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Really depressed

Old 03-02-2012, 06:44 AM
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Really depressed

Been sober 3 months. Cant deal with these symptoms anymore, they are destroying my life; constant memory problems, both short term and long, slight confusion, fuzzy brain and cognitive issues.

I don't know where to turn, all the doctors are pushing me away and they said they havnt heard of PAWS syndrome.

Also, is it possible to have paws all the time as I seem to get no rest bite from the symptoms.

Thanks,

Luke
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Old 03-02-2012, 06:52 AM
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It's kind of like begin drunk without the buzz. This is your brain and body healing. We've numbed our neurons for a long period of time with alcohol. It will take time to heal. Give yourself 3 more months, it WILL reduce in this time. You are half way there, don't go backwards now!!!

Not all doctors understand addiction. The general practitioner knows in a general way what to look for in the body, then, when stumped, they'll send us to a specialist! PAWS, or Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome is real, according to the rehabs I've attended.

We all want an easier and softer way to heal from our years of self-abuse through drinking. Stay strong, you will be so happy you stuck it out.

I wish you well on your sober journey! Stay stopped and you won't have to go through this again.

Peace & love,
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:03 AM
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I did a quick google search and found these:
Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms - Relapse Prevention Strategies

PAWS | Digital Dharma

Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrom (PAWS)

this one quotes Terence T. Gorski and Merlene Miller from a previous link. Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome

The Symptoms of Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome | Recovery First

here's the search:
https://www.google.com/search?q=paws...w=1024&bih=626
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:06 AM
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Luke, are you going to AA ??

The oldtimers there will be able to help you, they have all been there.

Wishing you the best.

Bob R
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:21 AM
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Not going to AA, but I am looking into that.

I just feel so isolated and can anyone explain why I can't access memories from time I havnt been drinking; could this be PAWS?
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:27 AM
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Did you read the links I posted?
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:31 AM
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Originally Posted by 211648 View Post
Not going to AA, but I am looking into that.

I just feel so isolated and can anyone explain why I can't access memories from time I havnt been drinking; could this be PAWS?
It's the same thing we all go through to one extent or another.

Doctors can't help you, a Doctor in our town is in AA.... so is the Priest and the Chief of Police.

I wish you the best.

Bob R
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:35 AM
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Thanks guys.

Sugar bear 1, thank you so much for the links, they have eased my feeling a bit, but not really anything about affecting long term memories though.
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:47 AM
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I can't distinguish between PAWS and UNTREATED ALCOHOLISM. If it's PAWS, it'll pass. If it's untreated alcoholism, it may not..........unless you get to work on recovering from alcoholism.

I know you're not drinking....but "not drinking" doesn't in and of itself make me feel great, happy, and like my life has real meaning. Not drinking is a start but it isn't the only thing I need to do to feel better. I used to just feel kinda crappy, anxious, somewhat depressed, and like I was always behind in the game of life when I was not drinking but not recovering. For me, that stuff started going away when I got actively engaged in the 12-steps of AA.
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:48 AM
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whats untreated alcholism, I have never heard of that?
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:54 AM
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I don't know if this happened to you but for me........ I'd go through my days and slowly but surely, I'd start feeling tense. Nothing massive.......but it was pervasive. I'd start getting angry....or maybe depressed. I'd feel like I was missing the boat in life....like I wasn't enjoying much of anything and the good things that did come my way - the shine of them wore off quickly. That stuff seemed to build and build while I wasn't drinking because the type of alcoholism I have affects me the most when I'm not drinking. As the pressure built, I'd get progressively more anxious and restless....... something was "off" but I couldn't put my finger on it.

As soon as I'd get some booze though, I'd start to feel better cuz I knew as soon as that stuff got in me, I'd start to feel better. .......hell, usually just getting in the car and driving to the liquor store would start to cheer me up.
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:54 AM
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I am 4 1/2 months sober and am still feeling depressed. I haven't heard of PAWS until now...it's almost a relief to know that I'm not doing this alone and there is actually a scientific reason for it.

My brain is like oatmeal these days. I can't remember anything and feel like I can actually hear the wind blowing through what is left in my head. I simply chalked it up to my ego becoming silent. It was so loud before and overbearing that, now that I'm silencing it and relying on God, my own voice is quiet.

