Refusing AA - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Klia · 09-11-2012, 10:38 AM

Do you believe that people who refuse AA are stubborn or just aren't ready to quit. I've gone to a couple AA meetings, not by choice, but when I was hospitalized for mental illness. I don't like it. For me, it's uncomfortable and awkward and to be honest, I don't really like strange people much. What does one do without AA? Are there other options?

Huey · 09-11-2012, 10:43 AM

Everybody on this planet is pretty much a 'free agent' to choose whatever path of recovery, or not they decide. There are many alternatives to AA. Check out AVRT or SMART Recovery.

freshstart57 · 09-11-2012, 10:46 AM

Oh heavens, yes. AA has worked very well for a lot of people, but there are many more than that who have quit and stay quit without it. I most definitely do not believe that refusing AA means you are not ready for sobriety.

Sober Recovery has a whole forum devoted to discussion of alternatives to AA and other 12 Step programs called Secular Connections. Just like at other SR forums, you will find a lot of support there.

Admiral · 09-11-2012, 11:02 AM

You have to take the steps to ensure that you will remain sober. Simply pledging not to drink or use is usually not enough. What if you planned a marvelous vacation for years and then at the last minute you were told not to go? Could you simply sit on the couch and stare at the tickets on the table and fight the urge to go? Probably not, it would be horrible. Instead you would need to find other things to fill the space where that vacation would be, get out of the house, go bowling, go see a movie, plan a party with good friends.

The point of such a thought exercise is to demonstrate that recovery requires a strategy as well, what that strategy will be is up to you, but it doesn't have to be AA if it doesn't feel right for you.

Sapling · 09-11-2012, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by freshstart57

AA has worked very well for a lot of people, but there are many more than that who have quit and stay quit without it.

I know very well that AA is not the only way for an alcoholic to get and stay sober...I was just wondering if you have any statistics on this?

2granddaughters · 09-11-2012, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klia

Do you believe that people who refuse AA are stubborn or just aren't ready to quit. I've gone to a couple AA meetings, not by choice, but when I was hospitalized for mental illness. I don't like it. For me, it's uncomfortable and awkward and to be honest, I don't really like strange people much. What does one do without AA? Are there other options?

I suggest you Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous". See if you identify.

Some will tell you that there are options other than AA but if you are an alcoholic described in the documents above then I think you will find AA to be your best bet. It was for me and millions of others.
I was a psych ward, suicide attempt alky and AA has helped me stay sober and sane for almost 24 yrs.

Certainly AA will be uncomfortable/unnatural as it is beginning to treat the very essence of our disease. Our alcoholism will fight it tooth and nail.

Let us know how you make out......

All the best.

Bob R

Hexipuff · 09-11-2012, 11:53 AM

Great post 2 granddaughters

AA can be uncomfortable at first for the reasons posted above, also it must be hard to accept something if you did not want to go to there in the first place.

I chose to go to AA and took to it well like a duck to water. I am sure there is some sort of statistical evidence on the success of recovery but to me that doesn't matter really.
AA is about fellowship, support and learning to live your life - sober. To me it is my road map.

I hope you find your path Klia whichever route you choose.

Deserto · 09-11-2012, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sapling

I was just wondering if you have any statistics on this?

"An estimated 70 percent of people who decide to quit drinking do so without any outside help, professional counseling, or support group meetings."

George W. Bush Quit Drinking 'On His Own'

Not the most authoritative link, but I've seen that number elsewhere.

Of course, that doesn't mean 70% of alcoholics quit without help. I think that 70% is largely made up of non-alcoholics who decide to quit as they get older, start families, etc... ie, people who probably didn't have much of a problem or inclination to begin with. But I'm just speculating there.

Sapling · 09-11-2012, 12:04 PM

Old GW does say this...

"Well, I don't think I had an addiction," Bush told the Washington Post for a July 1999 profile. "You know it's hard for me to say. I've had friends who were, you know, very addicted. . .and they required hitting bottom [to start] going to AA. I don't think that was my case."

hypochondriac · 09-11-2012, 12:09 PM

Absolutely not Klia. To be honest I don't think any recovery method 'gets' you sober, you do and recovery methods just help. And different things are going to help different people.

