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Old 11-30-2011, 06:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Confronting the fear of telling people you don't drink anymore...


Any tips? Most of my good friends drink. Some of them I have known almost my entire life and we don't only share drinking together, we do other things together. I can just imagine myself meeting with a friend, we go out to eat at a restaurant...he orders a beer and I order a water...it just seems like an awkward and uncomfortable situation. Do you think it is better to tell them before we do something..."Oh and by the way, I quit drinking."? Or should I wait until he orders a beer and then I order a water and he seems confused and I tell him I don't drink anymore.

Do you understand what I am getting at? I may just be over analyzing these situations and my friends really don't care that I don't drink anymore and that they would strongly support my desire to quit. Any thoughts?
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Old 11-30-2011, 07:00 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I may just be over analyzing these situations

Yes, I'd say you were overanalyzing it. Most people don't care that much about the drinking habits of others... unless maybe they have a bit of doubt about their own drinking habits.

Anyone asks me, no thanks, I don't drink. If they press the issue I just say, no thanks, I don't drink. Eventually they'll quit asking.
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Old 11-30-2011, 07:04 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Your friends will most likely support you (if they're the kind of friends you want to have), but I don't think you need to make a big announcement, especially since your friendships don't revolve around drinking.
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Old 11-30-2011, 07:09 PM   #4 (permalink)
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This freaked me out too when I first quit 7 months ago. At first it felt weird but I finally realized nobody really cared and the one or two people that it bothered have their own drinking issues. I would not make a big deal of it- just tell them your drinking days are over- it worked for me or has thus far. Good Luck
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Old 11-30-2011, 07:12 PM   #5 (permalink)
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a few of my friends (real friends) were big drinkers too, but they all supported my decision - more than one of them told me they thought I would end up dead.

Some people didn't support - mostly the drinking buddies - and I had to walk away.

They may not have realised what was at stake - but we do.

I think low key is probably the best way, but you know your friends. I think it's best not to walk into anything where you'd be 'expected' to drink.

Hold your head high - you've simply recognised alcohol and you have a problematic relationship - you're making a positive lifestyle change

D
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Old 11-30-2011, 07:14 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Thanks for all of the replies! This seems to only be a problem within the first few months. It must be nice to have many months or years under your belt. One day at time.
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Old 11-30-2011, 07:16 PM   #7 (permalink)
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One day at a time you will get months/years under your belt. I got mine a day at a time and I'm coming up on two years.
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Old 11-30-2011, 07:21 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I recently had dinner with old friends who I hadn't seen since getting sober 16 months ago. When they came to order drinks and I ordered an Arnold Palmer there was some surprise. And then some jokes and then dinner. No big deal.

That's pretty much been par for the course with my friends.
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Old 11-30-2011, 08:34 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Yep, I was worried about this too. I have been in several situations where I had to say no to a drink with my friends/family and I just did it the low key way of simply saying no thanks. Some questioned why and I said just not drinking anymore or said that I'm not drinking anymore to be healthier. I definitely realized quickly that most don't think it's a big deal at all.
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Old 11-30-2011, 09:01 PM   #10 (permalink)
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My friends weren't just drinking buddies... We do stuff...

It was awkward as hell at first. I told only my closest friends, and it help the awkwardness a good bit. Some I didn't tell... If they seemed to be feeling awkward, I gave them as much information as they needed to feel more at ease.

It's fine now, we still do stuff together. It gets better.
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Old 11-30-2011, 11:06 PM   #11 (permalink)
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The people how don't mind matter. I have been surprised by how many people actually do not drink much, and how little they care about what I am doing.
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