I can have just a couple ... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

desertsong · 06-08-2012, 07:57 PM

This was my downfall. In my rational mind, I knew that I couldn't be satisfied with just one or two ... but my alcoholic voice told me that things would be different. They never were. One is too many, and a thousand isn't enough. I wish I'd known then what I know now.

What does your alcoholic voice tell you to get you to drink? Does it say, "Just one or two is okay?" Or, "You can have a couple and it will HELP you to get through this?"

I'm curious, because I'm beginning to recognize my own AV and its lies ... they are perfectly formulated to appeal to my weaknesses. I'm no rocket surgeon, but I would guess that your AV appeals to your weaknesses too.

What are they?

SomethingBetter · 06-08-2012, 08:08 PM

My AV knows me better than anyone, it knows my weaknesses and strengths, so yea it used to use all my weaknesses to get me to drink but now it knows that I am done drinking forever, my AV is still there but doesn’t fight nowhere near as hard, it knows me too well and if I say I am done forever and mean it, it knows that too.

aeo1313 · 06-08-2012, 08:10 PM

The main thing it says is you aren't an alcoholic. You didn't drink daily and it didn't really affect your life. You over reacted going to AA and you don't need/belong there. Just don't get wasted in front of the kids and you are fine. A bottle of beer is ok.

etc etc etc

Ha! I don't want a f*&^ing bottle of beer. What's the point?? Give me a 12 pack and we will talk! My husband put an airline bottle of vodka in his diet coke last night- that seems so lame to me. Why bother if you aren't getting drunk?

EXM6 · 06-08-2012, 08:11 PM

Mine usually says "**** it" or "no one will know." It always knows it's a problem, it knows it cant trick me into believing I can just have a couple -- so it takes the self-destructive approach. I'm done letting it steal my life.

**Dee74** · 06-08-2012, 08:15 PM

My dialogue always suggested - 'you're feeling great now - you overreacted'...

or 'dang it...sort it out tomorrow'....

D

debsam · 06-08-2012, 08:25 PM

Great thread Desertsong,

Kind of like "the language of the Alcoholic Voice".

I don't hear from her/it much anymore.....quite fleeting really. That's because I don't participate in the dance.

debsam · 06-08-2012, 08:34 PM

The negotiation for me was....

You've eaten really well today (full stomach), it's still early evening so you'll be in bed at the latest 10:00pm (reducing possible hangover risk based on decent number of sleep hours), you listen and advise others constantly (you deserve some drinks), you won't call anyone on the phone, so no one will even know that you drank........

And so on, and so on. Endless list of justifications to ruin my body, mind and spirit. What a waste of time.

HitRockBottom70 · 06-08-2012, 08:44 PM

My weaknesses,
Too numerous to count. The AV knows this and has used every one. Unlike Deb, I have been slam dancing with him for a few weeks. It is getting easier as time goes by, and I know I am going to win. I look forward to the day I can listen to the music and just enjoy by it by myself.

HitRockBottom70 · 06-08-2012, 08:54 PM

The worst one now is: you did not drink every day...you did not go through withdrawl when you quit...you have shown you don't need it by quitting longer than 3 weeks...why not just moderate and have just 1. But I know better so slam it I must

ReadyAndAble · 06-08-2012, 10:06 PM

Mine said, "Now's a bad time to quit. You've got that (insert anything, good or bad, significant or trivial) coming up. You should wait until after that."

Quote:

That's because I don't participate in the dance.

My experience exactly! Once I learned to just observe the thoughts, feelings, and images that popped into my head—without judging, fighting, or fearing them—the AV largely went away. It's probably off somewhere with debsam's AV talking smack about me. It always was a whiner.

DisplacedGRITS · 06-08-2012, 10:17 PM

Mine tells me that since i have this sobriety under my belt i have proven that i have self control and can handle the drink. If i don't trust myself then i can give myself a hard limit like one day a month or week i can drink. Still, i know that's a lie. If i give myself an inch i know i'll take a yard. Once i give my AV the reigns it's off to the races. The only control i have over drinking is whether i drink or not.