I'll be honest here though and say that I was one of those who 'refused' AA because I wasn't ready to quit. I think I was still trying to control my drinking and I had a whole massive problem with the word powerless. And I was stubborn. Still am. But I actually didn't really know anything about AA back then. But sticking me in the rooms wasn't going to help me or get me sober, whereas stuff like CBT and I'd imagine SMART stuff would have really helped me back then.

I think as long as you are willing to put the effort in and occasionally move out of your comfort zone then you will be fine. I think all recovery methods require effort and vigilance but ultimately only you will know what is going to work for you. Just don't be too stubborn to challenge your own thought patterns

x

Freedom55 · 09-11-2012, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sapling

I know very well that AA is not the only way for an alcoholic to get and stay sober...I was just wondering if you have any statistics on this?

Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing some scientific statistics to support this. Along with quoting the source of said statistics. A bit cynical of 'statistics' which support any particular method when said source has a vested interest in promoting their own method. So if someone has stats from a disinterested party which can be backed up with fact, I would be extremely interested.

Respecfully,
lh

Sapling · 09-11-2012, 12:14 PM

I think the smartest thing you can do...Research them all...AVRT...SMART...SOS..Lifering etc....Find one that you like. Put the effort into it....If it doesn't work...Move on to the next one....If nothing works...AA will be there....It was the last house on the block for me.

Sapling · 09-11-2012, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lfh4555

Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing some scientific statistics to support this. Along with quoting the source of said statistics. A bit cynical of 'statistics' which support any particular method when said source has a vested interest in promoting their own method. So if someone has stats from a disinterested party which can be backed up with fact, I would be extremely interested.

Respecfully,
lh

I believe when we are dealing with a life and death illness....We should be careful with misinformation.

ReadyAndAble · 09-11-2012, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lfh4555

So if someone has stats from a disinterested party which can be backed up with fact, I would be extremely interested.

Here's a fact. Every human being who recovered from addiction prior to 1935 did it without the help of AA.

But we digress...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klia

Are there other options?

I quit drinking just using SR, then used AVRT to terminate the cycle of addiction once and for all.

If you're interested, come on over to the secular threads. We've got some SMART folks there, too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klia

I don't really like strange people much.

Well, I'm not sure I can help you there, lol... The world is full of AA meetings—if that's all that bothered you, why not try another meeting?

Sapling · 09-11-2012, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble

Here's a fact. Every human being who recovered from addiction prior to 1935 did it without the help of AA.

You're probably right...I think most of them ended up in asylums...But who knows?

ReadyAndAble · 09-11-2012, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sapling

I believe when we are dealing with a life and death illness....We should be careful with misinformation.

This is good advice. As you noted, you don't really know about that asylum stuff.

ReadyAndAble · 09-11-2012, 12:42 PM

As for what path has saved more people—who cares?

Like arguing about who's nicer, Mother Theresa or Gandhi.

Prettynoose · 09-11-2012, 12:43 PM

For me I know I need AA, but I have been too proud up until now to go. I have always looked down on it (for various reasons) and now I need it and it hurts my pride.

ReadyAndAble · 09-11-2012, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Prettynoose

now I need it and it hurts my pride.

I think it's awesome that you're doing whatever it takes. Pride be damned. You'll be plenty proud to recover from this, and singing the praises of AA. As well you should.

hypochondriac · 09-11-2012, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble

As for what path has saved more people—who cares?

Like arguing about who's nicer, Mother Theresa or Gandhi.

x

09-11-2012, 10:38 AM	#1 (permalink)
Klia Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Kentucky Posts: 61	Refusing AA Do you believe that people who refuse AA are stubborn or just aren't ready to quit. I've gone to a couple AA meetings, not by choice, but when I was hospitalized for mental illness. I don't like it. For me, it's uncomfortable and awkward and to be honest, I don't really like strange people much. What does one do without AA? Are there other options?

