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Alcoholism is a progressive disease - my story illustrates this.



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Alcoholism is a progressive disease - my story illustrates this.

Old 07-15-2012, 06:49 PM
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Stevie,

I turned 50 last month.

I know your point in posting this story was to caution the younger people who are wise enough to be confronting their dependence sooner, and I'm sure there are some who will remember your words long beyond today. It's a good thing you did - thanks.

But I also want to reach out to you and let you know that I'm here too and it's not over yet, girlfriend. We're still young enough to make a change and have a whole new chapter (short story, novelette, maybe even a book!) in our chronicles.

My tale runs parallel to yours. Your description of your alcoholic/teetotalling family gave me a little shock of recognition - mine is the same. And I wrote a paper about the need to study not just "Adult Children of Alcoholics" (a new concept at the time), but to figure out what the generational impacts are. (What about Adult Children of Parents Who Had Alcoholic Parents?)

Teenage years I did some binge drinking and took a variety of truly hair-raising risks. Laid off for awhile, picked up once I turned legal (18) and was a skilled weekend binge drinker. Stopped and started again numerous times during my 20s, 30s and 40s. At those times I stopped, I recognized I needed to "get in under control" but it wasn't difficult - I just did it. I don't know why it was easy then and it's been so difficult lately. But in the past several years, I have really been wrestling with this beast and I've been losing.

Until now.

Now, today, I have decided enough is truly enough. I'm a strong capable intelligent woman and I can do anything I put my mind to, d*&*it.

Is this thing progressive? Sure seems to be that way. But that doesn't mean we can't put our mighty feet down, hard, and trust ourselves to be able to handle the crap that is sure to come flying at us when we stop numbing everything. We can handle it. I know we can.
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Old 07-15-2012, 07:03 PM
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This is one of the most "hits close to home" inspiring post's I've ever read on SR... I'm 31 and know that if I keep doing what I'm doing I'll keep ending up the way I've been ending up.... broke, tired and hungover. My life is no where near what I thought it would be at 31 and I have my good friend alcohol to thank for 99% of the decisions that have gotten me here.... One of these days its going to click and maybe its today.... I hope so.... Thanks for the great post Stevie.
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Old 07-15-2012, 07:03 PM
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Thank you for sharing your story. We all carry this secret around and it feels good telling it and it feels good hearing it. We're not alone. We're not bad people, just sick.

Day at a time! Thank you again!
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Old 07-16-2012, 01:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Stevie1 View Post
Thanks guys.

I know most people recognise it as progressive, but I don't think younger/earlier in sobriety people internalise it. I sure as hell didn't; I had to live it to get it. And I KNEW about alcoholism, from my own family and relationships! But that didn't matter once I had a drink in my hand.

I know one or ten or 1,000 cautionary tales like mine won't make a single lick of difference most of the time...but if just one person gets the message, etc.
Stevie - like I said before, I'm 24, so I think I am what you call 'younger/earlier in sobriety' (am definitely still early in sobriety at 3 and a half months). Just wanted to say that I DEFINITELY understand that alcoholism is progressive and I don't necessarily think that it is difficult for younger people to properly grasp it. What I do think, though, is that it needs to be seen. Having grown up with an alcoholic aunt and all the chaos that she caused to herself and others, you would have thought that I would have known full well that I should probably stay away from alcohol. I didn't, but when I started to realise that alcohol was becoming a problem for me, I knew that I could become my aunt in a very short period of time. I knew exactly what alcohol could do to an individual and how it can destroy the lives of others. Seeing it and knowing it, I think, has been a major factor in my realising that I have no option but to stay sober forever. I don't think I necessarily had to live it personally... because I lived it for a number of years with her. I just needed to terrify myself enough times for it to sink in that it could be me, too, if I didn't stop.
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Old 07-16-2012, 02:05 AM
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Obladi (love your screen name, now I have the Beatles playing in my head!) thank you and you're right, 50's ain't old and we can still rewrite lots of history.

