First Post - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

BruceJ · 08-11-2012, 01:29 PM

I started recovery back in '93. I stayed sober until about '05 when I went down to New Orleans to work. For the 1st couple of years I attended AA faithfully, worked the steps, etc.
My problem seems to be severe anxiety....even when in AA I was very uncomfortable with meetings. I hated them but went anyway because I was afraid not to.
Sponsors/doctors seem to say that if you fear something...just keep doing it until it's comfortable....that never happened..

Now, I'm 56 and this is day 4. I went to a meeting the 1st day and, you guessed it, I was in a panic. I called a number from someone at the meeting and, of course, they give me the 90 meetings in 90 days recommendation.

I've got an appointment with a counselor in a week or so and will try to make it to another meeting, or two, but it honestly seems to increase, rather than decrease, my social anxieties.

I'm glad for this forum. It's much better, at least for me, than going back into the meeting rooms.

I've got some mild meds for the anxiety and they seem to be helping a little.

I suppose that in my years of AA that I got the message that you either do it our way or you are guaranteed to drink again.

Anyway, thank you folks for being here. Have a great day.

Zee · 08-11-2012, 01:38 PM

Welcome Bruce

I personally don't do AA, I use this site for my continuing journey of sobriety. You are in the best place. Its great! Loads of advice. There are loads of AA members here as well as well as a 12 step part of the forum. Keep reading and posting, good luck to you

SheWanders · 08-11-2012, 01:56 PM

Welcome Bruce! I am new here too. I totally relate to the anxiety. It's brutal. Glad you have some meds. I used to use Xanax but was abusing those too (shocker) and found the rebound anxiety to be unbearable. Using an herbal supplement now with SJW, HTP, kava kava and valerian. Not a doctor by any means but it seems to help me, especially with sleep.

Haven't been to a meeting yet because the very idea makes me break out in a sweat. Have you looked into other recovery programs? There are lots of forums about the choices on here I believe. Again, new to this site too.

Keep posting!!

2granddaughters · 08-11-2012, 02:19 PM

Hello Bruce:

They told me not to quit just before the miracle happened.
In you original post it seems that you got good suggestions, are you going back to the tables?

I wish you the best.

Bob R

freshstart57 · 08-11-2012, 02:52 PM

G'Day, Bruce, and welcome to SR.

Quote:

I suppose that in my years of AA that I got the message that you either do it our way or you are guaranteed to drink again.

This makes me sad and angry at the same time, Bruce. There are so many that believe that the only alternative is drunkenness, and the addiction is happy to hear that. 'I guess they were right after all, you will find me at the bar'. Senseless tragedies can be the result.

This is wrong, false and destructive. Even if you believed this back then, please look around, and see for yourself. You need to find a way to work with yourself rather than against, and your anxiety and panic over recommendations of more of the same are telling you something.

There are many alternatives to AA, Bruce. Let google find them for you, learn about alcoholism and modern literature and studies about addiction. You can start at SoberRecovery's own forum - Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information. Things have changed in 20 years, and you owe it to yourself to make an informed decision.

hypochondriac · 08-11-2012, 02:58 PM

Welcome to SR Bruce

AA is fab, but there are other recovery methods...AVRT, SMART... maybe you could even look at doing online meetings if your anxiety is really bad. How did you feel AA worked out for you before? Was it just the social anxiety which caused you not to like it?

I'm sure SR will be a huge help to you too

x

**Dee74** · 08-11-2012, 03:12 PM

Welcome aboard Bruce

You'll find a multitude of approaches and methods here on SR - hope you'll find something that resonates with you

D

BruceJ · 08-11-2012, 03:54 PM

Thanks guys. I read a little about the avrt and the RR program. That's almost spooky but then I probably have an AA-programed mindset. I realize that at just a few days sober I'm probably not thinking very straight.
I'm just going to make it to bedtime without a drink today and deal with tomorrow when it comes, I suppose.

**Dee74** · 08-11-2012, 04:06 PM

there are other secular programmes too like SMART and lifering...no doubt there are others too...

I encourage you to check out every option you can Bruce...it's in your best interest to find a good recovery 'fit'

D

***Hevyn*** · 08-11-2012, 04:23 PM

Hi Bruce. My problem was anxiety, too - but in the end drinking was making it so much worse. My answer was to just drink more - until I'd worked my way up to a 30-pack a day. In the end, nothing was fun, exciting, or interesting. I'm so glad you aren't settling for that old, sick way of life.

Congratulations on reclaiming your life, and on your Day 4. You know you can do this, Bruce - you've done it before. This can be the last time you have to go through this. We're all rooting for you.

awuh1 · 08-11-2012, 04:30 PM

AA meetings are AAmeetings. The AA program is the AA program. Most people find the meetings helpful. If you don't then get a sponsor and do the program in the way that suits you. Perhaps you can tolerate some VERY small meetings or start one for those of like mind. Best wishes

sissy07 · 08-11-2012, 06:06 PM

Welcome to SR, Bruce!

