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What do sober people do for fun on weekends?

Old 04-08-2012, 10:34 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Thumbs up

I suppose if my little married family of
25 yrs that I left behind would see me
now, id think they would be greatly
surprised at me.

Be careful at what you wish for because
more than likely you will recieve it like I
did yrs ago. I had wished to be an at home
mom and wife and was for 25 yrs. 7 yrs
of that I was into my alcoholism which
never seemed to interfere with motherly
and wifely duties until my addiction to
it hit a brick wall and I a concrete culvert
sitting on top the ground a few months
before downing a hand full of pills.

Family intervention took place in which
i went into recovery. That was 21 yrs ago.

I tried to enjoy family activities and always
seemed discontent. The only escape I had
was in a bottle late at nite after family went
to sleep.

After i enter recovery, my life began to change
leaving my little family wondering what was
happening to me, but never stopping them
in their own quest for lifes new experiences.

My little family grew going in one direction
as my recovery life went the other way. We
never seemed to be on the same plain with
each other which was sad.

My 25 yr marriage ended as I had wished
for so many years to return home where I
grew up and had my recovery roots in.
Family saw me as the mom, wife who stayed
home, baked, worked my recovery program
and whinned about being unhappy.

Today, after moving home 6 yrs ago, i remarried,
got my motorcycle endorsement after taking a
the motorcycle class, have many lovely vibrant
tattoos, piercings, a lovely home with gardens
Ive been tending to, swimming, watching many
birds that come to feed on the many pretty red
feeders, hummingbirds are on their way, mentally,
physically, emotionally, spiritually fullfilled and
happy.

Life by no means is over at 50ish with 21 yrs of
many one days at a time added together sober
to get me where I am today. In fact, we cant wait
till august to get here because we r taking another
bike trip and returning to Sturgis for the second time.

To ride on our triked out Road King is totally
exillerating and free. To ride in the open air, the
sun and wind on our faces and shoulders is truely
enjoyable.

Like I said, i doubt my family knows really how
happy I am today. Everything I do today is a
gift and reward in recovery and none would be
possible if i were still living in a bottle. I wouldnt
be living but rather Id be dead. Because that
was exactly where I was when family stepped
in to help me when i could no longer help
myself.

Sober life is simple and quiet for me and I love
it..!!!
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Old 04-08-2012, 12:50 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Try volunteering your time somewhere
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Old 04-08-2012, 01:02 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I also got really bored being off by myself all the time sober. I went and asked my boss....in short, I basically asked what I could do to get paid more and manage people. He told me to pass a series of exams which take a few years and close to 1,000 hours of my free time to study for them. I said alright...sign me up, order the books. So that's what I've been doing- studying finance books 8 hours per weekend day.

I feel like it's something to get me caught up from all the years I've wasted being a non-productive drunk. So I guess I would suggest to you to make yourself more marketable since you want to work. Get a degree, take a class, get a designation, learn a skill, and go make that money man.
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Old 04-08-2012, 02:05 PM
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Parties, bars, and clubs = fun. Why? Because it's social, fun, music, girls and you get to meet tons of new people and you get laid easily. So who has sober activities to replace those?
Like I said - I got used to fun in a bottle. Even after I got sober I had no idea how to have fun sober.

But I learned - I had to...when that's your idea of fun - and you're unwilling to consider other possibilities - you're making a very hard road for yourself, recovery wise.

I had to move past that idea of fun and I'm glad I did, cos I grew a lot.

D
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Old 04-08-2012, 02:12 PM
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Originally Posted by MrSilver View Post
No AA meetings for me. Sorry, but I don't see that happening.
I don't understand this. Going to AA meetings would solve two of your problems. You said you don't know any sober people. Well you'd meet them at AA. And two, you said you want to be more socially active, well AA would solve that problem as well.

Seems pretty cut and dry to me, but what do I know?
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Old 04-08-2012, 02:15 PM
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I really appreciate this thread...
Although, I am not an alcoholic, I prefer not to drink at all...
So, I find myself thinking some of the same things...
I'm 36, never been married and I don't have any children...
I'm the typical "people person" so socializing and meeting new friends is not really a problem for me..
The question is, where do you go to meet these said people?
So, yes...There are those of us on the "other side" that go through this kind of thing too...
And, Dee...you're right on the money!
I never could understand what was so "fun" about hanging in a bar on a regular basis?
Gee and here I thought all this time, that I was the boring one!
Ha!

