bayliss

How do you know if it is withdrawal or anxiety?
I must say that tapering didn't work for me...but during the week..the days...I didn't have any issues...no shaking or anything when I woke up in the morning...
Today I woke up and was fine...but then I was reading more and more on withdrawal and I have been shaking a bit and have anxiety.
Since I already have an anxiety disorder and OCD it is easy for me to read into things too much and overthink things and feel like I am sick or something.
At moments I will "wake up" and realize that it's just my fear and I feel fine but then the "what if's" come into play...

I know I am going to just have to realize that tapering isn't going to work and I am going to have to just quit cold turkey.

But I was wondering when is it just paranoid anxiety or actual withdrawal?

sugarbear1

What helped me was learning to just be in the moment. This moment. Now. When I started thinking about tomorrow, the anxiety rushed in. If I had a To Do List, new anxiety. If I remembered too much of yesterdays, ouch.

When I stayed in the now, my anxiety reduced. It was how I held on each hour of my early recovery. I made it to 12 days, that is when I was about to burst, so I ended up really working a program of recovery and dove in two days later.

Today, my list includes finishing cleaning my bathroom. It's small, but gee, did I really have to use polished chrome as my items?? If I get that done, I will have a wonderful day. Of course, one can't have a highly shining bathroom without a shining kitchen, right? Then there's the dust in my bedroom that has to go.... and the rest of the laundry. ARGH!

If I can finish the bathroom, I'll have a great day!

You're doing well, Bayliss! Try reading some fiction or fun things!

Anna

Just get through each day, Bayliss and you'll be fine.

I'm glad you realized that tapering is not a good idea.

stepping

Bayliss - from experience I can tell you if I research withdrawal (or anything for that matter) online it seems to increase my anxiety. I quit cold turkey and had to stay FAR FAR FAR away from anything (books, online, talking about) that had to do with withdrawal because with my personality I would self induce these things on myself and build up HUGE anxiety. The thing that worked for me was sticking close to SR and reading threads that were inspirational from people with success on booting alcohol. If they can do it I can do it was kind of the outlook I took up. Close out any negative threads immediatly....WD, relapse, active drinkers etc.

Just hang in there bayliss. Just try very hard to relax and not overthink. Deep breathing, relaxation, reading inspirational stuff....Remember if we can do it YOU can do it! You got this girl!!!! You own it. It doesn't own you..YOU are in control!!

Taking5

Anxiety is a withdrawal symptom.

oinobares

I've struggled with anxiety all my life, which gave ample opportunity for alcohol to get its hooks in me. My experience has been that after a binge the anxiety is of an entirely more ferocious sort than the generalized background worry that I carry around day to day. It involves what I believe the docs would call agitation--I just can't sit still. I wear grooves in my floorboards pacing. Friends will say just sit and watch a movie, it will pass. Well, I just can't sit still, anywhere.

So, if your experience is similar, the two things that have helped me are walking/mild exercise--sometimes for hours at a stretch--and talking to family, friends, AA, therapists, SR, whoever is available to listen. I just keep talking and walking I guess, knowing it will pass and abate. Somehow just talking to people gives great relief. Being alone with that sort of anxiety is a terrible thing.

Hang in there! Breathe deep, keep talking to folks, it will pass!

GirlFromCO

Ugh, anxiety... it's truly hellish when you're trying to stop drinking. I think that for me, knowing that anxiety was part of the process helped me deal with it. I don't know what it's like to try and taper off, though - that never worked for me. Heh, I'd be "tapering" for the rest of my life. Since it's the weekend, could you finish your taper tomorrow so you can just get it all over with? You're bound to feel better on Monday.

bayliss

Thanks everyone for your comforting words.

Dgillz - I do know that anxiety is a form of withdrawal...but I have had an anxiety disorder since before I began drinking...I know that the incessant binging didn't help my case/anxiety at all. :/

It's funny - Stepping - you are absolutely right, I need to stay away from researching all that stuff because I induce on myself as well!
I was shaking earlier when I posted in the beginning and began to panic over it and then I had to go out and totally forgot about it and felt instantly fine.
Definitely the anxiety at work here. The fear. The fear of withdrawal...and then the fear of being trapped with this alcohol thing forever.
I don't want that!

Tapering definitely isn't really working for me...or maybe I am not allowing it to work...which isn't surprising for someone who has an alcohol problem...so I guess I am going to have to take it one day at a time.
And distract myself...I'll be heading back to the gym as well so that should help.

I know I have to quit. I know I will never be able to moderate my drinking and I know it will just make my anxiety worse.

Thanks for listening everyone!

Sapling

If you could just put that thought away in a safe place Bayliss....You'll be alright....Don't overthink things.....Think about how you are doing right now. That's all that is important.

bayliss

Thank you Sapling.

