Inca

So I'm sitting here on day two (again) and all in all it has been a pretty decent day. I constantly relapse and I'm always amazed how I manage to bounce back pretty quickly physically considering I drank 4 bottles of wine two days ago.

Anyways, I'm on a work out routine, worked out the past two days, worked, went to a meeting, feeling pretty good. I'm getting ready for bed and all of a sudden I get this sudden urge to get out of my pajamas in the middle of the night, go to the store, and get some wine to celebrate how "on track" I've been the past few days. I was SERIOUSLY entertaining the thought when I figured I'd get on here and post instead. That little sneaky jerk comes out of nowhere! Ok, thanks for rant. I'm putting myself to bed! On to day 3.

Jitterbugg

Nothing like celebrating being sober with a drink! haha. Bloody alcoholism....

Sapling

I think you need to look into why you constantly relapse.

If you are going to use AA...You might want to up your game a little bit. Instead of two workouts...Try two meetings instead...Read the book...Get a sponsor...Work the steps. I haven't relapsed yet since I went into AA and committed myself to it. You don't get struck sober by going to a meeting...It takes work...The hardest part of that work....Is getting honest with yourself. But the truth will set you free. I didn't know what that meant till I worked those steps. I've had the obsession to drink lifted and I live a life I was meant to live....I couldn't have asked for more than that. If you find you can't commit to working the program of AA....Try something else. I haven't seen a person yet that constantly relapses have good end results. Not one.

OklaBH

i have hope that i too can bounce back from relapse. ive heard of people in AA that tried for 10+ years until they "got it" I feel this is my time. I really do

Sapling

I have a friend in my home group...That after 13 years in AA...Did his 5th step with a sponsor this past weekend...He couldn't wait to tell me. He finally "got it" and is moving on. It takes what it takes.

forabetterlife

Inca, I'm amazed too how good I feel physically after only a day or two of not drinking. We should consider ourselves lucky, I think a lot of people struggle a lot longer than that, which I'm sure makes it even harder to abstain.
Anyway, you did the right thing posting on here, that voice is just that..a voice, who wants us to give it what it's used to, not what's good for us. Keep staying strong.

tomsteve

good to see ya feelin physically weller. my problem( and most alcoholics in AA) was centered in my mind, and that took work. that couldnt truly start until the obsession and compulsion to drink were gone, but it does happen!! dont give up 5 seconds before the miracle happens

2granddaughters

For me, getting sober wasn't hard but living sober was.

It's amazing how badly we have to be beaten before we give up. I could see the powerlessness and insanity in others but could not see it in myself.

16 yrs ago I was answering the AA hotline in our area and got a call from a suicidal broken woman with 2 kids. Last night I spoke for her 16th Anniversary.

All the best in your chosen recovery program Inca.

Bob R

Sapling

That's awesome Bob...That's really cool.

sugarbear1

Call someone in AA when you get that late night craving, they will talk you to sleep. It works that way.

I wish you well,

EXM6

I couldn't help but laugh when I read this post... Only because I totally get it... "and why shouldn't I drink because I've managed to do well for two days?" Doesn't make sense to anyone else, but it totally makes sense to us.

Good for you for coming here instead. I hope you had a great sleep and day 3 is a breeze!

OklaBH

I get it-today is day 2 for me -even after a nightmare of a weekend my mind is already wondering "hmmm would drinking JUST on saturday be THAT big a deal?" Sadly..I know its simply suicide for me

Zencat

I have people in my AA home group that have experienced the same thing. Apparently for some it takes a wile to 'get it'. What they all have in common is that they don't quit on themselves, they stay in recovery, no matter what, until they are free from alcohol.