Dee74

Personally, I'm constantly amazed and inspired by the people I meet, and the stories I read here

D

Lily

I hear what you are saying about praising people for doing what they should have been doing all along. However I see addiction and alcoholism as a way to deal with deep pain in our lives. Behind almost EVERY single addict alcoholic you will find a parent who was either way too authoritative, or permissive, or an alcoholic, addict or control manipulator. I had a lot of pain growing up and as a little kid I stuffed w/ food, and at 13 I discovered wine.

My mom was a major control freak and i could do nothing right, viola.

Check it out for yourself.

I had much to overcome to love and accept myself today for who I am w/out needing approval from others.

I do not consider myself a hero, but a survivor. Not everyone makes is out alive.

augustwest

its pretty simple really. people are amazed by stories of redemption and overcoming adversity. it illustrates human frailty and our capacity for profound change in one neat package.

langkah

Getting pats on the back for stopping killing ourselves has never made sense to me.

I've been honored to get to know people in sobriety who have done extraordinary things, and those people I admire greatly.

UpperbucksAAguy

"I never want to be praised for my time staying sober" It isn't my time, it is ours.

UpperbucksAAguy

I got sober at a relatively young age. They would pat me on the back and tell me how brave and special I was for getting sober. My sponsor would whisper in my ear that I was nothing but a drunk and that those people who were praising me were also buying my next drink

flamingredhair

Interesting thread, Tony.

First of all, I hate the word "hero." It's thrown about so recklessly. Think about it.

Taking that out of the equation I find I am able to admire people for different reasons. I'd feel comfortable using it to describe someone who is recovering from addiction. It's a fact that not everyone does.

flamingredhair

The top two definitions of "Hero" according to dictionary.com:

1.
a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

2.
a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal: He was a local hero when he saved the drowning child.

DayTrader

I've found a lot of serenity in not worrying about what other ppl think about someone else. If "they" want to call them whatever they want to call them, what's it to me (or to you)?

When I was being dominated by alcoholism, I felt that whatever everyone thought was my business. I had better ideas about what they should be thinking, saying or doing........ I acted like I was the master of the universe.

The problem isn't what "they" call them Tony.....the problem is that it bothers you. I'd work more on getting free from all the control and worry more than I would trying to figure out what everyone else is thinking.

Rexfiles

Exactly, it's none of my business what others think of me. Or their opinions.

And I understand addiction enough, that when I have personally seen people I knew twenty years ago, lost in despair, hopeless, near death, to become today people who have done a complete 180, and EARNED the hard way, the terrific, happy, grateful people they are today.....yeah, I'm comfortable with calling their journey plain, flat out, amazing.

Rex

LaFemme

I don't have anyone calling me a hero for being sober. No one I know even acknowledges it. And I do think the word "hero" should be used in a rare and special context. However....

Getting sober Is the single greatest thing I have done with my life.

P.s. - the comedian Louis CK does a funny bit on how, as a culture, we use words a tab extremely. Using the word "hero" casually might be a good example of that

LaFemme

One more thing. Perhaps if we, as a society, praised sobriety a little bit more, it would be easier for people to get sober. Instead we praise and glorify casual abuse of alcohol.

janiebluebird

The original post of this thread seems somewhat descending to me, as that because it is an alcoholic or drug user who struggled to achieve something (sobriety), that it should not be recognized as a great accomplishment because so many “normal” people are able to do it with such ease, or don’t even have to be burdened with it in the first place. Any time a person reaches deep inside their personal strength and does something for their betterment that was seemingly unlikely given their circumstances, it is an inspiration. It is about the struggle, the battle with oneself. Common themes: rags to riches, fat to thin/healthy, underdog to champion.

Db1105

Each day I wake up is a day for celebration. Each day I don't drink is a reason to celebrate. I think it is nothing short of a miracle when and alcoholic or addict doesn't pick up each day. I know just how hard it was those first few days and months when every cell in my body was screaming for that drink and still didn't pick up. I see nothing wrong giving a pat on the back, a round of applause, a hug, etc., for anyone celebrating an anniversary, getting a job or drivers license back, getting to see their children again, or any other simple victory we get from not using. The longer I'm sober, the more I see what a true gift being clean and sober is.

mynameistony

Its been a while since I wrote on her, but I can see that it was coming from a place of not wanting to get sober. Now that I have a little time and working on my 4th step I did and said anything to keep drinking

Sapling

Good for you Tony...Keep plugging along on those steps...

DayTrader

Awesome.....

curious.......what do you see or sense in that first post of yours (in this thread)?

mynameistony

Thinking that people who have damaged others dont deserve a second chance, I see its not about that.

Sapling

No...It's not...Glad you're taking advantage of the second chance you got...Too many people don't.

DayTrader

Niiiiiiiiice.

Seeing more deeply into my OWN misconduct, poor decisions, things I was "driven" to do because of a complete lack of contact with the real world, and the necessity I HAVE/HAD for forgiveness.......that made it a whooooole lot easier to forgive others.

Actually, for me, I didn't really learn how to accept myself as I am until I got better at accepting others as they are. In the past, I'd always focus on how to make myself feel better. I found out, however, that when I learned how to make YOU feel better.....I started feeling better about myself as a result. It seemed odd....to get X ya' go work for Y and X just comes.

Interesting thing this sobriety deal...... Sooo much good has come from soooo much bad. Paradoxes abound.