Buying flowers, even when you don't feel like it!

[reggiewayne]

For years I did things when I wanted to do them. I wanted people to judge me based on my intentions not my actions. When I was coming off another humiliating drunk episode I would tell you "up and down" how I was done, this was it, I have learned my lesson. When that feeling passed (like all feelings always pass) I would tell you a different story "it will be different this time, I'm going to stick to beer, I can handle it, I still have my job, I don't drink as much as that guy", etc...

When I was in the "mood" to work, I did very well. I seemed to work faster, better, sharper, than others; but when I didn't feel like it, I didn't do it. When I was in the mood to be a good father and good husband I was, but when I wasn't, I wasn't...

The point is, I never did anything I didn't want to do. I would tell you I would go out on Friday night, or I'd make your birthday party, or I'd love to help you watch your dogs, but if I wasn't in the mood, I simply would say f it and do what I wanted to do which 10 times out of 10 had something to do with drinking.

Now that I am in recovery I do the things that I say I am going to do. I don't always like it BUT THE REWARD IS I GET TO BE OK WITH ME.

And what that means is I am content. I have drank my entire life trying to be content. Early on it worked, as my drinking progressed it worked less, and at the end it never worked.

Sooner or later our conscious catch's us.

At that point we either drink more or take more drugs, or we have to search for another way.

Today, I am so grateful for sobriety. I am so grateful that I can be me even when I don't feel like it. Today I look at my actions only. Intentions mean nothing.

Was I helpful today? Did I make the bed? Did I pause when aggatated with another person? Did I tell my kids I love them? Did I help my wife clean the house? Did I do my best at work today?

And when all else fails.... go buy your wife flowers... Even if you don't want to. Buy her flowers and tell her you love and appreciate her. If you think you don't have the money, ask yourself if you ever didn't have the money for booze and smokes???

Good night all!

RW

[Fallow]

Wow you are so right! And she hasn't gotten flowers in years...

Till now

[NoFireWater]

Great post Reggie! It's so true that we could find time to do things involving drinking, but didn't have time for other truly important things. Ditto for the money. Can't tell you how many nights I had money for a few drinks, yet my car needed work and I couldn't find the cash to fix it. We are excellent at rationalizing, maybe that's why you see so many alcoholics in sales-we know how to spin things!

Great line Today I look at my actions only. Intentions mean nothing.

I have noticed I'm acting a little more on things I've been putting off since I stopped drinking. This is a very good thing.

You are going to make so many wives happy Flowers rock!

[sissy07]

Reggiewayne,

Today I look at my actions only. Intentions mean nothing. - I really love that!!

Thank you for your post. Very well written and great to read. Thanks!

[Obladi]

Post-it on my desktop:

Today I look at my actions only. Intentions mean nothing.

Thank you.

[instant]

RW you are on a roll- great stuff

[benice]

Very well said!

[Jebegogo]

Thank you for this. I'm going to spend the money today on flowers for the Mrs., that I would have spent getting a pint of Makers...

[foodie1]

Wow great post, thank you!!