Definitely need to stop overthinking. I need to be grateful for this moment. Right now. And as Sugarbear said - just BE in that moment.

Any tips on how to be in the moment btw?

Robbie86

Hey bayliss , sorry to hear you are having trouble with your anxiety/ocd , maybe try and stop reading about withdrawals , it sounds like a trigger for your anxiety/ocd . Hope you feel better soon .

Jitterbugg

Anxiety seems to be ever-present whether its normal a hangover or actual physical withdrawal. If you have a anxiety along with other symptoms like excessive sweating and shakiness, then it's a good time to see a doctor. I knew something was different 'this time' when I first experienced withdrawal. You would probably notice yourself that its not a regular hangover. I had no idea what alcohol withdrawal was the first time i went through it, but the fact I was literally hallucinating, prompted me to desperately search online.

Sapling

You have to practice it...Try it for 30 seconds at a time at first....Don't think about anything you've done in the past....Or anything that you have to do in the future....Just what problems you really have at this exact moment. Try it.

GirlFromCO

I've got really bad anxiety too - kept me living as a shut in for years. Pills only work up to a point - eventually I realized that, while I wasn't experiencing anxiety when I was medicated, I wasn't feeling much of anything else either. I had to learn how to be alone with myself, if that makes sense. I learned to accept that the fear would come but I didn't have to engage with it. Nowadays I try to observe my thoughts when I'm feeling anxious and that helps me ride it out. It's hard work, for sure - it's much easier to take a benzo and zone out, but I like things better this way. My suggestion is to just take a moment to sit with your fear, breathe through it. Write down what you're feeling and thinking to clarify what's really going on. Just know nothing bad is going to happen to you. Fear can't hurt you - it's truly only as real as you allow it to be.

Sapling

That's good....

bayliss

Will definitely try and stop researching so much. I don't know why I do it. Especially with someone who has OCD. :/ You can do all the research in the world and have your mind put at ease but the OCD just throws you back at square 1. If that makes sense.

Definitely true. I can have the anxiety but need to be more aware of other symptoms. Which I'm not getting...in the mornings or even 15 hours later...does this count? I guess on day 2 and 3 is when I should become more aware - not hyper-aware though.

I did try it Sapling...I guess it is something that needs to be worked on as the mind will definitely wander. But I have no idea why I didn't try this before. :/ And then I do start feeling a bit better. The anxiety does ease a bit.

GirlfromCO - thanks so much. It's comforting to know that I am not the only one - and yes, I seriously try and avoid taking benzo's as much as I can. So I do try and deal with my anxiety...some weeks are better then others...I am just getting it a bit worse because of the decision to quit (and the constant worrying of WD and such). I guess I could also sit there and worry that I am going to one day get cancer or something...and that it is just that - a fear and I don't have to engage with it.
I also need to realize 100% that it DOES pass.
Very much like when it just went away when I finally got out of the house and felt "normal".

I will definitely keep an eye out though on the sweating, chills, shaking and such...
But I will also not dwell and blow out of proportion every twitch or wave of nausea I get.

Thanks!

hypochondriac

Try looking into 'mindfulness'. I'm learning about this and it makes a lot of sense.

I totally get the anxiety thing. At times it has been really bad. I have been able to convince myself that I am having a heart attack etc.. but seeing as I never went to hospital and I didn't die I'm guessing not I was terrified of withdrawals and tried tapering too. But once I stopped, the withdrawals didn't last too long and weren't too bad. If you feel okay but start to get bad when reading about something it sounds like anxiety but don't let your fear stop you giving up... like it did for me for so long. If you're concerned talk to your doctor and try using anything available to you which helps.

Best of luck x

bayliss

Thanks Hypochondriac.
I do the same thing...when I have bad anxiety I convince myself that something is physically wrong with me...

And I will definitely look into mindfulness! Thank you! Any suggestions on books?

I am afraid of quitting. But I am more afraid of not quitting.

Sapling

It takes practice...All anxiety is...Is overthinking things you've already done....Or havent done yet....If those thoughts pop up...Throw em out....Clear your head out a little....You'll get there Bayliss....Lower your expectations...For you and everyone else...That helps too.

hypochondriac

I'm reading Mindfulness - A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world by Mark Williams and Danny Penman. As the title suggests, it's not aimed at alcoholics and the intro is a bit 'lightweight' but I'm still finding it incredibly useful. Dee has posted some stuff on mindfulness and addiction before which was ace. I'll try and find it again.

Another thing I found really useful was a CBT exercise where you rate your anxiety, like this: http://www.psychologytools.org/asset...ght_Record.pdf

I noticed that when I looked up stuff on the internet to 'reassure' myself my rating usually went way up!