JayAngel

Hey!
I'm 24 and getting better at dealing with my chemically-dependent behavior. I feel I have to make a permanent move now, before I do hit rock-bottom. My cousin, who's been through this before and is currently 3 years sober and clean, said he thinks I won't be able to stay completely sober until I do hit rock-bottom. And even when I do think about quitting, my alcoholic mentality tells me; what about those great times you have with your friends that are all smiles??

I've come to realize those 'fun' and 'good' times are the exception. How sad is it that every time I drink heavily, 80% of the time I do something I'll regret?

My recent negative episode involved acting a stupid & wild at a BBQ, getting kicked out of a get together and fist fighting at another. All this after not drinking since New Years, which was great and went through with no problems. I have been toying with the idea of cleaning up for a while.

My friend says, "at least you're thinking about it. Now you just have to DO it." I like that guy.

Anyways, I know when the young people AA meeting are around my area, from a previous DUI/Reckless Driving plea. They might have a new non-court ordered lurker/future member. I need to stop lying to myself that I'm not in trouble because I haven't hit rock bottom.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

It would be good if you stopped drinking before things got worse, because as you will see if you look around here, they will get worse unless you stop drinking.

There is lots of support here, so I hope you keep reading and posting.

1undone

Sounds like things could get really ugly for you. Why not go to a meeting because you can, say tomorrow? Even if you aren't at your bottom and are still in denial go. You have nothing to lose. And don't compare yourself to anyone - I made that mistake and I'm pretty sure it lead to my relapse.

JayAngel

Thank you for the kind words and quick reply. My cousin did tell me there is support out there if I need it. It is very much appreciated.

Thank you and you're right, it is complete denial. My mother is coming over to my place tomorrow to take me out for lunch. She knows first hand how bad it is, and of course she knew my father. If you were to ask her, she'd tell you I'm a full-fledged alcoholic. I do have nothing to lose by going.
It's funny you mention comparing myself, I tend to do that. I compare myself to my 24 year old friends all the time, it is SUCH a bad habit that started when I became self-conscious about my drinking.

Thanks again for the kind words. Sometimes writing about it, that dialogue, helps a ton.

artsoul

Welcome, JayAngel!

Good move to get sober before something really bad happens. I decided not to wait either - I knew I was going to have to get sober sooner or later, and things weren't going to get any easier if I put it off.

It was scary at first, but this forum gave me the support I needed to jump in with both feet and keep going. You can do it too and we'll be here to back you up.....

jocata

You don't have to hit rock bottom, you can put the shovel down anytime. Go to a meeting and stick with it. If you work at it, your life can change.

God bless.

2granddaughters

J.A., you don't have to ride the garbage truck all the way to the dump. You can get off.

Keep posting what you are thinking and feeling, you will find that you are just like the rest of us. Remember ... "I" get drunk, "WE" stay sober.

All the best.

Bob R.

sugarbear1

Every bottom has a new bottom until we are dead. An emotional bottom is often where some end up.

You're here! You can stay stopped any time! Now is good...

Seriously, how much of those "good times" do you really remember? I have more good times that I can recall in sobriety and more heartfelt laughter!

Welcome to SR!

JayAngel

Thank you all. Such kind words. I think of the progress all of you have made, and it's encouraging. Thanks.

Thank you. I don't think my cousin meant it how I understood it. He said HE couldn't completely quit until he hit rock bottom. But "rock-bottom" is relative. If you ask my close friends and family who have seen me at my worst, they would totally tell you I've hit rock-bottom in terms of my drinking.

I justify myself by telling myself, "Hey you're almost done with school, you've got a good job, you haven't hit rock bottom. cheer up!"

My little niece (whom I'm very close to) told me today, "Good Jay, I hope you do quit because you're always annoying when you drink."

As innocent as she might have been in saying it, it struck a chord cause I've never been aggressive or belligerent with her. I think it's time I make a change, at least so her beloved uncle isn't a deadbeat by the time she's in high school.

Dee74

I absolutely agree 'bottom' is a choice...I had a lot of things happen to me that should have been my bottom, but I was stubborn...

for me my bottom was the moment I realised I couldn't live my life the way it was one more second

Welcome to SR JayAngel

D

Baloo

I feel lethargic about the quitting thing today, but your thread title really helped get my attention.
I could be dead already or gotten a STD or beaten by a mob or gotten a record or broke my back or neck or even killed somebody driving. So many things coulda happened and still can happen if I revert to the old stuff.

