Up one day down the next - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

brdlvr · 07-13-2012, 12:10 PM

I was so happy on Monday for making it a week, but the last couple of days I've been really moody. Not really wanting to drink per se, but just restless and/or sad for no reason.

It's like this pressure is building inside me. Maybe because it's the weekend again (my drinking time) and I'm feeling like do I really want to keep sober? Guess I'll just have to really focus on the moment.

Weasel1966 · 07-13-2012, 12:24 PM

It's Friday! My heart beats faster on Fridays....

My highs and lows were polar opposites all week for me. Let's hope we are both normal!

If I may point out.... You are trying in your sentences to give yourself permission to drink...stop it.... Theres no pressure building. That's a ruse.

Do something fun this weekend for yourself.

My best to you

Ken

brdlvr · 07-13-2012, 12:31 PM

Quote:

If I may point out.... You are trying in your sentences to give yourself permission to drink...stop it.... Theres no pressure building. That's a ruse.

Perhaps I am..I am just in a f-it place. Like it wasn't that bad.. just the hangover, depression after the binge, money spent, blackouts.. Ugh. Sorry just venting. Will get thru this feeling - maybe that's it too- not used to feelings.

Weasel1966 · 07-13-2012, 12:34 PM

There is nothing you said that I have not recently felt. I drank Sunday till I lost memory. And I traveled home on a train from NYC. It was dangerous.

I understand the feeling right now. I really want you to choose to be sober. When I feel like you do at this moment I get tunnel vision.... For one thing... If I can snap you out of it I would.

Be angry if you need to... Whatever you need. Just be good to yourself.

Ken

Live2Run25 · 07-13-2012, 12:37 PM

Stick with it. It's hard to stop drinking. We know that. You will more proud of yourself by staying sober. Keep it up!!!

MyTimeNow · 07-13-2012, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brdlvr

Perhaps I am..I am just in a f-it place. Like it wasn't that bad.. just the hangover, depression after the binge, money spent, blackouts.. Ugh. Sorry just venting. Will get thru this feeling - maybe that's it too- not used to feelings.

I felt like this earlier today, I was ready just to throw in the towel. I didn't and I'm glad I didn't as I feel great now.

My highs and lows don't seem to be following a pattern at the moment, they can be hours apart, days apart a day apart. Sometimes the highs are so high I think eh? What is this I'm feeling?! Get through tonight, you could well be feeling great again tomorrow. Get through tomorrow then it'll be practically the end of the weekend, then on Monday you'll feel great as you'll have 2 weeks to be proud of

Sorry that sounds like I'm wishing your weekend away! Do have a great one and enjoy it.

jakec · 07-13-2012, 12:40 PM

Try not to think "Aw man, I can never drink ever again" thinking about staying clean in the long run can be quite intimidating. Tell yourself you won't drink just for today.

bumble · 07-13-2012, 01:07 PM

Brdlvr, when I saw the thread topic, I was afraid you'd given in! I was so relieved to see you hadn't! You were so proud of yourself and so happy for making it - "What a difference a week makes!" Hang onto that feeling.

And, hey, sober normies have crappy days, too.

Up one day, down the next....then UP AGAIN!

SmittyBittyBoo · 07-13-2012, 01:58 PM

I feel you! I'm having a hard time today.

I'm irritable. And I want to say f-it too. But then I'll just be back to day one again.

We CAN do it!

**Dee74** · 07-13-2012, 02:05 PM

read your old posts if you need to, brd - it helped me remind myself I really was 'that bad'.
Stay close by SR - lots of support here over the weekend

D

bloss · 07-13-2012, 02:08 PM

I get that way too sometimes, like why will one more time matter? I've been trying to let the feeling go by and not hang onto it. That gets me into trouble once I pursue that why not one more time thought. This post has strengthened my resolve, really helpful. Thanks everyone for being onboard today!

