First social event and how I managed to stay sober

[workingknee]

Hi all!

I hope you are all doing well, healthy, happy, safe and sane.

Just wanted to share that I went to my first party tonight, I waited almost 3 months to do this (sober March 28, 2012), and decided to attend a house cocktail party that was full of wine and champagne, and wine and champagne - did I mention - it was a wine and champagne party?

and - very nice wine and champagne...

So this is what I did: bullet points for convenience:

- As soon as I arrived, I headed to a separate area: to the kitchen and put my small 150ml bottle of diet coke (or whatever fun soda you like as a treat) in the fridge and filled a wine glass with water in the kitchen and THEN walked out to meet and greet people - this way I already had something in my hand, and could dash into the kitchen to check on my soda, i.e if I needed to escape.

- I waited until other people had a drink or two before I started conversations with them. i.e I just flickered around the party for the first hour, a few short hellos, excusing myself politely - where I'd go pour some soda in a tumbler, or go to the bathroom, fix my make-up quickly, chat with people I knew really well quickly - and then... after the first hour, I'd go back and mingle in conversations I felt comfortable in. (this seems dumb, but other people were loosened up by then, and I felt more at ease talking, (mostly listening to their tipsy banter) - though happily!!!

- I wore heels~ for the ladies: this way (for me) I had to be super conscious and aware of walking in heels, and knew the risks if I drank- i.e - falling over or taking my shoes off to reveal my non-pedicured toes (another way to stay in the heels!) - Seriously though: I think if you dress up, and make an effort - the last thing you want to do is trash yourself> for me anyway...

- I stuck to soda water/ soda/ water rotations EVEN when the handsome single man offered to pour me wine!! I think it can be hard to say no to double temptation! (people really don't give a f*** if you're drinking or not, so don't do it because you think they may care)

- I kept true to myself: I talked frankly and confidently because I am a worthwhile person (I told myself this before arriving especially) and I was able to carry clear and thoughtful conversations because I was sober. I kept true to myself, a little reserved, but can carry a one on one (or two) conversation fine, my ideas are a bit forward, but I let myself be like that. etc - Basically I went and really just was myself - I didn't have to pretend to be someone else, I had no avenue for being someone else (alcohol) and I had no prior intentions of being a version of myself (I think this is important for the types of parties/events one has to choose to attend or not - as a sober person).

And that is it - no nibbling food to keep my mouth busy, no dancing furiously to keep away from the bottle, no having to hold a mobile phone and pretend to be busy...

I don't know if it helps anyone, but I thought I'd share this with you guys: after-all it worked for me in the end (even leaving early to get back to the babysitter (midnight)) - the handsome man who offered me the wine, also approached me, shared a great conversation, plans to meet up to discuss common interests, walked me to the door, AND I got a kiss goodnight! (a big, butterfly filled, sober, spontaneous kiss!!) SOBER! SOBER PARTY KISSES!

Now, I'm in my pajamas - drinking mint tea, just called my mum and best friend back home to gush, and am going to go and get my healthy beauty sleep with a nice book and no hangover tomorrow. I couldn't be happier that I succeeded through the night - even if it was just a simple night out - I'm glad I did it with integrity and that I had fun.

Good luck to all newcomers and those getting out there and immersing yourselves back in the world.

It's so cool to be sober!! I couldn't have done it without SR community either - love to you all.

x
-

[TTBABP]

I am thrilled for you and hope someday to be able to tell a similar story about myself.

[ACT10Npack]

Good to see your made through the party without drinking. But it seem like a lot of work to just stay sober. For me if I had to do that to stay sober then it would not be worth going to the party in the first place because I would not have any fun.

[workingknee]

Hey ACT10Npack - I'm obviously over analyzing in retrospect for the benefit of knowledge sharing. I seriously was just myself, conscious of loving being a sober person, and careful: I had a fabulous and fun night, it was worth the extra forethought!

[sugarbear1]

now it's time to treat yourself to that pedicure!

[artsoul]

Good job! Feels nice to drive home sober too, doesn't it?

[Zencat]

I think you prepared yourself very well for the party. You had thought it out before going there and had a great plan of action that did keep yourself sober wile you were there...WTG!

[KMC2008]

That is absolutely amazing! So happy for you! I am sure coming home after a wonderful night, sober, is an amazing feeling. Thank you so much for the great post. : ) enjoy your mint tea.

[Dee74]

some great tips there WorkingKnee
I might leave the high heels one to one side tho LOL

And FWIW I agree... to anyone wondering, it might look like a lot written down...but it's much less effort than I used to put into getting drunk...

D

[frances2011]

Love it! Sober kisses! I bet you looked as great at the end of the party as you did walking in.

No drunky running mascara, lol

I remember my first sober party, similar strategizing, similar success!

Well done

[Threshold]

Thanks workingknee, this is awesome!

I've been sober awhile, but there are still situations where I "don't know what to do with myself" at a party etc.

And the one you described would have had me in heebie jeebies!

Not only sober...but sober AND graceful!

I raise my glass of water with lime to you!

[hypochondriac]

That is so cool WorkingKnee! You must feel fantastic. Any yay for the sober party kisses! x

[MrsKing]

What a great post. Well done! I've been to the pub with friends as they all drink beer and I drink diet coke, and have had my husband's friends over whilst they drink beer, but I've not been to a party at someone's house yet as the new, sober me. I will remember your post when I do. I know exactly what you mean about the first hour though, that is ALWAYS the worst part for me... I never know what to do with myself and worry over whether people are going to ask me questions about not drinking, etc etc, but as soon as things get into full swing I'm fine... here's to sober fun!

[LoftyIdeals]

Well done, workingknee! And awesome post!

[instant]

Great ideas. When I was earlier in sobriety the other trick I used was to arrive later, so everyone has had a chance to settle down, see who else is there- and get a drink into them.

[forabetterlife]

I have to say..your post could NOT have come at a better time for me as I am headed into a similar social situation (house party, lots of social connections) in a week for the first time in my life and I am committed (but scared out of my mind) not to drink. I love your strategies AND the kiss (I can only hope!).
Thank you and how absolutely awesome for you!