Best wishes,

Diva 76
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Old 04-08-2012, 02:19 PM
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Furthermore, what do I do for fun on the weekends? Relax. Because that's something I could NEVER do when drinking and using drugs. And it works. Between working, the gym, and all the meetings I go to, I don't have much time to relax, so when I do get a chance, I do so.

Not waking up at 11am everyday helps with that too. Living according to a type of routine is very useful for the recovering addict.

I remember thinking in rehab: "Why do they make us make our beds every morning? What does that have to do with staying sober."

Now, I look at it differently. It has EVERYTHING to do with staying sober. We are not disciplined people by nature. So instead of sleeping in on weekends, get up early, workout, read a book, go for a walk, etc., etc.

What did you used to like before getting too heavily involved with partying? Start taking up those activities. I watch tons of boxing, MMA, wrestling, sports, etc. Why? Because that's the sorta' stuff I was into prior to getting into the party lifestyle. Right now, I'm listening to a Detroit Tigers game as I type this.
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Old 04-08-2012, 02:33 PM
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Good point, Squizz...
Of course, one must decide for themselves what is best, but speaking for myself only, I must say that a majority of my friends are from the program!
Of course, we all have that "one thing" in common...
However, I am very happy to share that I met one of my greatest friends at a meeting...
Not only do we help each other with our individual recoveries, we also discovered that we have lots of other common interests as well...

I value the friendship I have with this person so much that I know recognize what a true friend is...

I hope I see you back on here at some point with a similiar story to share

All the best,


Diva 76
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Old 04-08-2012, 06:30 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I appreciate the feedback. I want to make something clear though, my problems are on Friday and Saturday nights. Most of the things suggested so far are decent, but they are day activities. This is a small town so even though I do volunteer work, even that is limited to once a month. Also, I live the Southwestern USA and that is mostly desert. It doesn't snow and we don't have lakes or rivers here.

Here is what I do to pass the time: Reading, Writing, TV/Movies, Music, Running/Walking, Internet, Playstation. And of course looking for a job and studying.

These are all things I enjoy, but I want to be more social.

During the day I am fine. And most nights during the week I am fine also. It's the weekends where I get into trouble. Being bored and/or depressed were reasons I would drink in the past. Plus, it feels good to go out and be around people.
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Old 04-08-2012, 06:45 PM
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I spent so many years partying and drinking that staying home on the weekends doesn't bother me. I also have a husband and 2 active kids that keep me busy on the weekends so I don't have a lot of alone time. What about hanging out at a coffehouse or bookstore to try to meet people? There is a Stabucks in the shopping center by my house that is always packed on the weekend evenings with people of all ages. What about trying an online dating site to try to meet people? I have been very fortunate that my friends aren't heavy drinkers. I was the obnoxiuos drunk person at all the get togethers, so I gave up very few friends. Good luck.
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Old 04-08-2012, 07:22 PM
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The question for me would have to be "What DON'T sober people do on weekends?" I found drinking 24/7 to be terribly boring.
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Old 04-09-2012, 12:51 AM
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Silver - everyone must take their own path, and I wish you luck on yours. I also was bored at night a lot in the beginning. That time was when I would go on beer runs and then settle in for a night of binge drinking & scarfing down foods while hammered. So, naturally, I had to change my routine or else I probably wouldve let the boredom drive me to drink. Again, this is just my experience. Changing routines, stepping outside of my comfort zone...2 things that kept me on the right path.

Some people here suggested bowling leagues or softball team, they are at night. Maybe join meet up dot com and let your interests find you some groups that meet near you.