***Hevyn*** · 07-13-2012, 02:16 PM

It's totally normal to feel that way, brdlvr. I was up & down for a couple of months. It wasn't all rainbows & roses right out of the gate. I was resentful & sorry for myself. That attitude changed, though - and I never went back to that dark place. It's a huge adjustment we're going through, but you will rise above the bad days! Glad you told how you were feeling - I hope it lessens your anxiety.

hypochondriac · 07-13-2012, 04:05 PM

Isn't this your second sober weekend coming up brdlvr?? This is a major milestone and you are going to feel fabulous when you get to the other side of it! It does feel a bit rocky at times but just roll with it, as long as you don't drink these highs and lows will start to even out, and probably sooner than you think they will. Stay close to SR this weekend x

07-13-2012, 12:10 PM	#1 (permalink)
brdlvr Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 207	Up one day down the next I was so happy on Monday for making it a week, but the last couple of days I've been really moody. Not really wanting to drink per se, but just restless and/or sad for no reason. It's like this pressure is building inside me. Maybe because it's the weekend again (my drinking time) and I'm feeling like do I really want to keep sober? Guess I'll just have to really focus on the moment.

07-13-2012, 12:37 PM	#5 (permalink)
Live2Run25 Run to live... live to run Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Western Maryland Posts: 936 Blog Entries: 5	Stick with it. It's hard to stop drinking. We know that. You will more proud of yourself by staying sober. Keep it up!!! __________________ -Britt Sober Since 6/3/2012. "And the day came for the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" 9 Half Marathons completed in 1yr 5 months. Getting Married on 9/6/2013!!

07-13-2012, 02:05 PM	#10 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 67,137	read your old posts if you need to, brd - it helped me remind myself I really was 'that bad'. Stay close by SR - lots of support here over the weekend D __________________

07-13-2012, 02:08 PM	#11 (permalink)
bloss Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: CA Posts: 2,324 Blog Entries: 143	I get that way too sometimes, like why will one more time matter? I've been trying to let the feeling go by and not hang onto it. That gets me into trouble once I pursue that why not one more time thought. This post has strengthened my resolve, really helpful. Thanks everyone for being onboard today! __________________ I only have today... 04/24/2012

07-13-2012, 02:16 PM	#12 (permalink)
*Hevyn* Learning to live again Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 11,578	It's totally normal to feel that way, brdlvr. I was up & down for a couple of months. It wasn't all rainbows & roses right out of the gate. I was resentful & sorry for myself. That attitude changed, though - and I never went back to that dark place. It's a huge adjustment we're going through, but you will rise above the bad days! Glad you told how you were feeling - I hope it lessens your anxiety. __________________ You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done. - Fr. Gregory Boyle, Homeboy Industries Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson

07-13-2012, 12:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
Weasel1966 A simple guy making his way Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Long Island New York Posts: 2,285 Blog Entries: 36	It's Friday! My heart beats faster on Fridays.... My highs and lows were polar opposites all week for me. Let's hope we are both normal! If I may point out.... You are trying in your sentences to give yourself permission to drink...stop it.... Theres no pressure building. That's a ruse. Do something fun this weekend for yourself. My best to you Ken

07-13-2012, 12:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
Weasel1966 A simple guy making his way Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Long Island New York Posts: 2,285 Blog Entries: 36	There is nothing you said that I have not recently felt. I drank Sunday till I lost memory. And I traveled home on a train from NYC. It was dangerous. I understand the feeling right now. I really want you to choose to be sober. When I feel like you do at this moment I get tunnel vision.... For one thing... If I can snap you out of it I would. Be angry if you need to... Whatever you need. Just be good to yourself. Ken

07-13-2012, 12:40 PM	#7 (permalink)
jakec Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 179 Blog Entries: 5	Try not to think "Aw man, I can never drink ever again" thinking about staying clean in the long run can be quite intimidating. Tell yourself you won't drink just for today.

07-13-2012, 01:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
bumble Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Canada Posts: 143	Brdlvr, when I saw the thread topic, I was afraid you'd given in! I was so relieved to see you hadn't! You were so proud of yourself and so happy for making it - "What a difference a week makes!" Hang onto that feeling. And, hey, sober normies have crappy days, too. Up one day, down the next....then UP AGAIN!

07-13-2012, 01:58 PM	#9 (permalink)
SmittyBittyBoo Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: nh Posts: 87	I feel you! I'm having a hard time today. I'm irritable. And I want to say f-it too. But then I'll just be back to day one again. We CAN do it!

07-13-2012, 04:05 PM	#13 (permalink)
hypochondriac Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: UK Posts: 4,451	Isn't this your second sober weekend coming up brdlvr?? This is a major milestone and you are going to feel fabulous when you get to the other side of it! It does feel a bit rocky at times but just roll with it, as long as you don't drink these highs and lows will start to even out, and probably sooner than you think they will. Stay close to SR this weekend x __________________ “The future you have tomorrow, won't be the same future you had yesterday.” ― Chuck Palahniuk, Rant

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