| Welcome to the Sober Recovery Community |
Already registered? Login above ---^
To take advantage of all Posting, Chatting, Gaming, and all the features available at SoberRecovery, join the over 100,000 current members, and become a member of our supportive community today! Ads will no longer appear on the forums, once you register.
|08-04-2012, 04:34 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
I disappeared for awhile...as you all may guess I went back to drinking. And it's now ruining my life. I am still functional, going to work and paying my bills etc but personally I feel like the world is closing in on me. I never go out drinking in fear I will make a fool of myself. That being said, my friends therefore don't know that I struggle with this addiction. I am a closet alcoholic and put myself together very well. It's like living to lives and it's effing draining. Last night I did go out after drinking at home first (didn't drive--I have always been good with that). Well let's just say I did shots which I stay away from and became beliggerent and made a real fool of myself. I don't remember the drive home and my friend got me there even though I was an A@@hole to him. I apologized, he wants nothing to do with me. 1st relationship ruined. I feel like a POS. The guilt, shame, embarassment I feel is overwhelming. And I really don't even want to feel like this again. And I know the only way I can prevent that is to stop drinking. I am so scared to commit to it. Living without the crutch. But I am even more scared that if I don't stop I will burn every bridge, never find someone to settle down with, never be happy, lose my job as this progresses...the list goes on and on and on. I am scared to be sober and try to fill my time without craving wine which has been my "buddy" and my anti-anxiety agent. I've been sober before and remember how wonderful it felt. Why did I go back? Because I am an alcoholic and I stopped doing my recovery methods (going to AA, coming here, exercising, hanging with sober people). I am sorry this is long, just reaching out and hoping for some support which I know you will all provide. I am very grateful for that. Here's hoping for a better day tomorrow.
|08-04-2012, 04:40 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Seas
welcome back quit
I was scared to commit too...I didn't like my life much but it was the only one I knew.
I'm glad I faced my fear and trusted the people here who told me I'd never regret giving up for good.
I have a life - and a future - now I could never have envisaged in 2007.
Noone ever says - gee I'm glad I kept drinking...I would probably be dead now if I hadn't made that leap.
Tomorrow will be better...if you work to make it that way quit
|08-04-2012, 04:42 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Hi and Welcome back!
This disease is relentless and it will continue to take everything from you unless you stop.
And, it gets harder and harder to get out of the downward spiral. Take a leap of faith and know that you will be able to live a sober life.
|08-04-2012, 04:43 PM||#4 (permalink)|
in my 24th year of sobriety
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
"Because I am an alcoholic and I stopped doing my recovery methods"
Get back to AA and commit to it.
All the best.
.If you want to drink, that's your business .....
.If you want to quit, that's A.A.'s business.
. --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.
. L.D. 1989
|The Following User Says Thank You to 2granddaughters For This Useful Post:|| |
|08-04-2012, 04:46 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2010
Hey qfm! Glad you found your way back. I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I also lost friends due to my drinking. I've found that actions truly speak louder than words, as the saying goes. Some of my friends did come back into my life (wary at first) when they saw how I was changing things. It did take some time, and some of them won't ever be back. I hope that your friend will forgive you with time like many of mine did. Remember how you felt when you were last sober? It's still possible. I relapsed so many times before I finally stopped, and now it's been over a year. If I can do it you can too. Hugs and congratulations on deciding to face your problem head on.
Living the dream
|08-04-2012, 06:46 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Thanks so much everyone...I feel like I am home again just getting your support It means the world to me. I know I can do this. Going to challenge myself one day at a time and hit the rooms like it's my job. Will keep you all posted (hugs)
|08-04-2012, 08:41 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2009
I'm not going to judge you for going back out, many of us stumbled on the way to sobriety. Whatever you've been doing didn't work, modify it and try again.
|The Following User Says Thank You to Zebra1275 For This Useful Post:|
|08-04-2012, 08:55 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2011
Blog Entries: 5
Welcome back. It is a new day for everyone. All we can do is make each one count
Let everyone be my teacher and RTFD
May 15 2011
|The Following User Says Thank You to instant For This Useful Post:|
|08-04-2012, 08:58 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Forward we go...side by side
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
I sure hope this will be your time for lasting sobreity..
mine began...after a few fresh starts....when I committed to
working and living the AA Steps...
Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!
|The Following User Says Thank You to CarolD For This Useful Post:|
|08-04-2012, 09:05 PM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Glad you're back, quitforme. I'm very sorry about your friend, but am glad you're going to turn it around before things get even worse.
|08-04-2012, 09:31 PM||#11 (permalink)|
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Welcome back. never give up.
"The only real thing in life are dreams, which nature cant touch with decay." Bob Dylan
"Each day,somewhere in the world ,recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic , sharing experience,strength and hope."
|08-04-2012, 11:08 PM||#12 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2010
Glad you're back, quitforme! Don't get too down on yourself - most of us have had to find out the hard way (sometimes many times ). You can do this!
|The Following User Says Thank You to artsoul For This Useful Post:|
|08-04-2012, 11:44 PM||#14 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Southeast US
Blog Entries: 1
Welcome back, qfm. I am new here myself (10 days) and have found the SR community to be so very helpful during my short recovery.
Your story sure sounded familiar: living a secret life and feeling drained. Feeling the shame associated with the whole thing. I have learned from that, just as you will learn from your past experiences.
I wish you all the luck in the days ahead.
"This above all: to thine own self be true."
Sobriety Date: July 26, 2012
|The Following User Says Thank You to blueshades For This Useful Post:|
|Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)|
|National Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers |
| Drug Rehab |
Best Treatment Center |
Detox Center |
Residential Treatment Center |
Cocaine/Crack Treatment | Alcohol Rehab | Heroin/Oxycontin Treatment Center | Crystal Meth Treatment | Marijuana Treatment | Methadone Treatment | Suboxone Treatment
|Local Treatment Resources and Events |
| Alabama |
Florida | Georgia | Hawaii | Idaho | Illinois | Indiana | Iowa | Kansas | Kentucky | Louisiana | Maine
Maryland | Massachusetts | Michigan | Minnesota | Mississippi | Missouri | Montana | Nebraska | Nevada | New Hampshire
New Jersey | New Mexico | New York | North Carolina | North Dakota | Ohio | Oklahoma | Oregon | Pennsylvania | Rhode Island
South Carolina | South Dakota | Tennesee | Texas | Utah | Vermont | Virginia | Washington | West Virginia | Wisconsin | Wyoming
| || |