Sapling

Good for you Jay.....Sometimes it's something as simple as this to give us the kick we need....Best wishes on your new journey!

isabella1bella

Hey Jay

I wish I had've done something sooner ... im 8 years ahead of you and wish Id had the courage or sense to see the problem earlier - wouldve saved myself alot of drama over the years

Best of luck with your recovery - I think ur an inspiration admitting a problem so early in life .. it guarentees you have more smiley years than most of us .. best of luck xxx

Bizooky

Hey Jay,
Please keep coming to this site and don't drink alcohol, there are lots of other bevreges to enjoy! This is your opportunity to change your life for the better. Don't wait untill you have one of your children telling you what your niece did, like has happened to me. This is the start of day 18 for me and I am so happy to be clear headed this morning.

JayAngel

You all are incredible. I've never recieved such a warm welcome in any forum I've ever been a part of. Thank you all for making today easier. BEST regards!

Thank you isabella1bella. Saving myself drama is a MAJOR reason for my current desire to quit the drink. I know 24 is young, and it's not that I'm proud of them, but I have so many scary stories. So many regretful mornings. So much needless drama. I feel it'll only get worse. Thanks, again.

I asked my father something similar when I was 9 and he was in a drunken stupor. My mother was threatening to leave us, and I asked him, "Father, why do you always do this to us?" He just shed a tear and kissed me on my forehead and went upstairs to pass out.
In retrospect, I cannot believe I am now in this position after witnessing all that.

Congratulations, Bizooky. I don't think I've lasted 18 days without one beer. Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for your encouragement and good luck on your path to recovery.

DayTrader

Ya know...honest to God...I think a lot of well-meaning ppl have totally corrupted the concept of "you have to hit bottom first."

IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM does that mean you have to get as bad as the next guy before you can get better. I know guys who had to get to mental wards to bottom out. Others had to go to prison. Others had to be homeless and live on the streets. Me.....I hit one bottom with a job, a wife, 2 $40k vehicles, a 4 bedroom house, a job and a lot of stuff going for me.

I'm a stock guy so I use stock market references from time to time. Take 4 stocks all at $20 and they're all dropping. One can bottom at 15 and start to rebound, another can bottom at 10 then turn around, the third goes to $1 before it stops dropping and starts rising, and the last one hits zero and goes out of business - gone. All a BOTTOM is is the point where you stop going in one direction and head off in the opposite direction. For the one that reeeally hit the ultimate low, there was no rebound..it's dead and gone.

So really, "you can't get better till u hit a bottom" is almost an oxymoron... obviously, you cant stop getting worse and start getting better until you stop getting worse and start getting better.

As a side note......I've had MULTIPLE bottoms. I had my drinking bottom, a bottom with running my own life, a bottom in relationships, a bottom with my desires and my wants, etc.

.....and as a great mentor of mine says,

"Hitting bottom ain't all that bad. By the time you hit bottom it's all over. You're done. You're free. But the ride down to bottom my friend.......that ride down will tear you a$$ up......because you take your ego with you."

Awesome that you can connect those dots my friend. I had the same feeling hit me.... "no WAY I'm in the same spot HE was.....NO WAY!" I clung to that for another 8 years of drinking...... EIGHT years of my life....gone.....all because i was too scared to face my own reality.

1undone

Awwwhhhh your niece sounds like a total sweetie. LOL How cute in strange circumstances. LOL

JayAngel

My cousin meant well with that comment, I misunderstood him. And since I've joined this site, I've realized that "bottom" isn't someplace specific. If I were to stop lying to myself, I hit my "bottom" when I got arrested for DUI...TWICE!

Thanks for the kind words. They mean so much.

She is. There's a knot in my throat just thinking about the love I have for her. We have a truth-only policy so she'll tell me the darnedest things. This being one of them. It's such an understatement, considering I've had fist fights with her father, my brother LOL...............**SMH**

DayTrader

^^^^^^^^ I wasn't knocking your cousin. Hope you didn't take it that way. I WAS knocking a lot of the folks I hear in AA meetings......usually the crabby old dudes who have a lot of time since their last drink but NO CLUE what recovery is or what living happily means......when they look at someone young and tell them "You haven't hit a bottom yet kid!"
Sounds like you've already got a decent grasp of what it really means


2 DUI's kicked my butt too. Big bottom there.

the 3rd dui was an even lower bottom though.

I kept digging......even after the 3rd. Thankfully, that only lasted for another 6 - 8 months and, obviously, I didn't die......so that's a good thing.

Bizooky

Hey JayAngel,
Thanks for the encouraging remarks! We can all help each other out here. Your words will help me out later when I want a glass of wine, which I will not have. Stay strong and believe in yourself. You don't have to drink.