Early sobriety
Early sobriety
Hi all,
Am dragging myself back up from a pit of despair to much more of an even keel now. My life is changing so rapidly that it sometimes becomes overwhelming in intensity.
I am so grateful to have the love and support of you all.
The main change is that I really feel stuff now. I am coming out of that perpetual state of numbness when the only time I showed emotion was when I was drunk. Those emotions were distorted and unreliable.
Now I can cry when I'm unhappy and take pleasure in the little things again.
It is like learning how to live properly for the first time in adulthood, and I am getting to know who I am. I was never a great fan of change so I frequently feel scared. That's ok too. It is not only acceptable to feel upset, angry and frustrated sometimes, it is vital to my growth because those emotions were the ones I denied myself for years by drinking.
I will be 6 weeks sober on Friday. It sure is a bumpy road and I know I've got a long way to go but even at my lowest points in the past week I haven't ever lost sight of how utterly wrong it would be for me to pick up a drink again. And I haven't.
It is hard for me living with another alcoholic. I want desperately for us to tackle this together but it isn't my choice to make. Whatever happens in the future with us, I will never compromise my own sobriety.
That is the promise I make to myself.
Thank you for reading, and for helping me xx
Am dragging myself back up from a pit of despair to much more of an even keel now. My life is changing so rapidly that it sometimes becomes overwhelming in intensity.
I am so grateful to have the love and support of you all.
The main change is that I really feel stuff now. I am coming out of that perpetual state of numbness when the only time I showed emotion was when I was drunk. Those emotions were distorted and unreliable.
Now I can cry when I'm unhappy and take pleasure in the little things again.
It is like learning how to live properly for the first time in adulthood, and I am getting to know who I am. I was never a great fan of change so I frequently feel scared. That's ok too. It is not only acceptable to feel upset, angry and frustrated sometimes, it is vital to my growth because those emotions were the ones I denied myself for years by drinking.
I will be 6 weeks sober on Friday. It sure is a bumpy road and I know I've got a long way to go but even at my lowest points in the past week I haven't ever lost sight of how utterly wrong it would be for me to pick up a drink again. And I haven't.
It is hard for me living with another alcoholic. I want desperately for us to tackle this together but it isn't my choice to make. Whatever happens in the future with us, I will never compromise my own sobriety.
That is the promise I make to myself.
Thank you for reading, and for helping me xx
Jen here is a link that Dee sometimes gives out. It's about post-acute withdrawal syndrome.
PAWS | Digital Dharma
The emotional roller coaster can be very difficult after detox. The emotions do stabilize with time but in the first months they can be quite difficult to deal with. I remember seeing a bumper sticker early on that I just loved. It said “don’t believe everything you think”. Made me laugh and it helped me step back examine what I was telling myself. Take care.
PAWS | Digital Dharma
The emotional roller coaster can be very difficult after detox. The emotions do stabilize with time but in the first months they can be quite difficult to deal with. I remember seeing a bumper sticker early on that I just loved. It said “don’t believe everything you think”. Made me laugh and it helped me step back examine what I was telling myself. Take care.
Well done Jeni,
Perhaps it will work out for the best that you can get yourself stabilised now, and then hopefully your husband will follow your example and you'll be able to support him without so much energy being required just for yourself. Maybe the two of you doing it together could have been even harder. I don't know that, but I know some things only seem to make sense when we're able to look back on them.
Perhaps it will work out for the best that you can get yourself stabilised now, and then hopefully your husband will follow your example and you'll be able to support him without so much energy being required just for yourself. Maybe the two of you doing it together could have been even harder. I don't know that, but I know some things only seem to make sense when we're able to look back on them.
You're words are perfect there Jeni. As you well know we are at exactly yhe same stage in our sobriety and you have hit the nail on the head there - we are truly getting to know ourselves, there's all sorts of **** I didn't know about me! I like ice cream for a start!
I sympathise with you re your Husband - mine never ever drinks and I admire you for getting this far whilst living with a practising drinker. but remember we fit in here and we fit in at AA and I feel really happy that we are on our journey together too
I sympathise with you re your Husband - mine never ever drinks and I admire you for getting this far whilst living with a practising drinker. but remember we fit in here and we fit in at AA and I feel really happy that we are on our journey together too
Wow Jenni
I really admire you, I doubt I would have the resolve early in sobriety to live with another alcoholic.
Yes I cried a lot and I still do but not as much, I find crying a positive thing, there is definitely some release of emotion, some freeing up. I don't have to know what that is about, just the release it from my body.
Your post triggered tears, it happens when I read very honest gut level posts, I thank you for that.
Love
CaiHong
I really admire you, I doubt I would have the resolve early in sobriety to live with another alcoholic.
Yes I cried a lot and I still do but not as much, I find crying a positive thing, there is definitely some release of emotion, some freeing up. I don't have to know what that is about, just the release it from my body.
Your post triggered tears, it happens when I read very honest gut level posts, I thank you for that.
Love
CaiHong
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