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| | #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Texas
Posts: 507
| Short fuse
Anyone have any tips for keeping your cool when someone is driving you crazy? My partner and I have been off of work all week and she's pretty much insisted we do everything together, right down to picking up an Rx down the street. I like to do things alone and I want to be able to take my time when I'm out an about. But whenever I try to go alone she guilt trips me by insisting I just want to sneak off to drink or if that's not it I must not want her around. So I don't go alone. Now it's Saturday, 8 days into our "vacation" and I'm going insane. Snapping at everything, hardly talking and fuming inside. We've already had two big blow ups where I accused her of being controlling and manipulative. Her response is that I'm a drunk that can't be trusted. I don't blame her for not trusting me, she's got every right not to trust. I know I'm not sneaking off to drink but I totally know why she thinks so. But it's hurting not helping. And I think deep down it can't be helping her to act this way either. But that's a bigger issue. We've got couples therapy in the works for that. In the meantime, any advice on how to grin and bare it through the weekend without hurting her with another blow up? I need to lengthen my very short fuse this morning so I can avoid saying something I regret an so I can try and enjoy my last two days off. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to silly For This Useful Post: | Sapling (09-08-2012) |
| | #2 (permalink) |
| in my 24th year of sobriety Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,527
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Tell her how you feel without blame or judging. Suggest compromising. As her how she's feeling. There is nothing more vicious than a "dry, trapped" alcoholic. I find that a meeting is the best thing for a short fuse. All the best. Bob R
__________________ . . .If you want to drink, that's your business ..... .If you want to quit, that's A.A.'s business. . . --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. . . L.D. 1989 |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to 2granddaughters For This Useful Post: | Sapling (09-08-2012) |
| | #3 (permalink) |
| ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD
Posts: 9,867
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Everyone needs a time-out from others, especially us newcomers to sobriety. Figure out together how to arrange some alone time. just a suggestion Love & hugs,
__________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. |
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