I'm not quite new here...

[ljames103]

I don't really know how to start. I used to post here... last time was the end of October (I looked it up). At that point, I had been sober for a month and I felt great. I continued to not drink for another month or two after that, and then everything sort of fell apart. Looking back, I realize that I was looking for any excuse to be able to drink again. It's almost like I was just putting in my time or something.

So... now things are worse than ever before. I stopped drinking wine and moved on to vodka. Instead of waiting until after dinner, I now start at noon. I drink every single day, and if I don't, I definitely have withdrawal symptoms. Sweating, shaking, vomiting, etc. I never had that happen before. It scares me.

It's 5:30 in the morning, and in a few hours I have a dr. appt. I'm thinking about doing something that I've never done before, which is to talk to my dr about my drinking (I know, crazy, right?). I just don't know what else to do at this point...

So I don't really know what else to say. I guess I just really need a friend, as most people in my life would be shocked to know that I'm even drinking at all. I don't know why, but I don't want them to know. When everyone found out last fall that I had quit drinking the first time, it was the most humiliating experience of my life, and I hated how I was treated.

I'm sorry if this post is rambling or doesn't make much sense. I'm exhausted and my brain is very foggy. Just thank you for listening.

[NewBeginning010]

Hi James, Its late here & I just checked in before going to bed & wanted to let you know that we understand & are here to support you. You doc is there to help you. You can do this my friend

Keep posting & sharing... it helps

[Dee74]

welcome back ljames103 - lots of friends and interested parties here

I agree - unburden yourself to your Dr...make a change...make this a day with a difference

D

[bbthumper]

Talking to your doc is probably the best thing you could do right now. First thing is first. A safe detox is priority one.

Quitting drinking is a scary thing. For most of us it is all we have ever known. Its been our answer to just about everything. But, as you have seen, at some point it just doesnt work as well as it used to and begins to be a problem.

Know that there is hope for you. Not "hope" as in wishful thinking, but "hope" as in promise. Millions of people have recovered from alcoholism. I recovered through AA. Have been sober for 4 years now and am happier than I ever have been. Maybe you can find find answers in AA too?

Wish you the best!

[bluegem]

I hope the doctor helps you ... xxx