Boring pub

[Healthyfood]

Hi all

I still have no social life. Its day 218. Which is great, but I still have no friends.
I went to the pub on weekend to have a little chat with my "friends" (people that I know). First hour was ok, I had a nice conversation with some of them.
But then after 2nd beer they just turned into boring, silly, full of stupid jokes people and I had nothing else to do but leave.

How can I find friends and go out if people only do one thing and thats stupid drinking. I almost feel like bringing a book next time with me to read there while they drink.

[Anna]

Try volunteer work. It's a great way to meet sober people and do something for your community.

[Sapling]

Hang out with people that don't drink. I know where to find them....Going to a football party tomorrow night with a bunch of them. I got to pass on hanging out in a pub with my old drinking buddies.

[hypochondriac]

It doesn't sound like they were really your type of people HF. What kind of friends would you like to make? Maybe think about that and then where you might find them. Maybe joining an exercise group, or an art class...

[aasharon90]

Is there something you've always wanted to
do and never got up the courage to do it?

Find something you are passionate about,
research it and go for it. For me at 50yrs.old,
with 19yrs sobriety at that time, I remarried
the second time after a 25 yr. marriage ended,
then took a motorcycle class, got my endorsement,
got my first of many tattoos now and just enjoying
a simple, pleasant life in recovery with less stress
as possible. I cut the lawn, plant some flowers
and feed our beautiful funny hummingbirds and
various other pretty birds.

continue learning ways to enjoy your sobriety
and staying sober a day at a time, then learn a
new hobby. Maybe it's golf.

[Healthyfood]

Thank you all for support.

I still haven't found anyone who does not drink or use. I hope I will find sober people soon, but at the moment looks like alco is everywhere.

[Auvers]

Congrats on your sobriety! I know what you mean about friends to enjoy time with now that you do not drink. The problem for me was that I had narrowed my field of friendship to those who had similar patterns of drinking. Just recently since I have been sober, I have crossed paths with people I think I might like to get to know but had previously considered a bit dull (not heavy drinkers! Lol). Hoping to have the chance to strike a friendship here and there outside a pub or bar, maybe a health club or community class, with people not intent on heavy drinking and boring chatter.

[hypochondriac]

There's no harm in going to AA just to meet new sober friends HF... x

[oooriotgrrrl]

Originally Posted by hypochondriac

There's no harm in going to AA just to meet new sober friends HF... x

I couldn't agree more. If it weren't for the few sober friends I have, I'd give up on people! I've had the same experience going out lately, the first couple hours are great until my friends get buzzed and all conversation goes out the window. Like you, I call it a night early.

Try to find out when fellowship meetings are so after the AA meeting itself, you can stick around and meet some folks. I go to a meeting on Sundays specifically geared towards people my age and have met some rad new friends.

Also, reconnect with family if at all possible. I know from my experience that alcohol and drugs isolated me from a lot of people who loved me. I've missed out on years with some of the people I love the most.

Best of luck to you, you're doing awesome

[Dee74]

Some great advice here HF

I found new friends and non drinkers won't come and knock on your door...we need to put ourselves out there amongst as many different groups of people as we can.

congrats on 218 days

D

[Caledonia1]

hi HF Congratulations on your soberiety! I used to think like you but as someone suggested AA is a great way of making sober firends. Honest they're not all old and grey as people often think. All walks of life and I've made great fiends there, we often got out for coffee etc. now.
Good luck!

[RecoRenee]

Originally Posted by Healthyfood

Hi all

I still have no social life. Its day 218. Which is great, but I still have no friends.
I went to the pub on weekend to have a little chat with my "friends" (people that I know). First hour was ok, I had a nice conversation with some of them.
But then after 2nd beer they just turned into boring, silly, full of stupid jokes people and I had nothing else to do but leave.

How can I find friends and go out if people only do one thing and thats stupid drinking. I almost feel like bringing a book next time with me to read there while they drink.

I'm in the same boat. i'm turning to recreational activities. I went on meetup.com and joined a weekly poker night (they only drink soda), a weekly surfing group, a weekly music production group, a monthly pot luck, a snorkeling group, a weekly hiking group, a bi-monthly cooking group. The poker group is every Wednesday so I'm going to that tomorrow, then Surfing is Friday, Snorkeling is Saturday and hiking is Sunday. I'm new to sobriety but my strategy is to fill my social time with healthy social activities that way I can meet healthy friends. Try it!

Here's the link for UK United Kingdom Meetup Groups - Meetup
All you do is plug in all of your hobbies and find groups near you.