Lastly...I was against going to a meeting in the beginning...it was outside of my comfort zone, so while in my newly sober fragile state, I wanted to stay comfortable. The people here on SR would suggest meetings to me as I posted at night during those first 12 days, about how I was struggling or just bored. Eventually I came to realize...I had absolutely nothing to lose by giving a meeting a try, so why not go? Im glad I did. Again, everyone must take their own path. Good luck on yours...keep posting!
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Old 04-09-2012, 05:31 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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At the beginning I spent a lot of time in the gym, going to movies, even playing video games (I'm so not a gamer), devouring books, watching marathons of TV series. After a while though, I didn't have the need to distract myself or fill up my time, I became content and found it peaceful to just be with myself sometimes doing absolutely nothing. Course, now I have a 2 year old and what I wouldn't give for some free time! :o)
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Old 04-09-2012, 06:00 AM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by FLA View Post
... Scuba? Snorkeling? That's fun but it's expensive as s-hit and you need to be certified. Reading and volunteering Both are boring and reading is not a social activitie. Parties, bars, and clubs = fun. Why? Because it's social, fun, music, girls and you get to meet tons of new people and you get laid easily. So who has sober activities to replace those?
Yes SCUBA is expensive (so is drinking & druging) and you do need to be certified. However, snorkeling is cheap and fun and requires no certification. You just buy some fins, a mask and snorkel and hit the water. It can be a social activity as well. Also there are clubs that I belong to which don't require alcohol. I wonder if you simply don't want to give up your hedonistic lifestyle and aren't honestly looking for alternatives.
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Old 04-09-2012, 08:55 AM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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I wasn't sure where in AZ you lived I used to live in Yuma but I was drinking every day then. I still made it up to Flagstaff every so often, and sometimes Phoenix. Anyhow I googled what to do in AZ and came up with a few sites I was going to post them but didn't know where you lived and didn't want to insult your intelegence in thinking that you couldn't have done it yourself. Also we don't know your hobbies, I think it has become way to common place anymore that all anyone does for fun on a weekend night is go for drinks. When back in the states my plans are to find at least a few things to entertain me one is a pool hall, I like billiards and its social, I am also going to try to put together some kind of board game club or something, you know like a group that gets together and plays Risk or monopoly or Axis and allies for a few hours. Also I plan on getting into shooting and guns more because its just good clean fun to shoot things . Ummm what else is social, non alcoholic and can be done on a weekend evening...... You could take up prospecting, that wasn't a joke my uncle did it thought it was fun, he didn't find any gold but he enjoyed trying. after the prospecting you camp out with your friends. But to make new ones that is going to be more tricky. Maybe a book club, you could try joining one from your local library. I am just throwing out anything that is comming to mind at all. Paint ball that is another one I want to start doing.

I don't know what else but I will start looking because I know this one is going to plague me as well when I get back to civilization. Hell it is right now but well I have even less options here.
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:17 AM
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Well Im either at my Clubhouse or riding with my Brothers to visit another Local Club. Just sayin...
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Old 04-09-2012, 03:27 PM
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Old 04-09-2012, 03:55 PM
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Originally Posted by Charon View Post
I wonder if you simply don't want to give up your hedonistic lifestyle and aren't honestly looking for alternatives.
You are free to wonder about anything you want. However if you are going to wonder about that I would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.
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Old 04-09-2012, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by ShaneW View Post
Silver - everyone must take their own path, and I wish you luck on yours. I also was bored at night a lot in the beginning. That time was when I would go on beer runs and then settle in for a night of binge drinking & scarfing down foods while hammered. So, naturally, I had to change my routine or else I probably wouldve let the boredom drive me to drink. Again, this is just my experience. Changing routines, stepping outside of my comfort zone...2 things that kept me on the right path.

Some people here suggested bowling leagues or softball team, they are at night. Maybe join meet up dot com and let your interests find you some groups that meet near you.

Lastly...I was against going to a meeting in the beginning...it was outside of my comfort zone, so while in my newly sober fragile state, I wanted to stay comfortable. The people here on SR would suggest meetings to me as I posted at night during those first 12 days, about how I was struggling or just bored. Eventually I came to realize...I had absolutely nothing to lose by giving a meeting a try, so why not go? Im glad I did. Again, everyone must take their own path. Good luck on yours...keep posting!
Yeah I appreciate your support and what you are saying, as far as the meeting though I have already made my decision on it. If I change my mind it will be based on my evaluation of things, not because someone talked me into it.

I will say that today has been much better. I think last night when I posted that I was in a funk from what was a boring weekend. Usually I am a happy person. Much happier now that I have stopped drinking!
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Old 04-10-2012, 01:11 AM
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One of the funnest things about going out clubbing for me was getting dressed up in a skirt, which I don't typically wear day to day, and doing the hair and make up all nice. So I decided to figure out places I could go and still get all dolled up. I came up with so far:

The Symphony, yes I like it
Comedy Clubs, I loooove stand up
Church, Since my church has mass daily (mornings, afternoons, and evenings) I can wear my Sunday best any day!
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