Some Mum I am - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

itsnever2late · 08-22-2012, 04:55 AM

Husband's just discovered I'm secretly drinking again and I feel so so ashamed.....I hate myself for doing this...I also have an eating disorder.

My kids don't really know about either of these......I love them so much that I would hate to hurt them

Where do I start??? Can't afford counselling
Can I do this on my own??

Sleeping I KNOW will be a problem cos I get myself too worked up AND my husband snores, is there another mother out there like me

why me? I don't want to have these weaknesses!

IndaMiricale · 08-22-2012, 05:00 AM

Quote:

Where do I start??? Can't afford counselling
Can I do this on my own??

There are no due's or fees for the free counseling at AA.

And other's will definately be by with info for your eating disorder...

Welcome to SR you just landed in a wonderful place for support..

aeo1313 · 08-22-2012, 05:05 AM

I would suggest seeing a doctor especially because the combo of drinking and eating disorder is very dangerous. I have suffered from both and I have 2 kids. I have been recovered from my eating disorder for 16 years- so it is VERY possible to get your life back!!!

AA is free and a great place for support- I found at least half the women in my women's mtg had eating disorders as well. There should also be places that can provide counceling on a sliding scale. Where I live Jewish Family Service and Catholic Charities do this and it doesn't matter what religion you are.

Welcome to this site and keep posting. You are not alone!!

Ann

Grace2 · 08-22-2012, 05:25 AM

Oh my word. When I started reading your post I thought I was reading about me! I am going through virtually the same thing at the moment. apart from i dont have an eating disorder. I rejoined SR on Monday after being caught out on Saturday night. I feel just like you, sad, ashamed and I can't believe this is happening to me. I didn't want or ask for this. Hate how much I'm hurting my man, my family and myself.

SR is a good place to start and gives loads of support. You've made a good start now by admitting your problem.

We can and will beat this.

Big hugs

Gxxx

flutter · 08-22-2012, 05:25 AM

A lot of counselors can adjust their fee for people that can't afford it. Does your health insurance cover any mental health services? You can do it on your own, but I would at minimum see a doctor first. Like said above, AA is free. I'm sorry I don't know anything about eating disorders, but maybe if you were to see a counselor they'd help you work on whatever is at the root of both your drinking and eating issues.

Side note: I'm a mom too. My husband snores like a grizzly bear too. We actually sleep in separate rooms, saves both of our sanity..

Grace2 · 08-22-2012, 05:31 AM

Oh and my other half snores like a road drill too!
Gxx

soberbrooke · 08-22-2012, 05:33 AM

I got counseling for free with AA. I loved it, and I still love it after 8 months!

onlythetruth · 08-22-2012, 05:38 AM

Hi itsnever2late:

Count me in as another member of the alcohol/eating disorder crew. I had both problems at the same time for about 10 years. Recovered from the ED but kept drinking for another 15 years.

I managed not to drink during my pregnancies but started again immediately after giving birth. I remember crying as I nursed my newborns...drunk. Trying to be a good mother by nursing them but knowing I shouldn't do that while drinking...oh, it was awful. The sad thing is that I didn't stop then but kept right on going for several more years.

So yes I know the guilt and shame of this. The feeling of being trapped.

And yet I also know there is hope, because I suffer from neither condition anymore. I stopped the ED in 1983, and the alcohol in 1998 (after getting caught by my husband, so I know how THAT feels too). I did the first without any sort of treatment as frankly there was no treatment in 1983. I did the second through therapy. I found the social support of AA helpful but not the program itself.

It should be noted that there are a number of addiction recovery approaches which are free. SMART Recovery, for example, is free and has an online forum for people recovering from EDs. It might be worthwhile to look at several options.

But I can't say enough about individual therapy for the ED/addiction combo. For me, I had to process some fairly heavy stuff, childhood trauma and so forth, which really required professional help.

In any case, I KNOW that it is possible to recover, because I have done it.

SoberForMySon · 08-22-2012, 06:31 AM

Hang in there Mum, you aren't alone.

candi7 · 08-22-2012, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by itsnever2late

Husband's just discovered I'm secretly drinking again and I feel so so ashamed.....I hate myself for doing this...I also have an eating disorder.

My kids don't really know about either of these......I love them so much that I would hate to hurt them

Where do I start??? Can't afford counselling
Can I do this on my own??