I'm so sorry that you are struggling so badly. Please hang in there. Do you have a sponsor you can call? Know that you are not alone. Thank you for your honesty. I will be praying for you that you may find peace in the midst of your storm.
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:57 AM
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Untreated alcoholism. Wow. The source of my misery throughout my life, even before I picked up my first taste of alcohol, before I drank every Friday night, before Friday turned into Friday and Saturday, before my drinking progressed to non-stop drinking for over a 7 day period (hey, I, the post graduate honors student and professional lost everything and was fired from a job answering a telephone! okay, there's more to that story).

Alcohol was my solution. The effect was awesome, I wanted to keep that feeling.

Once alcohol was taken out of my day to day existence, life sucked. I needed to find a new solution. See, alcohol is not the problem for me. I was the problem. Living life was my problem (because of me). I found a new solution in the steps of AA. Others can find their solution in another form.

Nope, I didn't define untreated alcoholism, but I have found my new solution. Life is wonderful today, and no, I am not yet working, but I have everything (and then some) of what I need to live a happy life today. Alcohol is no longer my solution to life's problems.
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:59 AM
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Thanks goat lady, I just don't know how I can get through this, loads of my memories have disappeared and I feel so down about that, however this website shows that long term memory can be impaired when suffering from paws.

Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrom (PAWS)
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Old 03-02-2012, 08:06 AM
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Your memory will return! Give time time. Allow the healing to take place.

Long term, short term, those memories are there, just not yet accessible! Relax. Sometimes our "alcoholism" tries to give us a reason to drink again. Don't give in! Work some kind of program to keep yourself sober.

In time, you will be a better sober version of you.

Try an AA meeting so you can talk directly with people who are going through what you are going through. Remember, everyone has an opinion, so I suggest talking to several people.

Think of it this way, a lot of people suffer brain damage through accidents, but they are able, in time, to relearn how to walk, talk or to do other things. This is because the human brain does heal, in time.

Someone I know gave me a clock and said, "Give time time." Something to remember every time I see that clock on my shelf! If I could, I'd hand you a clock and say the same thing. Maybe write a journal of this time in your life. Something to read in another 3 months!
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Old 03-02-2012, 09:01 AM
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Thanks for being lovely Sugarbear, I really appreciate it:!
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Old 03-02-2012, 04:45 PM
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I've found that unfortunately, many doctors don't seem to have awareness of PAWS as a common issue, they associate it mainly with rare cases of extreme, prolonged alcohol abuse. That's not always the case. I found the Terence Gorski information helpful. Also Campral helped ease the symptoms for me, but that is best discussed with your doctor. Maybe ask for a referral to a specialist with experience in treating addiction, they have the most current knowledge.

After 3 months, I don't think you should be experiencing ongoing PAWS symptoms with no relief. Don't give up hope though - there are things you can do to manage the condition and improve your quality of life. In this case, knowledge and awareness is definitely power.
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Old 03-02-2012, 07:11 PM
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Read those links. It specifically states that PAWS can last 2 years. The rehab I attended told us PAWS can take one month for every year of drinking/using (individual variables apply here). It is different than untreated alcoholism. I have PAWS symptoms, which I apply the 12 steps towards, when needed. Again, give yourself time to heal!!!

I know I didn't get to my last drink in one night, I don't expect to be totally healed yet, either. At least when I notice some problems I can change them immediately. I do mean immediately, my short term memory isn't as it used to be. Could be my age, could be the number of years I smoked weed, could be the alcohol, could be both of these substances I've used together....I don't care what caused it, I deal with it as it arises. I do know that working those 12 steps helps me on a daily basis. Today is okay. I'll deal with tomorrow if I wake up.

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Old 03-02-2012, 11:49 PM
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Go see a psychiatrist to deal with your depression, your GP won't understand it. AA may help too.
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Old 03-03-2012, 12:55 AM
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I think it’s important to distinguish between PAWS and depression. A person in post acute withdrawl can have emotional states that include sadness and irritability but the emotions are somewhat more transient. Pronounced sadness that is more or less continuous should be checked out by a mental health professional to rule out depression.

I’m a big fan of AA but it would be good to remember that one of its cofounders suffered from debilitating depression for decades after writing the big book (and presumably doing all the steps thoroughly). While the steps may help some with depression, this mental health condition is better left to those trained to diagnose and treat it.
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