Glorifying alcohol/triggers
 

Well it's day 7 for me peeps! I am very happy about that. It's odd but last weeks hellish hangover seems like a lifetime ago. How quickly I tend to forget, hmmm. So I was at work today and Jamiriquai came on "just dance". If you don't know it, it's a song based on the title: "just dance, for all these bad times i'm going thru" etc etc It's a really catchy song I used to jam to it probably about 7 years ago before I had a problem drinking and could just dance and drink the night away. Anyways, it made me sad, made me crave a drink. I started thinking that living sober feels good but is boring. And how will I ever survive without one of those "crazy" nights again? I know it's maybe the AV talking or just the process I have to go thru to really get to the other side. Still, I mourn for the days when I could drink without issue. When I didn't do it simply to self medicate or numb my feelings. I will never get those days in my 20's back anyway, that decade came and went and most friends I partied with married off and had kids. As I thought about all of this driving home from work, I realized yet again that the thing that drives me to drink is not from a good place. And I know I have a choice- be a party girl and live a crazy life (hey to each their own if this works), or get to be the other me that I really love- caring, somewhat shy, comfortable at home in my pj's with my soul mate (eventually when i find him) haha , responsible, anxiety and depression free etc etc. I decided I was overwhelming myself about thinking about losing out on drinking forever so I am now committing to focusing on one day at a time. Tonight's all I need to get thru. And that, I can certainly handle. Thanks for listening :)

Thanks for sharing that. I hear music all the time and it reminds me of both the good times and the bad. Here for you and please keep sharing what you're going through.

Thanks for sharing, I agree! Often times I miss drinking, the parties, just hanging around goofing off with my family (I still goof off with them I'm just sober now lol) but often I get sad missing my friend "the bottle", knowing I will never get to spend time with him again, never get to "party like a rockstar" again lol.
But knowing I will wake up tomorrow guilt free, hangover free, etc-makes it all worth it :)

quitforme - I understand exactly how you felt hearing that song. Things like that happened to me every time I considered quitting. It would be - oh, I can't ever give it up entirely - I'll just cut down. It was that way of thinking that kept me drinking into my 50's, and all but destroyed my life.

You've done a great thing by facing the truth about alcohol. You'll never crash & burn later in life like many of us did. Yet there will be those times when you'll remember only the fun that it was - & you'll feel that you're missing out. The feelings will lessen as time goes on, though. At first they're quite intense, but we replace the longings with other things, and we learn to live again in a new way. Proud of you for coming here to talk about it! Hope it helped. You're doing great. :)

I hear you. I am 39 now and single and no children (that doesn't bother me as I never really was overly pushed, never had that maternal ticking clock).

But I would like to have a happy relationship with a good man and I never found one when I was drinking and know that I won't. I made a lot of bad chocies - the bad boys and the charmers.

Time to turn over a new leaf and am on day 15 now so fingerss crossed I can keep moving forward and make my life happier and in time meet someone to share and enjoy it with :)

I really love being sober and never want to go back to being the party girl. At my age it is losing it's appeal. I look young for my age so I probably have got away with it longer than most.

Stay strong, be happy :)

Sunny xx

Do you have a sponsor? A support program? Sometimes these cravings and triggers build up and you get amnesia about the reason you quit in the first place. It's good to have some people in your corner.

Sober date- 6-13-11

Hi there, I can definitely relate. I hear music on the radio that I used to dance to while I was out partying, and I get nostalgic. It does help to play the thought of drinking through, to see that it might be "fun" for a couple hours but it can lead to dangerous decisions you regret, and overall anxiety and depression.

I second the advice to find sober/recovery people as a support system. My sponsor and her sober friends like to go out dancing all night sober, and she is going to invite me next time. :) The party doesn't have to stop just because you stopped drinking. But it's helpful to find friends and environments that support your desire to stay stopped.

Best wishes, keep going strong. :)

I think most of us, regardless of our drinking history, mourn a little...but there is no going back, and we have to accept that, in order to move forward.

I think all of us are really adept at remembering the good times- it's a little harder to admit the bad nights are just as likely to happen to us again...

The fact is I can't pick and choose the experience when I introduce alcohol...

I give up my control - and I have no idea whether I'll have a good time, a bad one, whether I'll get into trouble or not, and whether I'll drink for a night or a year.

I remember my life was pretty 'boring' too after day 7...it takes time to learn how to live sober...don't judge your next 7 years on the last seven days....you can learn to have a fun and fulfilled sober life too, like so many others here, quitforme :)

D

Thank you all for your wonderful responses and yes, it does help me sooo much to come on here, it's something I look forward to every morning and night. Sunny27, I look younger than my age too so I hear you there haha Also, I went for the bad boys and charmers throughout which I beleive is why I find myself at 33 with a string of relationships behind me w men that weren't emotionally available. Sometimes though I think I subconciously wanted it that way. I never let anyone really IN you know? Hoping to be able to do that with sobriety. And I don't have that "ticking clock" urge either but if I find the right guy, I would like to have a family...we'll see. I don't have a sponser but am in therapy and going to try to maintain myself with that for now. I was going to go to AA but in the end decided against it. My Dr is involved in my treatment now too so I do feel I have a decent support system, SR being at the top of my list. I really feel less alone and scared when you guys offer me advice and encuragement, I can't even explain in words how much better I feel just from hearing from you all. ((hugs))

"The fact is I can't pick and choose the experience when I introduce alcohol...

I give up my control - and I have no idea whether I'll have a good time, a bad one, whether I'll get into trouble or not, and whether I'll drink for a night or a year."

Dee this is exactly what the issue is and what I need to keep thinking about. I can't control how far I will go, or when I stop. Once the alcohol is pulsing thru my veins, it's anybody's guess what can happen next. Put myself into some pretty scary situations in the past due to that, it's a wonder I never ended up with some kind of trauma. One minute I could be dancing and the next, waking up in a strange place, in my clothes from the nite before or worse, not. Ugh. Thanks for your post.... I needed to be brought back to THOSE memories. And yeh, day 7 is way too young to be comfy cozy. BUT, I will feel awesome tomorrow when I wake up able to face anything that comes my way sober, be it my morning cup of joe or a day at work.

Congratulations on your week, quitforme!

Like Dee said, it really does take time to get over the old feelings and thoughts. At first, it felt like I was going to have to resign myself to a mundane life with no rewards. Little by little, though, I started feeling more connected with life and more positive about myself. I found that I didn't need alcohol to dance or have fun at all - I just had to celebrate being me......

Of course, that would have sounded hollow (and totally unlikely) after 7 days sober, but that's what happened...... so don't let that AV rob you of your determination! You can do it!:a122:

Thanks for sharing quitforme79. I needed this tonight :-) Please keep posting!

thanks for your post. i often think back to my drinking days (which were not all bad i would be lying if i said thay were) and i miss that time in my life in the same way i miss parts of my school life and childhood thats normal
and i remember that i choose not to drink today if i want to i can i CHOOSE not to the power is now mine not alcohols i,m not a slave to alcohol .

Nice post. Sadly, I've seen some people in recovery, who have been sober for quite awhile, who still glorify alcohol and haven't really let go of the old lifestyle. I think we need to let ourselves grieve it a little, I had to do that before I could accept the situation. There were many songs I had trouble listening to in early recovery, they were triggers. But now I can listen to pretty much anything and am okay with it.

You guys are the best, really! Love all your responses they r so helpful. I like what u said about choice surrender. Sure, I Can drink & do whatever I want but choose to be sober:) we've got the power!