Sleeping I KNOW will be a problem cos I get myself too worked up AND my husband snores, is there another mother out there like me

why me? I don't want to have these weaknesses!

You are not alone at all, I've been there done that and only been sober 94 days-and things are looking up for me, not perfect but working out. I'm involved in the Alcoholic Anonymous program and it's been a life saver. I've found friends in the halls of AA and best of all I found a sponsor who loves me unconditionally.. Sleep is a problem in the beginning yes, I had to get my butt out of bed and I'd clean it till that crap past (that is until I realized I had a list of women who I could call 24/7-now I can call on one of these if I have a terrible day).. AA has saved my life and although my children 20 and 17 are almost grown-I'll still have a positive influence... getting me better will make things better. My sobriety has to come first... Good luck.

NoFireWater · 08-22-2012, 10:45 AM

I think AA or women's support groups would be a good place to go, after you talk to a doctor. It can be dangerous to withdraw from alcohol on your own.
Having a support network can help you in all kinds of ways. It's great you want to make a change for you and your family! Come here often, it will help!

lostmyway · 08-22-2012, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by itsnever2late

is there another mother out there like me

Yes...I was one of them. Just because you have these issues does not mean that you don't love your family. In my case, I could not control the drinking, and am slowly learning that I have to give it to something greater than myself...in fact, I had a revelation of sorts about this just last night after spending some pretty unhappy time just being dry. I can tell you that my day so far today has been much more peaceful that those in the past few weeks.

I am reading the Big Book now with an open mind. I know that there are lots of ways out there to get sober, and am starting to think that each of us just needs to find what works for us, and we will recover if we really want to. Really, I thought I was hopeless...if I am starting to see the light, I believe anyone can

SoberForMySon · 08-22-2012, 12:22 PM

My son is my world, and I'm have to quit for his sake. I do feel your pain.

Grace2 · 08-22-2012, 01:09 PM

Hey Sober, you have to quit for your sake too!

xxx

SoberForMySon · 08-22-2012, 01:13 PM

Grace, you're right there....

**Dee74** · 08-22-2012, 05:34 PM

welcome

Like your name says - it might take a little effort, but it's never too late to turn things around

good to have you here

D

SSIL75 · 08-22-2012, 05:59 PM

I am like you

. I do hope you come back. There is so much hope and help here.

08-22-2012, 04:55 AM	#1 (permalink)
itsnever2late Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Posts: 1	Some Mum I am Husband's just discovered I'm secretly drinking again and I feel so so ashamed.....I hate myself for doing this...I also have an eating disorder. My kids don't really know about either of these......I love them so much that I would hate to hurt them Where do I start??? Can't afford counselling Can I do this on my own?? Sleeping I KNOW will be a problem cos I get myself too worked up AND my husband snores, is there another mother out there like me why me? I don't want to have these weaknesses!

08-22-2012, 05:25 AM	#4 (permalink)
Grace2 Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Cheshire, N.W England Posts: 4,959	Oh my word. When I started reading your post I thought I was reading about me! I am going through virtually the same thing at the moment. apart from i dont have an eating disorder. I rejoined SR on Monday after being caught out on Saturday night. I feel just like you, sad, ashamed and I can't believe this is happening to me. I didn't want or ask for this. Hate how much I'm hurting my man, my family and myself. SR is a good place to start and gives loads of support. You've made a good start now by admitting your problem. We can and will beat this. Big hugs Gxxx __________________ I was a disgrace, but now I'm just Grace! Sober birthday: 19 August 2012 *** “The booze makes you a liar and the lies you tell yourself are the biggest.” ― J.D. Ruskin, When One Door Opens

08-22-2012, 05:25 AM	#5 (permalink)
flutter Living sober since 12/18/08 Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 2,854	A lot of counselors can adjust their fee for people that can't afford it. Does your health insurance cover any mental health services? You can do it on your own, but I would at minimum see a doctor first. Like said above, AA is free. I'm sorry I don't know anything about eating disorders, but maybe if you were to see a counselor they'd help you work on whatever is at the root of both your drinking and eating issues. Side note: I'm a mom too. My husband snores like a grizzly bear too. We actually sleep in separate rooms, saves both of our sanity.. __________________ They seemed to come suddenly upon happiness as if they had surprised a butterfly in the winter woods. ~Edith Wharton

