30 days for the second time.

[12skiptomylue]

It honestly feels like a hundred years, I can't believe it has only been 30 days!!!

I decided to go 7 days, then 30 days, then 90 days, four months back. I made it 95 days, and I went back out. It was miserable. It was not the comfort, and the embrace from an old friend that I thought it would be. It was a blackout, multiple humiliating experiences, two further attempts to stop, and incomprehensible demoralization.

I crawled back to AA with the head down, and actually heard my story this time. I saw myself in the pages of the big book, and I began to see that I wasn't a special kind of messed up of the incurable type.

I've gone thru SO much in the past 30 days. Had you told me before that I could get thru the stuff that I have this month without drinking, I probably would have said, "yeah well, who would want to?". And I am reminded of a poster in one of my meeting rooms that reads: "there is nothing so bad a drink won't make worse. There is nothing so good, a drink won't take away".

I tried to make it to a meeting tonight, but I got lost in a new town and couldn't find it. So, I'm celebrating with all of you.

[Dee74]

congratulations skip - good to see you too

D

[sobersolstice]

Nice Skip.

I'm sort of in the same boat. I quit on the summer solstice after 20 years of drinking daily, so I'm on day 34? I'd always half-tried to quit and usually for reasons other than myself. Usually, a special event would cause relapse, but in all sincerity, I've only tried quitting twice. The first time was half way through December, but NYE killed that. This time, I hope it's for good. I've been trying to preoccupy myself so furiously that I'd forgotten to keep track of my days.

One thing I've noticed is that I'm scatter brained and lethargic. I was very irritable at first and lost my job by being confrontational toward my boss. Now I'm looking at moving as my lease is up, and am barely making an effort to find a place. I have no job, and no savings. I can't figure out how to find a job. I get so preoccupied with distractions that I'm not doing things that will ensure progress. I don't know where this apathy stems from, but I'm not my usual self. Feeling numb. I hope I start feeling better, and motivated.

How are you feeling at day 30? I heard things start getting better from day 30. Personally, I've had no issues with going out to bars and bbq's. I just convince myself that ginger ale tastes better than ethanol. My angle toward it now is akin to drinking gasoline.

[MrsKing]

Congratulations Skip that's fantastic. Good for you. Sorry to hear of your troubles over the last month - I hope things start working out better for you soon. Here's to many more 30 days to come! All the best.

PS - like the quote from your meeting poster.