IT'S not as easy as some think

[Krb]

I am a 32/m. I have a great wife and 2 boys one is 11 the other is 4. My family and I were in a fatal car accident last summer we all att hurting as a result. I hurmy back and live with 3 herniated discs. I am in chronic pain every day. I started taking oxy
10mg. Maybe SUPPOSED to take 1 every 8 or so Hrs and I did these pills worked and how they were supposed to but only for a short period of time. Next thing i know they weren't helping as much and IM taking 10-15 a day looking for TOTAL relief. Today after ALL the pain it has caused my family. My wife had me thrown in jail and kicked me out of the house 3 times and even threatened ill never see my babies and saw a divorce lawyer and still i couldn't stop the drug. My PM doc has been trying to give me a fentynal patch (which i have tried finally and it was great. But because i didn't have any dam Devil oxy in my system she wouldn't give it to me but instead gave me 90 more OXYs i was so upset. I gave them to my wife to show her i don't need them( for real this time) i am not going to loose my family over this. But it maybe to late she doesn't believe a word i say but i don't blame her. I neglected the woman i love with all my heart. I've delt with and over came addictions in the past. But the OXY got me by my balls and i was in denial. I was looking for total pain relief i understand what I've done to my family and know no PILL will ever fix me.I've also just had seen a brain doctor BC she believes i hit my head to hard in the wreck and they said i STILL have a concussion and ADHD ALL THIS on top of my pills. I am excited to find this out we also fight, about my memory. I WANT MY FAMILY AND AM SERIOUS this time but she doesn't know if she wants me anymore and i can't blame her. I need a successful story pleasemy wife can't believe and says i don't love her or my kids and i do with all my heart. I cannot stand it when people say this in a way maybe it's true but the compounds get into you're BRAIN. And a transformation occurs it takes you over I WANT TO STOPGOD KNOWS I DO.i have been speaking to him A LOT asking for help. Thanks for reading this long but could have been longer post. Its not easy

[Dee74]

Hi and welcome Krb!
This place is full of success stories

I have no experience with oxys but I have 20 years experience with addiction.

Addiction may change our brains - but it doesn't take our power to do the right thing or to live our lives the way we should...sometimes it takes a lot of effort and support, but it's far from impossible

There's thousands of people here who are proof of that

You're not alone here - you'll find a lot of support - I also recommend you check out our substance abuse forum as well

Substance Abuse - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

good to have you here

D

[Anna]

Welcome!

You're right, it's not easy, but know that you can do this and turn your life around.

[least]

I have no experience with pills either but wanted to welcome you to the site!

[2granddaughters]

Krb, have you contacted NA in your area? They would certainly be a great help... they have been where you are.

Narcotics Anonymous Meetings in Georgia

All the best.

Bob R

[laurie6781]

I have sent you a PM. Hope the info helps!!!!!

Please do not go the fentanyl route that is more addictive than the
oxys. There are other ways to get relief from your pain that are NOT
addictive.

Love and hugs,

[Hevyn]

Hi krb - I'm an alcoholic, so not of much help where oxys are concerned. I do know it's almost impossible for our families to understand why we can't just say no to something that's harming us (and them). That's why SR is so valuable. We support each other in a way no one else really can. I hope you'll find hope and encouragement here.

[Krb]

Wow thank you all so much...I am scheduled to get a SPINAL CORD STIMULATION IMPLANT on the 19th anyone had an experience. I have had all my epidural shots ...nothing works so IM not holding my breath for this to.

[Itchy]

No experience with that. I have to go and have a cervical vertebrae removed and fused frim the front and am working up the nerve to have it done. We did the MRIs last month. The neurosurgeon also found two torn discs on my lower lumbar spine. I know about pain but refuse anything more than NSAIDs. My tolerance is pretty high and was a major reason for my self medicating with alcohol. I too have no experience with oxy other than refusing them and flushing the one scrip my wife filled for me before we knew what it was. I did try one lortab once and hated it, and having heard all the horror stories I will take a but of pain rather than get hooked on anything again. I don't know your options but hope upyou find hem and peace for yourself.

[Krb]

OK so today my wife is telling me to admit the pills were more important to me than my family ..or she's leaving for good. I do not agree I keep telling he nothing EVER is more important than them and try to explain, but I don't know how and I don't know if I can tell her they were. Am I lying to myself? Were the drugs more important, am I inn denial about that? Please help you all seem like great people and I love you for all your comments and support.

[Sapling]

Originally Posted by Krb

OK so today my wife is telling me to admit the pills were more important to me than my family ..or she's leaving for good. I do not agree I keep telling he nothing EVER is more important than them and try to explain, but I don't know how and I don't know if I can tell her they were. Am I lying to myself? Were the drugs more important, am I inn denial about that? Please help you all seem like great people and I love you for all your comments and support.