08-22-2012, 05:31 AM	#6 (permalink)
Grace2 Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Cheshire, N.W England Posts: 4,959	Oh and my other half snores like a road drill too! Gxx __________________ I was a disgrace, but now I'm just Grace! Sober birthday: 19 August 2012 *** “The booze makes you a liar and the lies you tell yourself are the biggest.” ― J.D. Ruskin, When One Door Opens

08-22-2012, 05:33 AM	#7 (permalink)
soberbrooke Sobriety date 12/19/2011 Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: TX Posts: 407	I got counseling for free with AA. I loved it, and I still love it after 8 months! __________________ Actually, we have no problems - we have opportunities for which we should give thanks... An error we refuse to correct has many lives. It takes courage to face one's own shortcomings and wisdom to do something about them. Edgar Cayce Quote

08-22-2012, 05:05 AM	#3 (permalink)
aeo1313 sobriety date 5-2-12 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Midwest Posts: 903	I would suggest seeing a doctor especially because the combo of drinking and eating disorder is very dangerous. I have suffered from both and I have 2 kids. I have been recovered from my eating disorder for 16 years- so it is VERY possible to get your life back!!! AA is free and a great place for support- I found at least half the women in my women's mtg had eating disorders as well. There should also be places that can provide counceling on a sliding scale. Where I live Jewish Family Service and Catholic Charities do this and it doesn't matter what religion you are. Welcome to this site and keep posting. You are not alone!! Ann

08-22-2012, 05:38 AM	#8 (permalink)
onlythetruth Member of SMART Recovery Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 1,706	Hi itsnever2late: Count me in as another member of the alcohol/eating disorder crew. I had both problems at the same time for about 10 years. Recovered from the ED but kept drinking for another 15 years. I managed not to drink during my pregnancies but started again immediately after giving birth. I remember crying as I nursed my newborns...drunk. Trying to be a good mother by nursing them but knowing I shouldn't do that while drinking...oh, it was awful. The sad thing is that I didn't stop then but kept right on going for several more years. So yes I know the guilt and shame of this. The feeling of being trapped. And yet I also know there is hope, because I suffer from neither condition anymore. I stopped the ED in 1983, and the alcohol in 1998 (after getting caught by my husband, so I know how THAT feels too). I did the first without any sort of treatment as frankly there was no treatment in 1983. I did the second through therapy. I found the social support of AA helpful but not the program itself. It should be noted that there are a number of addiction recovery approaches which are free. SMART Recovery, for example, is free and has an online forum for people recovering from EDs. It might be worthwhile to look at several options. But I can't say enough about individual therapy for the ED/addiction combo. For me, I had to process some fairly heavy stuff, childhood trauma and so forth, which really required professional help. In any case, I KNOW that it is possible to recover, because I have done it. __________________ OTT "Do, or do not. There is no 'try.'" -- Jedi Master Yoda

08-22-2012, 06:31 AM	#9 (permalink)
SoberForMySon Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 893	Hang in there Mum, you aren't alone.

08-22-2012, 10:45 AM	#11 (permalink)
NoFireWater Clear Eyes Full Heart Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: New England Posts: 604	I think AA or women's support groups would be a good place to go, after you talk to a doctor. It can be dangerous to withdraw from alcohol on your own. Having a support network can help you in all kinds of ways. It's great you want to make a change for you and your family! Come here often, it will help!

08-22-2012, 12:22 PM	#13 (permalink)
SoberForMySon Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 893	My son is my world, and I'm have to quit for his sake. I do feel your pain.

08-22-2012, 01:09 PM	#14 (permalink)
Grace2 Member Join Date: May 2010 Location: Cheshire, N.W England Posts: 4,959	Hey Sober, you have to quit for your sake too! xxx __________________ I was a disgrace, but now I'm just Grace! Sober birthday: 19 August 2012 *** “The booze makes you a liar and the lies you tell yourself are the biggest.” ― J.D. Ruskin, When One Door Opens

08-22-2012, 01:13 PM	#15 (permalink)
SoberForMySon Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 893	Grace, you're right there....

08-22-2012, 05:34 PM	#16 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 65,548	welcome Like your name says - it might take a little effort, but it's never too late to turn things around good to have you here D __________________

08-22-2012, 05:59 PM	#17 (permalink)
SSIL75 New to Real Life Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: I come in Peaces Posts: 2,063	I am like you . I do hope you come back. There is so much hope and help here. __________________ Sober since 8.23.2010 Learning a new way to live.

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