06-08-2012, 07:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
desertsong Choosing Life Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Wyoming Posts: 1,210	I can have just a couple ... This was my downfall. In my rational mind, I knew that I couldn't be satisfied with just one or two ... but my alcoholic voice told me that things would be different. They never were. One is too many, and a thousand isn't enough. I wish I'd known then what I know now. What does your alcoholic voice tell you to get you to drink? Does it say, "Just one or two is okay?" Or, "You can have a couple and it will HELP you to get through this?" I'm curious, because I'm beginning to recognize my own AV and its lies ... they are perfectly formulated to appeal to my weaknesses. I'm no rocket surgeon, but I would guess that your AV appeals to your weaknesses too. What are they? __________________ Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose; this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down. ~Mary Pickford

06-08-2012, 08:08 PM	#2 (permalink)
SomethingBetter Change is Good Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 674	My AV knows me better than anyone, it knows my weaknesses and strengths, so yea it used to use all my weaknesses to get me to drink but now it knows that I am done drinking forever, my AV is still there but doesn’t fight nowhere near as hard, it knows me too well and if I say I am done forever and mean it, it knows that too. __________________ "Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve." ~W. Clement Sober Stamp - Feb 20, 2011

06-08-2012, 08:11 PM	#4 (permalink)
EXM6 Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 255	Mine usually says "**** it" or "no one will know." It always knows it's a problem, it knows it cant trick me into believing I can just have a couple -- so it takes the self-destructive approach. I'm done letting it steal my life. __________________ "NEVER be bullied into silence. NEVER allow yourself to be made a victim. ACCEPT no one's definition of your life; define yourself."- Harvey Fierstein

06-08-2012, 08:15 PM	#5 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 65,289	My dialogue always suggested - 'you're feeling great now - you overreacted'... or 'dang it...sort it out tomorrow'.... D __________________

06-08-2012, 08:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
debsam Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Present Moment Posts: 626	Great thread Desertsong, Kind of like "the language of the Alcoholic Voice". I don't hear from her/it much anymore.....quite fleeting really. That's because I don't participate in the dance. __________________ ~ The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel ~ ~Whatever you put ahead of your recovery...you will lose~

06-08-2012, 08:10 PM	#3 (permalink)
aeo1313 sobriety date 5-2-12 Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Midwest Posts: 903	The main thing it says is you aren't an alcoholic. You didn't drink daily and it didn't really affect your life. You over reacted going to AA and you don't need/belong there. Just don't get wasted in front of the kids and you are fine. A bottle of beer is ok. etc etc etc Ha! I don't want a f*&^ing bottle of beer. What's the point?? Give me a 12 pack and we will talk! My husband put an airline bottle of vodka in his diet coke last night- that seems so lame to me. Why bother if you aren't getting drunk?

06-08-2012, 08:34 PM	#7 (permalink)
debsam Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Present Moment Posts: 626	The negotiation for me was.... You've eaten really well today (full stomach), it's still early evening so you'll be in bed at the latest 10:00pm (reducing possible hangover risk based on decent number of sleep hours), you listen and advise others constantly (you deserve some drinks), you won't call anyone on the phone, so no one will even know that you drank........ And so on, and so on. Endless list of justifications to ruin my body, mind and spirit. What a waste of time. __________________ ~ The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel ~ ~Whatever you put ahead of your recovery...you will lose~

06-08-2012, 08:44 PM	#8 (permalink)
HitRockBottom70 Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Florida Posts: 942	My weaknesses, Too numerous to count. The AV knows this and has used every one. Unlike Deb, I have been slam dancing with him for a few weeks. It is getting easier as time goes by, and I know I am going to win. I look forward to the day I can listen to the music and just enjoy by it by myself. __________________ I will never drink alcohol again, and I am not changing my mind. May 12,2012.

06-08-2012, 08:54 PM	#9 (permalink)
HitRockBottom70 Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: Florida Posts: 942	The worst one now is: you did not drink every day...you did not go through withdrawl when you quit...you have shown you don't need it by quitting longer than 3 weeks...why not just moderate and have just 1. But I know better so slam it I must __________________ I will never drink alcohol again, and I am not changing my mind. May 12,2012.

06-08-2012, 10:17 PM	#11 (permalink)
DisplacedGRITS Crazy Cat Lady Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Milwaukee, WI Posts: 1,915 Blog Entries: 3	Mine tells me that since i have this sobriety under my belt i have proven that i have self control and can handle the drink. If i don't trust myself then i can give myself a hard limit like one day a month or week i can drink. Still, i know that's a lie. If i give myself an inch i know i'll take a yard. Once i give my AV the reigns it's off to the races. The only control i have over drinking is whether i drink or not. __________________ Sobriety Date: May 3, 2013 If I can do it, you can do it. Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. -The Big Book of AA, Chapter 5 Page 58

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