagine

10-11-2012, 09:29 AM	#1 (permalink)
YoungAndClean Saved By Grace Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Oop North, Furtlin' me Ferrets Posts: 220	Feeling morose.. This April will have been 2 years since I lost my girlfriend (love of my life). Now that I'm 21 days sober I have been actually grieving her, and how she cut me out of her life and wants nothing to do with me. It's my fault, towards the end of our relationship I was high on benzos and said some horrible things and all we did is fight. But I miss her so frecking much, I can't help but feel I've lost nearly everything I've ever loved due to this disease. She was my best friend, lover, and I thought we would be friends for the rest of our lives. Now she is off in another state going to college and I'm living at my Moms saving money and trying to get sober so that I can have a life again and get back on my feet. This disease is ruthless, and all those mean things I said to her wasn't me saying that, it was the drugs. I'm s lonely, sad, and can't help but feel being a recovering alcoholic/drug addict is going to make it that much harder for me to ever find someone again. We were together for 4 years and it was the happiest time of my life. Now thats over, and the drinking/druggings over, it truly feels like the partys over folks.

10-11-2012, 09:42 AM	#2 (permalink)
*Anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 28,160	Hi, Losing a love is always hard and knowing that your girlfriend has moved on is very sad for you. Yes, this disease is ruthless, but you are working on sobriety now and you can move forward with your life. You don't need to allow the addiction to take anything more from you. __________________ Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Marianne Willianson

10-11-2012, 09:53 AM	#3 (permalink)
MIRecovery A Day at a Time Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Grand Rapids MI Posts: 1,671	You are young and sober. While you have experienced loss and I do not want to minimize it. I lost 30 years of my life and with it far too many things I will never get back. Rejoyce, you caught this evil monster while you still have the majority of your life ahead of you! I know there are many wonderful things and people you have yet to discover. __________________ I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself

10-11-2012, 10:00 AM	#4 (permalink)
Natom Not Alone Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: South East UK Posts: 1,267 Blog Entries: 2	Hi YoungandClean, I lost a partner because of my using. We were together 18 months, we were engaged and I can truly say that she loved me to pieces. She was such a beautiful lovely girl and I just trampled on her. It all ended when I went to rehab and she got sectioned to a mental institution. She had pre-existing mental health issues anyway but I obviously didn't help. One day I will make my amends to her. __________________ Tiny little boxes in a row. Ain't what you want it's what you know. Just happy in the shoes you're wearin.

10-11-2012, 10:13 AM	#6 (permalink)
MIRecovery A Day at a Time Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Grand Rapids MI Posts: 1,671	The good news is. Although I have lost things permanently a lot of the things I thought I had lost have come back to me. Time heals and God works in ways we could never imagine __________________ I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself

10-11-2012, 10:06 AM	#5 (permalink)
Fernaceman Trudger of Happy Destiny Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Naperville, IL Posts: 1,840	I can definitely feel for you. I am on the tail end of a relapse and the love of my life is drifting further away and there is nothing I can do about it at the moment. The only thing we CAN do is focus on recovery and take care of ourselves. Yes, it is sad. Yes, it is frustrating and hard to accept. But it's the reality this disease has placed us in. It truly is a hard thing to accept but it can drive you crazy if you let it dominate your thinking. You are in a good place. You are sober and right where you are supposed to be. Everything else will work itself out if we remain sober. Keep the faith!

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