I chose alcohol over my wife of 17 years given the chance to make a choice. I like to look at it like my addiction was lying to me....And I was just passing on the information....Does that make sense?

[Krb]

Sapling, that's exactly how I feel. I cannot explain it ( you know exactly what I mean)
I love my family and boys really than anything and Cannot except that I have.

Maybe to an extent she's right though, I let myself become an addicted stan. It had me by the balls HARD. Maybe we have in that sense but once the took over we had no control. So maybe she's right. And it breaks my heart to much to accept it. Addiction CANNOT be explained to anyone who was not or is an addict themselves

[Sasha4]

To me this is not a straight forward issue about addiction.

You were legally prescribed these pills for a chronic pain condition.
You live with pain everyday and should not have to.
You are willing to have an invasive procedure done to stop the pain and pills. If that was me and I was using oxy, I think my first concern would be 'does that mean I have no reason for the oxy anymore?' and not 'will this procedure work?" which I am thinking is your response. And to me this is the correct response.

Yes your dose has escalated, but we develop tolerance to these drugs. So we need more drugs to get the same level of pain relief. This is documented in clinical practice.
You say you want total pain relief and that is the goal of pain management - to relieve pain as well as possible.

To me - you and your doctor need to work together to help you come off the tablets in a safe and effective manner.

There should be joint responsibilty between patient and doctor when opioids are prescribed and problems occur.

I think you also need to be honest with your doctor about what has happened, how your dose has increased and work together to find ways of getting your pain under control without using preparations that are addictive or leaving you living everyday in agony.

Has your wife told her concerns to your doctor? Has she come to one of your appointments with you and discussed the problems this is causing to your relationship and family? I am thinking this may help?

From this maybe you can learn that from here on, any medical drug you are offered is not addictive and there is no chance to abuse.
And if the doctor is thinking of prescribing you something that is addicitve you decline and take personal responsibilty.

You say in your first post that the accident was fatal - so someone died? It must have been a horrific experience.
Do you think that these feelings your wife has could be more than your addiction and that she has some long lasting emotional damage from the accident that she needs more help to come to terms with? Your kids were in the car too? I cannot imagine how hard this must have been. Maybe a lot of 'what if's?'.
I suppose I am trying to say that is there something more going on for your wife than just the tablets?

I really do wish you the best xxxx

[Krb]

She does and it will be hard for me BC she has been taking oxy also but she continues to take only one or to a day. I have stolen her pills when i finished my script early.

An older man and his wife pulled out infront of us wee were going an easy. 55mp, no time to hit the breaks. My wife was driving me as the passenge the baby was behind me and our oldest behind my wife.

It was the last weekend before school started and my son was so excited to go back BC he was getting the teacher he wanted. We were taking the kids to a water park.
anyway. Yes the driver of the other car died on impact



We were taken t o the hospital and stayed with the boys. The baby was fine thank God just really swollen. My other not so lucky he was admitted overnight and had a fractured vertebrae along wit askull fracture. My wife and i later admitted ourselves she has enternal injuries from the seat belt and steering

[Krb]

Steering wheel. I have 3 herniated disks. It was horrible my boy was not able to return to school because of this and my wife had to start homeschooling him

[Sapling]

Originally Posted by Krb

It had me by the balls HARD. Maybe we have in that sense but once the took over we had no control.

That's when I knew I needed help....Left to my own devices...I was toast.

[Sasha4]

I am really sorry Krb
It sounds like you have a lot to deal with and lot on your plate.

Do you think your wife maybe exhausted from home schooling, looking after your baby and her chronic daily pain and could use a break?

Are you recieveing anymore emotional support from professionals? Not just someone prscribing you pills? Both of you?

Has the crash and the death triggered anything different in your wife? Behaviours, anxiety maybe, other worries?

xx

[Hevyn]

I didn't make a conscious choice to pick drinking over my family/friends. When we're under the influence, we aren't capable of making these decisions. I was sort of on automatic pilot. Kept mindlessly swigging it down like I couldn't survive without it.

I never at any time thought, "Oh, to hell with everyone - I'm going to party and do what I want." It never occurred to me that I was hurting anyone. Of course that sounds so lame, and looking back - it should have been so obvious what my behavior was causing. I was in my own little bubble and didn't think to look outside it. How do we explain it to them? I just don't know.

[Krb]

Hevlyn, that's exactly how i feel but anyone who isn't an addict doesn't and will never understand what we mean and how we feel when we realize what pain our addiction caused

[Krb]

Sasha, yeah she is busy with us three boys she is in pain from the wreck and also fybromialga.. she sees a pain doc to but that's it. I recently started goingfuui to a phycrochrist