Happy vs Joy - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Weasel1966 · 05-04-2012, 06:53 AM

I started making a list of things I am greatfull for in my life. We all must have done this at some time in our lives.

I started seeing a pattern.

I am happy to have a good job.
I am happy to make good money
I am happy to have found love in my life
I am happy to still be healthy (needs some work)
I am happy I survived this far....
I am happy to essentially want for nothing

I found that my list was void of the one thing I really need. JOY!

If I had to create a column for joyful things / events / people I hear crickets.

I made a real discovery today.

I will from now on.... As I move through the phases of my sobriety... consciously try to fill my life with joy.

Not sure how to pursue such a lofty goal but I will keep the thought out in front of me and see if I can make a difference for myself.

If you had to pit happy vs joy up against the things in your life who would win?

thesun · 05-04-2012, 06:55 AM

Interesting. How would you define joy?

desertsong · 05-04-2012, 06:56 AM

Good for you, Weasel. Joy is not that hard to obtain in sobriety; it comes from knowing you're doing the right things and from being grateful for even the smallest things, which we probably never noticed when we were drinking. I keep a gratitude list too, and each night before I go to bed, I write down 3 things that I'm grateful for that day. After doing this for the last two months, I've gone back and read what I've written and it truly does fill me with joy. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to appreciate the little things; it is only then that we can appreciate the big things.

Sounds like you are doing beautifully, and I'm so glad you've found some happiness.

Weasel1966 · 05-04-2012, 06:58 AM

Joy to me are those deep satisfied feelings you get from moments... Events... People that move me. Make me realize I can feel deeply. I can give and share.

Happy for me is fleeting.

Another way I see it is happy is forward seeing. Joy is seen in my rear view. Only time relveals joy.

Philosopher I am not....

doggonecarl · 05-04-2012, 07:09 AM

For most of my life I wanted happiness, joy, at the exclusion of sadness and sorrow. I think that's why I've been a substance abuser my whole life. I wanted to feel good, I didn't want to feel bad.

Now I understand to feel happiness and joy, I must measure those feelings against the lows in my life to truly appreciate them. I may not always be happy. My life isn't always filled with joy. But when it is, it's authentic, not chemically induced. Same with bad feelings. Now when I'm down or sad, it is because I have a darn good reason to be sad.

thesun · 05-04-2012, 07:11 AM

Ah I see what you mean now. I see sobriety as a progressive journey, over time that happiness will lead to joy.

foodie1 · 05-04-2012, 07:31 AM

That's an interesting thought Weasel, thanks for sharing. I feel very lucky with my happy v. joy list, most especially now that I'm in recovery. I think the main difference is I don't take all my subtle joys and happy moments for granted now. Thanks again for the interesting thread!

eJoshua · 05-04-2012, 07:54 AM

Good observation. There is a big difference between happiness and joy. I believe there's only one path to everlasting joy; I'll just leave it at that.

Pursuit of joy is the sign of a person who's not satisfied with the trivial and the temporal; a truly higher goal. I say go for it.

Zencat · 05-04-2012, 08:05 AM

Thanks for the post Weasel1966

Working somewhat with your perspective of happiness and joy. I can see happiness as a pleasure one can get from external events. Like people, places and things can make me happy for the time they remain entertaining. But once the show to speak is over its back to whatever the typical state of being that has persisted before the happy time.

Experiencing joy as a deeper more lasting feeling, I think of cultivating an attitude of joy. Attitudes are more persistent and enduring me thinks. Where happiness may be perceived through whats going on outside, joy can be an perception that originates from within.

**artsoul** · 05-04-2012, 08:46 AM

Great thread - that's deep, Weasel!

For me, the difference is that joy comes from feeling connected........ being in the moment, no thoughts, just opening your heart.

Weasel1966 · 05-04-2012, 09:09 AM

Thanks Artsoul. I realize my heart is / was not open.

They say a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. Not true. I need to share my sober thoughts. I did that today. Still read my post and cringe. Hard to say what's in my heart.

Thanks everyone for reading.

05-04-2012, 06:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
Weasel1966 A simple guy making his way Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Long Island New York Posts: 2,197 Blog Entries: 36	Happy vs Joy I started making a list of things I am greatfull for in my life. We all must have done this at some time in our lives. I started seeing a pattern. I am happy to have a good job. I am happy to make good money I am happy to have found love in my life I am happy to still be healthy (needs some work) I am happy I survived this far.... I am happy to essentially want for nothing I found that my list was void of the one thing I really need. JOY! If I had to create a column for joyful things / events / people I hear crickets. I made a real discovery today. I will from now on.... As I move through the phases of my sobriety... consciously try to fill my life with joy. Not sure how to pursue such a lofty goal but I will keep the thought out in front of me and see if I can make a difference for myself. If you had to pit happy vs joy up against the things in your life who would win?

