Confronting the fear of telling people you don't drink anymore...
 

Any tips? Most of my good friends drink. Some of them I have known almost my entire life and we don't only share drinking together, we do other things together. I can just imagine myself meeting with a friend, we go out to eat at a restaurant...he orders a beer and I order a water...it just seems like an awkward and uncomfortable situation. Do you think it is better to tell them before we do something..."Oh and by the way, I quit drinking."? Or should I wait until he orders a beer and then I order a water and he seems confused and I tell him I don't drink anymore.

Do you understand what I am getting at? I may just be over analyzing these situations and my friends really don't care that I don't drink anymore and that they would strongly support my desire to quit. Any thoughts?

Yes, I'd say you were overanalyzing it. Most people don't care that much about the drinking habits of others... unless maybe they have a bit of doubt about their own drinking habits.

Anyone asks me, no thanks, I don't drink. If they press the issue I just say, no thanks, I don't drink. Eventually they'll quit asking.:)

I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Your friends will most likely support you (if they're the kind of friends you want to have), but I don't think you need to make a big announcement, especially since your friendships don't revolve around drinking.

This freaked me out too when I first quit 7 months ago. At first it felt weird but I finally realized nobody really cared and the one or two people that it bothered have their own drinking issues. I would not make a big deal of it- just tell them your drinking days are over- it worked for me or has thus far. Good Luck

a few of my friends (real friends) were big drinkers too, but they all supported my decision - more than one of them told me they thought I would end up dead.

Some people didn't support - mostly the drinking buddies - and I had to walk away.

They may not have realised what was at stake - but we do.

I think low key is probably the best way, but you know your friends. I think it's best not to walk into anything where you'd be 'expected' to drink.

Hold your head high - you've simply recognised alcohol and you have a problematic relationship - you're making a positive lifestyle change :)

D

Thanks for all of the replies! This seems to only be a problem within the first few months. It must be nice to have many months or years under your belt. One day at time.

One day at a time you will get months/years under your belt.:) I got mine a day at a time and I'm coming up on two years.:)

I recently had dinner with old friends who I hadn't seen since getting sober 16 months ago. When they came to order drinks and I ordered an Arnold Palmer there was some surprise. And then some jokes and then dinner. No big deal.

That's pretty much been par for the course with my friends.

Yep, I was worried about this too. I have been in several situations where I had to say no to a drink with my friends/family and I just did it the low key way of simply saying no thanks. Some questioned why and I said just not drinking anymore or said that I'm not drinking anymore to be healthier. I definitely realized quickly that most don't think it's a big deal at all.

My friends weren't just drinking buddies... We do stuff...

It was awkward as hell at first. I told only my closest friends, and it help the awkwardness a good bit. Some I didn't tell... If they seemed to be feeling awkward, I gave them as much information as they needed to feel more at ease.

It's fine now, we still do stuff together. It gets better. :)

The people how don't mind matter. I have been surprised by how many people actually do not drink much, and how little they care about what I am doing.