09-11-2012, 10:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
freshstart57 Self recovered Self discovered Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Toronto Canada Posts: 2,725	Oh heavens, yes. AA has worked very well for a lot of people, but there are many more than that who have quit and stay quit without it. I most definitely do not believe that refusing AA means you are not ready for sobriety. Sober Recovery has a whole forum devoted to discussion of alternatives to AA and other 12 Step programs called Secular Connections. Just like at other SR forums, you will find a lot of support there. __________________ AVRT has shown me how to never drink again and to never change my mind.

09-11-2012, 11:53 AM	#7 (permalink)
Hexipuff Hexipuff Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Kent UK Posts: 369	Great post 2 granddaughters AA can be uncomfortable at first for the reasons posted above, also it must be hard to accept something if you did not want to go to there in the first place. I chose to go to AA and took to it well like a duck to water. I am sure there is some sort of statistical evidence on the success of recovery but to me that doesn't matter really. AA is about fellowship, support and learning to live your life - sober. To me it is my road map. I hope you find your path Klia whichever route you choose. __________________ I am what I think. Copyright: Women for Sobriety, Inc When my dog winks at me, I always wink back in case it's some sort of code

09-11-2012, 12:09 PM	#10 (permalink)
hypochondriac Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: UK Posts: 4,443	Absolutely not Klia. To be honest I don't think any recovery method 'gets' you sober, you do and recovery methods just help. And different things are going to help different people. I'll be honest here though and say that I was one of those who 'refused' AA because I wasn't ready to quit. I think I was still trying to control my drinking and I had a whole massive problem with the word powerless. And I was stubborn. Still am. But I actually didn't really know anything about AA back then. But sticking me in the rooms wasn't going to help me or get me sober, whereas stuff like CBT and I'd imagine SMART stuff would have really helped me back then. I think as long as you are willing to put the effort in and occasionally move out of your comfort zone then you will be fine. I think all recovery methods require effort and vigilance but ultimately only you will know what is going to work for you. Just don't be too stubborn to challenge your own thought patterns x __________________ “The future you have tomorrow, won't be the same future you had yesterday.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Rant

09-11-2012, 10:43 AM	#2 (permalink)
Huey Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Reading. Berks. England Posts: 134	Everybody on this planet is pretty much a 'free agent' to choose whatever path of recovery, or not they decide. There are many alternatives to AA. Check out AVRT or SMART Recovery.

09-11-2012, 11:02 AM	#4 (permalink)
Admiral Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 196	You have to take the steps to ensure that you will remain sober. Simply pledging not to drink or use is usually not enough. What if you planned a marvelous vacation for years and then at the last minute you were told not to go? Could you simply sit on the couch and stare at the tickets on the table and fight the urge to go? Probably not, it would be horrible. Instead you would need to find other things to fill the space where that vacation would be, get out of the house, go bowling, go see a movie, plan a party with good friends. The point of such a thought exercise is to demonstrate that recovery requires a strategy as well, what that strategy will be is up to you, but it doesn't have to be AA if it doesn't feel right for you.

09-11-2012, 12:04 PM	#9 (permalink)
Sapling AA Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Between Meetings Posts: 9,004	Old GW does say this... "Well, I don't think I had an addiction," Bush told the Washington Post for a July 1999 profile. "You know it's hard for me to say. I've had friends who were, you know, very addicted. . .and they required hitting bottom [to start] going to AA. I don't think that was my case."

09-11-2012, 12:14 PM	#12 (permalink)
Sapling AA Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Between Meetings Posts: 9,004	I think the smartest thing you can do...Research them all...AVRT...SMART...SOS..Lifering etc....Find one that you like. Put the effort into it....If it doesn't work...Move on to the next one....If nothing works...AA will be there....It was the last house on the block for me.

09-11-2012, 12:42 PM	#17 (permalink)
ReadyAndAble Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: San Diego Posts: 4,143	As for what path has saved more people—who cares? Like arguing about who's nicer, Mother Theresa or Gandhi.

09-11-2012, 12:43 PM	#18 (permalink)
Prettynoose Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 42	For me I know I need AA, but I have been too proud up until now to go. I have always looked down on it (for various reasons) and now I need it and it hurts my pride.

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