05-04-2012, 06:56 AM	#3 (permalink)
desertsong Choosing Life Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Wyoming Posts: 1,210	Good for you, Weasel. Joy is not that hard to obtain in sobriety; it comes from knowing you're doing the right things and from being grateful for even the smallest things, which we probably never noticed when we were drinking. I keep a gratitude list too, and each night before I go to bed, I write down 3 things that I'm grateful for that day. After doing this for the last two months, I've gone back and read what I've written and it truly does fill me with joy. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to appreciate the little things; it is only then that we can appreciate the big things. Sounds like you are doing beautifully, and I'm so glad you've found some happiness. __________________ Supposing you have tried and failed again and again. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose; this thing we call "failure" is not the falling down, but the staying down. ~Mary Pickford

05-04-2012, 07:54 AM	#8 (permalink)
eJoshua I'm here to learn! Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: I'm on it! Posts: 2,030	Good observation. There is a big difference between happiness and joy. I believe there's only one path to everlasting joy; I'll just leave it at that. Pursuit of joy is the sign of a person who's not satisfied with the trivial and the temporal; a truly higher goal. I say go for it. __________________ “The Breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.” - Rumi

05-04-2012, 08:05 AM	#9 (permalink)
Zencat Atheist Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA. Posts: 7,267 Blog Entries: 10	Thanks for the post Weasel1966 Working somewhat with your perspective of happiness and joy. I can see happiness as a pleasure one can get from external events. Like people, places and things can make me happy for the time they remain entertaining. But once the show to speak is over its back to whatever the typical state of being that has persisted before the happy time. Experiencing joy as a deeper more lasting feeling, I think of cultivating an attitude of joy. Attitudes are more persistent and enduring me thinks. Where happiness may be perceived through whats going on outside, joy can be an perception that originates from within. __________________ Thank You hhh

05-04-2012, 06:55 AM	#2 (permalink)
thesun Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 165	Interesting. How would you define joy?

05-04-2012, 06:58 AM	#4 (permalink)
Weasel1966 A simple guy making his way Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Long Island New York Posts: 2,197 Blog Entries: 36	Joy to me are those deep satisfied feelings you get from moments... Events... People that move me. Make me realize I can feel deeply. I can give and share. Happy for me is fleeting. Another way I see it is happy is forward seeing. Joy is seen in my rear view. Only time relveals joy. Philosopher I am not....

05-04-2012, 07:09 AM	#5 (permalink)
doggonecarl Member Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Norfolk, VA Posts: 2,733 Blog Entries: 21	For most of my life I wanted happiness, joy, at the exclusion of sadness and sorrow. I think that's why I've been a substance abuser my whole life. I wanted to feel good, I didn't want to feel bad. Now I understand to feel happiness and joy, I must measure those feelings against the lows in my life to truly appreciate them. I may not always be happy. My life isn't always filled with joy. But when it is, it's authentic, not chemically induced. Same with bad feelings. Now when I'm down or sad, it is because I have a darn good reason to be sad.

05-04-2012, 07:11 AM	#6 (permalink)
thesun Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 165	Ah I see what you mean now. I see sobriety as a progressive journey, over time that happiness will lead to joy.

05-04-2012, 07:31 AM	#7 (permalink)
foodie1 Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Oregon Posts: 817 Blog Entries: 28	That's an interesting thought Weasel, thanks for sharing. I feel very lucky with my happy v. joy list, most especially now that I'm in recovery. I think the main difference is I don't take all my subtle joys and happy moments for granted now. Thanks again for the interesting thread!

05-04-2012, 08:46 AM	#10 (permalink)
artsoul SR Fan Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Mississippi Posts: 7,582	Great thread - that's deep, Weasel! For me, the difference is that joy comes from feeling connected........ being in the moment, no thoughts, just opening your heart.

05-04-2012, 09:09 AM	#11 (permalink)
Weasel1966 A simple guy making his way Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Long Island New York Posts: 2,197 Blog Entries: 36	Thanks Artsoul. I realize my heart is / was not open. They say a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. Not true. I need to share my sober thoughts. I did that today. Still read my post and cringe. Hard to say what's in my heart. Thanks everyone for reading.

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