Hi, I'm new here

[ZiggyB]

I've been sober for 4 days now, for me it seems like a big accomplishment.

I've gone through periods of my life where I drank more and then was able to cut down on my drinking. I was averaging 2-3 drinks a day in the past few months. Recently I ended a relationship with a Man who drank much more than I did and was volatile, unreliable, moody and argumentative. The **** really hit the fan when he got laid off and I began finding empty bottles hidden and he was increasingly drunk during the day. We had a HUGE fight about two weeks ago where he became enraged and I'm sure alcohol was the factor in totally messing this relationship up. I have been so sad, I loved him dearly but we will not recover from that

Anyway this got me thinking about my own relationship with drinking over the years and how certain periods of binge drinking have caused me some problems, like hangovers, missing work, making a fool out of myself, chronic heartburn, and some weight gain. I struggle with depression and anxiety and drinking cannot be too helpful. I don't know why I keep doing it and I really want to just quit for good, I think my life would just be better overall, I would feel better, save a lot of money and not do or say things I regret. I might fall into the category of "problem drinker" more so than alcoholic but I do feel like this change will be good for me.

The most difficult thing by far will be dealing with social situations, parties, going out, etc. I live alone so I don't want to get myself too isolated. I am shy with some social anxiety issues so I think booze was helping me to function with that in a way.

I look forward to your support and giving support to others.

ZiggyB

[Dee74]

welcome Ziggy - you'll find a lot of support here

I think all of us, regardless of what we consider ourselves to be as drinkers, agree we're better off without it

You've found a good place to hang out

D

[IndaMiricale]

Welcome aboard, a fellow SF

Well I am not any more but lived there for a couple years. I hope you enjoy this place and keep reading and posting.

[neferkamichael]

ZiggyB, 4 days? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulations.

[cmc133]

Welcome!

[BoozeFree]

Welcome Ziggy! I also used drinking to help with social anxiety but then continued drinking alone. You'll find lots of great support here

[bryangt]

Way to go ZigBee! Not pushing anything on you, but changing your social circles in sobriety is a lot easier when there circle is already created. I found a new group of friends thru AA, and funny enough, some of them were friends before because I drank with them and now they are sober too. I too live alone & isolation can be creepy. I try & keep busy & stay in touch with who I can. I live on a dead end mile long road with on 2 other houses...and my nearest neighbor drinks, so I pick my times to visit them. Good Luck & keep on keeping on!

[miralek]

Hi I'm first time here.
My name is Sasha, I'm from Russia and I am addict.
I wanted to ask in which forum I read about how to work through the steps in the AN?

[NoFireWater]

Welcome Ziggy! 4 days is a great start. It's hard to separate from someone you love, but maybe someday you will both be in recovery and reconnect again when you're healthy. At least if you're on the path to a better life you'll be able to be in a good relationship again, maybe with someone new that will bring some joy back into your life!

[TTBABP]

Originally Posted by ZiggyB

Anyway this got me thinking about my own relationship with drinking over the years and how certain periods of binge drinking have caused me some problems, like hangovers, missing work, making a fool out of myself, chronic heartburn, and some weight gain. I struggle with depression and anxiety and drinking cannot be too helpful. I don't know why I keep doing it and I really want to just quit for good, I think my life would just be better overall, I would feel better, save a lot of money and not do or say things I regret. I might fall into the category of "problem drinker" more so than alcoholic but I do feel like this change will be good for me.

The most difficult thing by far will be dealing with social situations, parties, going out, etc. I live alone so I don't want to get myself too isolated. I am shy with some social anxiety issues so I think booze was helping me to function with that in a way.

I look forward to your support and giving support to others.

ZiggyB

I, and I think many others here on SR, can completely identify with that. This has been my life for about 20 years. Funny thing is I seem to need the drink to loosen up more with good friends then in less familiar social situations. I'm painfully shy and a glass (or three) of wine really brings out the fun, charming lady - of course two or three more and out comes the fool. I wish you nothing but the best of luck and look forward to more posts about your continued success.

[miralek]

ask because we have four ways to work through the steps in my town and I do not know which one is right for me (((

[Lind]

Welcome Ziggy, I can totally relate to what you are going through!! I also have social anxiety and used wine to get through social situations. What I have learned is that it makes anxiety worse!! 4 days is really great!! Keep up the great job and keep posting!! Lind

[ZiggyB]

Hi everyone,
Thanks so much for the support. I have a few friends that don't drink much and I also have a meditation group I go to pretty frequently. I do want to find some more sober friends, we have Life Ring here in addition to AA, I plan to check them both out.

ZB

[ZiggyB]

Originally Posted by Lind

Welcome Ziggy, I can totally relate to what you are going through!! I also have social anxiety and used wine to get through social situations. What I have learned is that it makes anxiety worse!! 4 days is really great!! Keep up the great job and keep posting!! Lind

Thanks Lind! Are you finding you are able to get through parties and social situations more easily now? I do find drinking makes anxiety worse, not right away but at least the next day.

[ZiggyB]

Originally Posted by TTBABP

I, and I think many others here on SR, can completely identify with that. This has been my life for about 20 years. Funny thing is I seem to need the drink to loosen up more with good friends then in less familiar social situations. I'm painfully shy and a glass (or three) of wine really brings out the fun, charming lady - of course two or three more and out comes the fool. I wish you nothing but the best of luck and look forward to more posts about your continued success.

Thanks - does it ever get easier dealing with people when you're stone cold sober? i actually think not drinking alone will be easy for me (although I have done plenty of that in the past anyway).

[ZiggyB]

Originally Posted by NoFireWater

Welcome Ziggy! 4 days is a great start. It's hard to separate from someone you love, but maybe someday you will both be in recovery and reconnect again when you're healthy. At least if you're on the path to a better life you'll be able to be in a good relationship again, maybe with someone new that will bring some joy back into your life!

Thank you! I do not think my ex will ever stop drinking, he has good friends who have been his entrenched drinking buddies for 20 years and they find some weird humor in getting totally messed up, it's like an entire persona for them! I do hope to work on myself and get healthy and if I can find someone who doesn't drink that would be wonderful. Relationships are difficult enough without throwing booze into the mix, it's becoming very clear to me now.

[SDSurfn]

Welcome ZiggyB!

You've made the correct decision.

[SDSurfn]

Originally Posted by miralek

ask because we have four ways to work through the steps in my town and I do not know which one is right for me (((

Welcome miralek!

Maybe you could start a new thread and introduce yourself?

-SD

[2granddaughters]

Originally Posted by ZiggyB

I might fall into the category of "problem drinker" more so than alcoholic but I do feel like this change will be good for me.

Hello Ziggy:
The answer to your above thought will soon become apparent as you go along without alcohol. I heard this statement below and it made sense to me:

The difference between a problem drinker and an Alcoholic is that:
A) When the alcohol is taken away from the problem drinker, the problem goes away.
B) When the alcohol is taken away from the Alcoholic, the problem is just beginning.

All the best on your road to recovery.

Bob R

[ZiggyB]

Originally Posted by 2granddaughters

Hello Ziggy:
The answer to your above thought will soon become apparent as you go along without alcohol. I heard this statement below and it made sense to me:

The difference between a problem drinker and an Alcoholic is that:
A) When the alcohol is taken away from the problem drinker, the problem goes away.
B) When the alcohol is taken away from the Alcoholic, the problem is just beginning.

All the best on your road to recovery.

Bob R

Hi Bob,
Thank you - I guess I will find out soon enough how much of a problem I really have, but I guess the desire to stop drinking is the most important thing, no matter what kind of label you want to stick on it.