MrsKing, I thought you were older from your posts and I mean that as a compliment! I grew up with an alcoholic father and understanding alcoholism from an early age....but it didn't stop me, clearly. You go girl.

reggiewayne and wichita and everyone else, thank you.
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Old 07-16-2012, 10:07 AM
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Certainly was progressive for me. Though I was an alcoholic from the very beginning.
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Old 07-16-2012, 10:45 AM
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Thank you Stevie for sharing! I'm approaching 40 now and it was only after having my son, watching my Mom deteriorate in her own alcohol induced state that I truly woke up, went WTF am I DOING? and decided to live sober from here on in.
I don't want my son having to grow up with it. I want to break the chain of alcoholism, if possible, through educating my son and staying the best role model I can be. I guess it boils down to the thought of my son having to deal with alcoholism as a young adult/older adult is what made me sober up.
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Old 07-16-2012, 12:28 PM
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Stevie, I want you to know your scary/inspirational story is what made me sign up for this forum. Thank you.
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Old 07-18-2012, 06:52 PM
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This thread is great! My husband keeps saying to me- "it's only recently your drinking got worse" you never used to have issues. I have explained that it is a progressive disease to him but he doesn't get it.
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Old 07-18-2012, 07:17 PM
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Stevie, thank you so much for your honest post. I can relate on so many levels. It's good to hear that there are other people here who also didn't "get it" until their 50's. Obladi thank you for your positive take on it all

I was always aware alcohol was a lurking problem and made some bad decisions that directly tied into the drinking lifestyle. I can see that now, in hindsight. At the time I "wasn't ready to settle down".

Recently I discovered a close friend had crossed over into the hidden drinking stage and she's been hospitalized, unable to work, and insists everything is fine. It scared me in so many ways. Worried for her, worried I'm heading down same path,etc. I want to see her get help, and I want to be sober to help us both.
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Old 10-30-2014, 07:45 AM
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Came across Stevie1 story of progression today - in some regards, similar to mine....
Thought I would bump this old thread for newcomers to read and take heed!

If you've stopped, stay stopped. If any of this start to hit home - make changes.

peace
fly
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Old 10-30-2014, 08:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Stevie1 View Post
I always said the one thing I never wanted in life was to regret the undone....but truly, I regret not getting a handle on my alcoholism decades ago when I already realised it was a problem but chose not to do anything about it. It's a sucky feeling getting to your mid-fifties and wishing you'd done things differently; it really is.
It certainly is...
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Old 10-30-2014, 08:06 AM
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It's very brave of you to share all of this, thank you.
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Old 10-30-2014, 08:06 AM
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Good bump Flynbuy (spelt right this time lol)
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Old 10-30-2014, 08:14 AM
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Thanks for sharing Stevie!
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Old 10-30-2014, 08:58 AM
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What a well written and honest post! I admire you greatly for having the wisdom to recap all those moments in your life and recognize that alcohol had you in a tightening choke hold. I am 27 and quit two weeks ago from heavy drinking, and I am inspired by you. It really encourages people with a loud booze brain because we know the excuses to slip up are right around the corner. Knowing facts and experiences on the progression of alcoholism is key in quieting the excuses and understanding coming from within. Thank you for honesty and story. I was having nightmares last night that I was at a large party and I was trying desperately to find alcohol, but my family members kept getting in the way. At one point, by grandma barged in the room when I was trying to close the door. I woke up ashamed and happened upon this. How absolutely brave and helpful of you. You have given me the boost of strength I need today. Stay strong, it's never too late. You are wonderful.
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Old 10-30-2014, 09:00 AM
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This post, for me and for my situation (and I'm hitting 36 soon...) is just what I needed to read this morning. THANK YOU, Stevie.
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Old 10-30-2014, 09:01 AM
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Oh- And today is an unexciting Day 82. Off to entertain more clients, take more employees out, and stay in more airport bars and hotels... and not drink.
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Old 10-30-2014, 02:04 PM
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Originally Posted by hopeful4 View Post
It's very brave of you to share all of this, thank you.
Certainly from the heart.....
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Old 10-30-2014, 02:33 PM
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I thank you for Sharing this ... But also for the bit about realising earlier... I am 40 and do regret all the times I went overboard, but want to stop before that is daily.... Iwanna get off before destination death or destruction! I have many regrets, so dont need any more, or any worse....Your post has been another little click of falling into place, thank you��
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