Why am I so angry

[Soberyear]

Im sober almost a year now, still going through an ugly divorce and custody. Has ripped the family apart. Ive tried to forgive, when I do I get hit back with more ugliness from him. I'll never have a life until I can let go of all this guilt and anger. Help

[Dee74]

Hi and welcome Soberyear
I moved your thread here for more response

I've never been through a divorce myself, but I think a divorce is hard to get over, for anyone - particularly if it's a bitter one.

Do you have any support in your life - friends, family, a recovery group or a counsellor or therapists?

I know you'll find a lot of support and experience here

D

[choublak]

Forgiving someone else is more about you being at peace with yourself than what the other person does.

[tomsteve]

Originally Posted by Soberyear

Im sober almost a year now, still going through an ugly divorce and custody. Has ripped the family apart. Ive tried to forgive, when I do I get hit back with more ugliness from him. I'll never have a life until I can let go of all this guilt and anger. Help

welp, lets start with what the guilt is about. can ya fill us in on that?

[soberbrooke]

I decided that it isn't worth the fight. I left my addicted boyfriend, father of our two boys, on Jun 1st. I have 8 months of sobriety. We were together for almost 15 years.
In counseling, he agreed to pay 1000 a month for child support and to move out of my home. He hasn't done either of these things. Am I going to get a lawyer and fight him over it? No. I could take him to court and get 25% of his paycheck, but I am not doing that either.
I have just been praying and giving my relationship with him to my Higher Power, and so far it has worked. I have been happy and content. I have missed my boys, but I know that they will do the right thing one day. It hasn't been easy though!! I have to post on here, I have to call my sponsor and I need my meetings!! I go on ups and downs, right now I am up; but tomorrow I may be down. At my lowest points are when I really have to step back and look at the problem and realize I can't solve it, so I put it in my God Box and just walk away. I have to. It is what has been keeping me sane through this whole ordeal.
Good luck, and I feel for you. I would continually give it all to God. He solves problems better than we can all the time.

[Soberyear]

Thank you Brooke, you're so brave and so many times I've thought about doing that. Especially with my older boys. I too have the good days bad days. I go to counseling and meetings too, not a lot of friends anymore since they all drink. I'm somewhat if a recluse. And no, I'm not at peace with myself so I guess until that happens there will be no forgiveness. My DUIs get thrown in my face constantly, my family defines me by them. Forget about all the years I was sober running the house. I am full of resentment.

[Sapling]

Welcome Soberyear...Have you worked the 12 steps with a sponsor?...That is the suggested program of recovery in AA....It may be a suggestion but it's the only one they have. Meetings are great....I love em...The steps are what keep me safe, sane and sober....Not to mention happy!

[Soberyear]

No I haven't and I need to. I've just been attending the meetings

[Sapling]

It's pretty amazing the changes that happen working the steps...Clearing the wreckage of your past....Getting right with your Higher Power...There are a lot of promises in that book....Working those steps fearlessly and thoroughly...Those promises will come true.