Zebra1275 · 08-12-2012, 05:08 AM

Welcome to SR!

micealc · 08-12-2012, 05:32 AM

Welcome to SR Bruce....I found ACA...after 30 years of AA.
AA helped me to Stay Away from Alcohol/Tranx...the Obsession also left.
We are all different....I did the AA Steps...but this was not enough.
There are Some of us that Need More than just AA.
I Suffer From PTSD....this is as a Result of Constant
Tention in the Home of My Earthly Parents.
My Inner Child....that always felt different is what was the Problem.
I could never Mix with others...Make Real Friends.
Check ot the Laundry List of ACA....it may just Click.

Sapling · 08-12-2012, 06:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BruceJ

For the 1st couple of years I attended AA faithfully, worked the steps, etc.

Welcome Bruce....I'm curious if you ever completed the steps with a sponsor?...I also had anxiety problems and working the steps offered me the relief I needed for that. I'm not saying medication isn't necessary for some people....I'm just curious if you worked the steps fearlessly and thoroughly with a qualified sponsor.

***least*** · 08-12-2012, 06:05 AM

Welcome to the family! I got, and stayed, sober with the help of my addiction counselor and this site and have been happily sober over two years.

There are many ways to recover your life. Find what suits you and work it like your life depends on it.

sugarbear1 · 08-12-2012, 06:36 AM

Welcome to SR!

Mizzuno · 08-12-2012, 06:44 AM

Welcome back!

Auvers · 08-12-2012, 12:02 PM

Bruce, if you are basically an introverted sort who finds over stimulation in groups and feels far more comfort alone or with a small number of people, then any group oriented recovery process might not be your best choice. As others have said, there are other ways to do it.

**artsoul** · 08-12-2012, 01:32 PM

Welcome BruceJ!

I'm really glad you're here - this place was my constant companion for those first days of sobriety. I kept things really, really simple - it was enough to focus on getting through the next day (hour or minute) without drinking.

I think we find out what tools are best for us along the way..... I've used almost all of them at different times and they've all been helpful.

Look forward to seeing you around the forum!

08-11-2012, 01:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
BruceJ Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Clinton, MT Posts: 249	First Post I started recovery back in '93. I stayed sober until about '05 when I went down to New Orleans to work. For the 1st couple of years I attended AA faithfully, worked the steps, etc. My problem seems to be severe anxiety....even when in AA I was very uncomfortable with meetings. I hated them but went anyway because I was afraid not to. Sponsors/doctors seem to say that if you fear something...just keep doing it until it's comfortable....that never happened.. Now, I'm 56 and this is day 4. I went to a meeting the 1st day and, you guessed it, I was in a panic. I called a number from someone at the meeting and, of course, they give me the 90 meetings in 90 days recommendation. I've got an appointment with a counselor in a week or so and will try to make it to another meeting, or two, but it honestly seems to increase, rather than decrease, my social anxieties. I'm glad for this forum. It's much better, at least for me, than going back into the meeting rooms. I've got some mild meds for the anxiety and they seem to be helping a little. I suppose that in my years of AA that I got the message that you either do it our way or you are guaranteed to drink again. Anyway, thank you folks for being here. Have a great day.

08-11-2012, 02:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
2granddaughters in my 24th year of sobriety Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get Posts: 4,393	Hello Bruce: They told me not to quit just before the miracle happened. In you original post it seems that you got good suggestions, are you going back to the tables? I wish you the best. Bob R __________________ . . .If you want to drink, that's your business ..... .If you want to quit, that's A.A.'s business. . . --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. . . L.D. 1989

08-11-2012, 02:58 PM	#6 (permalink)
hypochondriac Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: UK Posts: 4,274	Welcome to SR Bruce AA is fab, but there are other recovery methods...AVRT, SMART... maybe you could even look at doing online meetings if your anxiety is really bad. How did you feel AA worked out for you before? Was it just the social anxiety which caused you not to like it? I'm sure SR will be a huge help to you too x __________________ “The future you have tomorrow, won't be the same future you had yesterday.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Rant

08-11-2012, 03:12 PM	#7 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 65,522	Welcome aboard Bruce You'll find a multitude of approaches and methods here on SR - hope you'll find something that resonates with you D __________________

08-11-2012, 04:06 PM	#9 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 65,522	there are other secular programmes too like SMART and lifering...no doubt there are others too... I encourage you to check out every option you can Bruce...it's in your best interest to find a good recovery 'fit' D __________________

