Welcome JulesandCleve
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: California
Posts: 3
Welcome JulesandCleve
Hi everyone,
I am new to this site. I am an alcoholic. I once had over a year of sobriety, but, in March, I lost my dog, baby, and best friend within two weeks of each other and started drinking again. Now I want to want to stop. I don't have the desire, but I also don't want to lose my husband, job and family. Can someone please give me advice besides saying go to A.A. I did A.A. And the women were mean gossips.
I am new to this site. I am an alcoholic. I once had over a year of sobriety, but, in March, I lost my dog, baby, and best friend within two weeks of each other and started drinking again. Now I want to want to stop. I don't have the desire, but I also don't want to lose my husband, job and family. Can someone please give me advice besides saying go to A.A. I did A.A. And the women were mean gossips.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 106
Jules and Cleve, if you had one year, you know you can do it again. You are absolutely welcome here. I am not an alcoholic, but the daughter, sister and wife of some. If you would like to reason this out with other recovering alcoholics, there is a section on this site for that, too.
In terms of myself, my problem is hiding and avoiding and not doing things that will ultimately help me.
I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome and please keep coming back!
In terms of myself, my problem is hiding and avoiding and not doing things that will ultimately help me.
I am so sorry for your loss. Welcome and please keep coming back!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
welcome JulesandCleve
I may as well be the first to say it - apart from the women did you feel AA was working for you?
If that's the case maybe you need to try another meeting/group?
If your problems with AA go beyond that, that's ok - it's no dealbreaker - there are other methods of recovery and you'll find a lot them in play here
Here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
Personally I've relied on SR - this is a great community - I'm glad you've joined us
D
I may as well be the first to say it - apart from the women did you feel AA was working for you?
If that's the case maybe you need to try another meeting/group?
If your problems with AA go beyond that, that's ok - it's no dealbreaker - there are other methods of recovery and you'll find a lot them in play here
Here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
Personally I've relied on SR - this is a great community - I'm glad you've joined us
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
I'm so sorry for what you've gone through and that you're hurting. I was an emotional mess when I first came here. Alcohol just increases our anxiety and depression, and for the last year of drinking, I felt like I was living on the edge of sanity (yet terrified to give it up).
I know you'll find the same kind of support, hope and inspiration here that I have. Glad you're here!:ghug3
I know you'll find the same kind of support, hope and inspiration here that I have. Glad you're here!:ghug3
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Julesandcleve, I am so sorry for your tragic losses. Only someone who has actually experienced these calamities could ever understand.
I learned that there was no problem so big and painful that could not be made worse by drinking, it worked its charm on all of them. I hope that you can find the comfort and strength here at SR to let you move through these losses and be the person you want to be.
I learned that there was no problem so big and painful that could not be made worse by drinking, it worked its charm on all of them. I hope that you can find the comfort and strength here at SR to let you move through these losses and be the person you want to be.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Welcome Julesandcleve. I'm sorry for the pain you've suffered through. I always thought alcohol was the answer to all of life's problems - something to buffer me from pain. I didn't realize how important it was to feel those emotions instead of trying to blot them out.
I'm glad you realize it's time to reclaim your life. You can do this! We're glad you are here with us - talking about your feelings here will help relieve some of your anxiety.
I'm glad you realize it's time to reclaim your life. You can do this! We're glad you are here with us - talking about your feelings here will help relieve some of your anxiety.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
The central feature of grief is loss and you‘ve had more than your fair share recently. There is no shame in being overwhelmed by it. I’m thinking that perhaps some grief counseling might help, or at least some extra support from somewhere. It will be much easier to properly grieve without the alcohol. You have my sympathies. Please keep posting if you can.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Spring Texas
Posts: 62
You should know that although you may have experienced the losses that you did, you still have your mate. Don't let your mind trick you into thinking that it's ok to drink, that everything will be better if you drink. You were sober for a year, you know that stinkin thinkin is just looking for any excuse to justify what you are doing. You know that there is no GOOD that is coming out of your drinking. People fall off sometimes, your emotional state has triggerred you to continue to drink. Stop. Throw all bottles away. Attend some kind of group counseling, you and your partner. Have you thought of getting another type of pet, maybe a parrot. Teach it to talk. I know death is a hurting feeling but being active in addiction is a worse feeling. Its the addiction that is lying to your mind right now, look past it, beyond it, and do the opposite of what it tells you to do. if it tells you to drink- DON"T DRINK. I know how bad it feels to relapse after a long stint of sobriety but its ok. Dust yourself off and Start Fighting the Alcohol cravings again. Good luck to you. And hugs.
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Posts: 4,018
Sorry for your lose , but I will still say AA because you dont do AA. Its a life way to live. Try other groups and let them gossip. Serenity prayer does wonders.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: California
Posts: 3
Day 2
Today I thought about drinking after work, but didn't. I am still at the point of wanting to want to stop, but fear that I don't. I hope tomorrow I can make it through day 3. I know I will not get alcohol tonight and will feel physically better everyday I don't drink. It is the obsession about alcohol that is driving me crazy.
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