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|09-08-2012, 05:51 AM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2011
Day 11 Thoughts
I am beginning Day 11. I know it's not a big milestone, but sharing on SR and feeling the support keeps me committed.
I can't say it's been easy, but somehow easiER than the dozens of times I have tried to quit drinking, especially in this past year. I have those few hours in the evening that are my toughest. About 4-7. Even when I get past the actual craving and I am resolved not to drink, I feel bored and basically P*ssed off that i can't drink. I'm looking forward to NOT feeling that way, because I dont' like it. I don't want to feel like I'm constantly "missing out" on something by not drinking. I mean, logically, I know I'm only "missing out" on being a lazy, loopy mess at night and hating myself in the morinng if I were to drink. But, when will my emotions of "wanting it" catch up with my common sense that knows how it will all end up?
Also, my ex has been in touch..since yesterday. We have had an on/off intense relationship for 8 years, and we have been out of touch for 3 months after another short lived reunion, followed by a painful breakup. Somehow I allow him to have a extremely volatile effect on me. It's a long story and hard to explain. Suffice to say that staying sober while going through my emotions about him adds to the challenge. He is a non-drinker and my drinking has always been an issue with him. So, I get into this confusing mess of thoughts..wanting to stay sober "for him", and then wanting to drink "because of him". Of course, I know the only one I need to be sober for is me (and my kids) but these are just more tricks my mind plays on me.
I am pretty busy this weekend so I feel confident that I will not be drinking. But I know that an intense craving is just right around the corner, with a strong rationalization as to why I deserve it and why it would be ok. It can strike at any moment, especially with him back in my life again, even in this small way.
I think I will be sticking close by SR this weekend just in case.
|09-08-2012, 05:55 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Romance and finance....I was told early on they were killers for early sobriety....Good luck this weekend....Stay close!
|09-08-2012, 06:06 AM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Warwickshire, UK
Hi and congrats on 11 days,
If your worried about the cravings have you tried the urge surfing details Dee posted:
The Alcoholism and Addictions Help Forums- by SoberRecovery.com (urge surfing)
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle - Plato
Unformed people delight in the gaudy and in novelty. Cooked people delight in the ordinary - Zen saying
Sober date: 25th August 2012
|The Following User Says Thank You to Veggiejojo For This Useful Post:|| |
|09-08-2012, 09:08 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2012
first, 11 days is great. Don't minimize your day count.
I was always told to "think through the drink". So, if the urge comes upon you, think of where it will lead. It won't stop at one drink, so it is really worth it? Because the urge will pass. But the potential consequences of picking up a drink may not.
Have you tried AA meetings? They can you develop a support group. And just keep posting on here. You'll get support from others that have been exactly where you are.
I thought I was missing out in early sobriety. Now, when I'm around people drinking, I don't even think about. When I see someone get drunk and act stupid, I think "thank goodness that's not me anymore".
|09-08-2012, 09:53 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2010
I agree with pipparina: each day is important, especially in the beginning.....so feel good about those 11 days!
My emotions were all over the place when I got sober. It took me a couple weeks to start to feel that I might actually be able to get through it and stay sober. It took longer than that - maybe a couple months - to start to feel grateful about it (and realize how sick I was).
It won't be this hard forever, so hang in there.....
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