New here

[poppyuk45]

Hi, I came across this site while looking for help with alcohol, I'm not sure if I'm an alcoholic but I like to have a drink and when I do it's not a couple of glasses of wine it's bottles.

[sugarbear1]

Welcome to SR!

If you go to silkworth.net you can listen or read the book Alcoholics Anonymous and see if you can relate to anything in it.

Glad you are here!

[Dee74]

Hi poppy

does your drinking cause you problems?
healthwise, emotionally, relationships, career?

do you want to stop drinking?

I find those kinds of questions are often easier to answer and more useful initially than 'am I an alcoholic?'

Welcome to SR - you'll find a lot of support here

D

[poppyuk45]

Hi, my drinking causes problems within my family, my husband gets angry when I drink in the week, I often say "right I'm not drinking in the week, just at weekends" but I go about 3 days then find myself giving in and having wine. I suffer with depression so alcohol certainly doesn't help that, sometimes I'm happy when drinking, other times I sit and cry, especially if I'm drinking alone. I want to be able to socialise with my family and friends (they drink but not excessivley) and just be able to have the odd glass of wine, without feeling that I want the whole bottle and more.

[mecanix]

Hi Poppy,
Welcome , i used to drink wine till i passed out, blacked out or it ran out . I could stop for a week whilst on stand-by for work . But as soon as i had my first sip my control would go out the window, my drinking only got worse with time, larger amounts and longer durations of being out of it .

A lot of people try to find out if they have a problem by trying to stop for 30 or 90 days and the re-assesing how they feel .

I did'nt do that as i knew i was an alcoholic for a long time but just didn't want to do anything about it . It's been really worthwhile quitting though , i hope you give it a try .

Bestwishes, M

[LaVallette]

According to Alcoholics Anonymous, there are really only two questions you need to ask yourself. The only person who is truly able to determine this is you.

What we can say, concerning this very personal decision, is that we were all faced with one, if not both, of the following two conditions:

“If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely,
or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic.”

[least]

If you have problems with drinking too much it's doubtful that you can go back to having a glass of wine "once in a while". I agree with Dee, it's not the label you call yourself, it's whether or not drinking is causing problems in your life.

Welcome to the site!

[poppyuk45]

I guess there is only me that can decide what to do, or if I have a problem. Part of me 'knows' that I have a problem with drink, then another part of me thinks "I don't have a problem, I'll just cut down" but it never happens.

[Sapling]

Originally Posted by poppyuk45

Part of me 'knows' that I have a problem with drink, then another part of me thinks "I don't have a problem, I'll just cut down" but it never happens.

Stick with the part that "knows"...The part that "thinks" is the one that got me into all the trouble I was in.

[hypochondriac]

Welcome to SR Poppy

I agree with Sapling... I always 'knew' I had a problem with drink but I think I just went until I had a good enough reason to quit.

Ignoring the alcoholic question might help for now... even people with really severe negative consequences struggle to accept that one. For me it took years of trying and failing to quit to convince me of what I already knew anyway.

I'm sure you'll find lots of help here x

[poppyuk45]

thanks everyone for your replies.
second day without a drink

[purpleknight]

Hi Poppy, welcome to the site, I joined today also . . . it's great there's somewhere to come, spend time and get some support!

[MrsKing]

Wow. I could have written everything in your posts six months ago.

Wine was my drink of choice, too. I'd promise myself I'd have a few glasses and drink a few bottles. Every time I drank I'd have the best intentions - I wouldn't go wild, I'd drink the same as everyone else, etc, but by the time that first glass was in my system all of that disappeared, the only thing on my mind was more. And more and more and more.

I didn't want to be sober that much at the beginning, but I didn't give myself much choice. I didn't want to be a drunk any longer and I despised the person I had become. I was really depressed and anxious, too.

What I'm trying to say is, if I can do it, you can do it.

Being sober is fantastic. I can't even begin to describe to you how my life has changed just because I stopped putting alcohol inside me. And that's all it takes - a determination not to take that glass and a constant, unwavering belief that nothing can cause that to happen.

[poppyuk45]

MrsKING, thank you for your reply, how did you cope when you were around friends and family that were drinking when you were trying to stay sober?

[MrsKing]

Originally Posted by poppyuk45

MrsKING, thank you for your reply, how did you cope when you were around friends and family that were drinking when you were trying to stay sober?

I won't lie to you - at the beginning it wasn't easy. It was just something I had to get used to. I felt a bit out of place and restless for a couple of months, but the good news is that now (five months on) when I am with my friends and family who drink, I rarely think about the alcohol and NEVER contemplate drinking it. I think it's mostly about retraining our brains to not expect alcohol in those situations. I haven't been 'clubbing' since I've been sober but I have been to bars and pubs, and have been to others' houses where alcohol was everywhere and had people to my house who have had alcohol with my husband. It honestly is not an issue at all to me any more. I would say this happened at about 3 months but I am not entirely sure on that, maybe it was a bit later. You just have to get through the start of the evening (that's the only bit that's tough, really) when you're first sober and once you've got used to the environment, it's OK.

Hope this helps.

[poppyuk45]

Thanks. On my third day today without alcohol.

[MrsKing]

Good for you

[poppyuk45]

4th day today without alcohol, and I'm feeling pretty good

[SoberForMySon]

Poppy, good on you!!! That's a great start. You are in the right place for sure.

[MrsKing]

I'm glad you're feeling good keep going - it just gets better and better!