08-11-2012, 01:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
Zee Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Sussex, England Posts: 847	Welcome Bruce I personally don't do AA, I use this site for my continuing journey of sobriety. You are in the best place. Its great! Loads of advice. There are loads of AA members here as well as well as a 12 step part of the forum. Keep reading and posting, good luck to you

08-11-2012, 01:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
SheWanders Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: nowhere and everywhere Posts: 63	Welcome Bruce! I am new here too. I totally relate to the anxiety. It's brutal. Glad you have some meds. I used to use Xanax but was abusing those too (shocker) and found the rebound anxiety to be unbearable. Using an herbal supplement now with SJW, HTP, kava kava and valerian. Not a doctor by any means but it seems to help me, especially with sleep. Haven't been to a meeting yet because the very idea makes me break out in a sweat. Have you looked into other recovery programs? There are lots of forums about the choices on here I believe. Again, new to this site too. Keep posting!!

08-11-2012, 03:54 PM	#8 (permalink)
BruceJ Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Clinton, MT Posts: 249	Thanks guys. I read a little about the avrt and the RR program. That's almost spooky but then I probably have an AA-programed mindset. I realize that at just a few days sober I'm probably not thinking very straight. I'm just going to make it to bedtime without a drink today and deal with tomorrow when it comes, I suppose.

08-11-2012, 04:23 PM	#10 (permalink)
*Hevyn* Learning to live again Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 11,118	Hi Bruce. My problem was anxiety, too - but in the end drinking was making it so much worse. My answer was to just drink more - until I'd worked my way up to a 30-pack a day. In the end, nothing was fun, exciting, or interesting. I'm so glad you aren't settling for that old, sick way of life. Congratulations on reclaiming your life, and on your Day 4. You know you can do this, Bruce - you've done it before. This can be the last time you have to go through this. We're all rooting for you. __________________ You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. - Fr. Gregory Boyle, Homeboy Industries Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson

08-11-2012, 04:30 PM	#11 (permalink)
awuh1 Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 1,105	AA meetings are AAmeetings. The AA program is the AA program. Most people find the meetings helpful. If you don't then get a sponsor and do the program in the way that suits you. Perhaps you can tolerate some VERY small meetings or start one for those of like mind. Best wishes __________________ "Anyone who becomes seriously involved in the pursuit of Science becomes convinced that there is a Spirit manifest in the Laws of the Universe; A Spirit, that is superior, to that of man." (Albert Einstein)

08-11-2012, 06:06 PM	#12 (permalink)
sissy07 Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Austin, Texas Posts: 1,387	Welcome to SR, Bruce!

08-12-2012, 05:08 AM	#13 (permalink)
Zebra1275 Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 3,418	Welcome to SR!

08-12-2012, 05:32 AM	#14 (permalink)
micealc Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Irish Posts: 486	Welcome to SR Bruce....I found ACA...after 30 years of AA. AA helped me to Stay Away from Alcohol/Tranx...the Obsession also left. We are all different....I did the AA Steps...but this was not enough. There are Some of us that Need More than just AA. I Suffer From PTSD....this is as a Result of Constant Tention in the Home of My Earthly Parents. My Inner Child....that always felt different is what was the Problem. I could never Mix with others...Make Real Friends. Check ot the Laundry List of ACA....it may just Click. __________________ If we cannot say NO, then our YES is meaningless. Fear knocked at the door,Faith answered,There was no one there. God, if I can’t have what I want, let me want what I have.

08-12-2012, 06:05 AM	#16 (permalink)
*least* bona fido dog-lover Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: eastern USA Posts: 28,702 Blog Entries: 31	Welcome to the family! I got, and stayed, sober with the help of my addiction counselor and this site and have been happily sober over two years. There are many ways to recover your life. Find what suits you and work it like your life depends on it. __________________ I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them. Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

08-12-2012, 06:36 AM	#17 (permalink)
sugarbear1 ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD Posts: 9,763	Welcome to SR! __________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

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08-12-2012, 06:44 AM	#18 (permalink)
Mizzuno Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: California Posts: 1,378 Blog Entries: 11	Welcome back!

08-12-2012, 12:02 PM	#19 (permalink)
Auvers Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Water's Edge Posts: 237 Blog Entries: 2	Bruce, if you are basically an introverted sort who finds over stimulation in groups and feels far more comfort alone or with a small number of people, then any group oriented recovery process might not be your best choice. As others have said, there are other ways to do it.

08-12-2012, 01:32 PM	#20 (permalink)
artsoul SR Fan Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Mississippi Posts: 7,582	Welcome BruceJ! I'm really glad you're here - this place was my constant companion for those first days of sobriety. I kept things really, really simple - it was enough to focus on getting through the next day (hour or minute) without drinking. I think we find out what tools are best for us along the way..... I've used almost all of them at different times and they've all been helpful. Look forward to seeing you around the forum!