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Frosty Hope

Old 11-22-2011, 08:29 AM
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Frosty Hope

Hello Friends,

I am here to break free of the frozen state I have been trapped in. I've struggled for years with an alcohol addiction. In the past I woven a web of confusion. I've kept my audience confused by my issue as I would weave in and out of using alcohol. However, I took it to a new level when I committed to drink each day. I found a new way to play the game. I started to hide the bottles. At first I tried to "control" my addiction. I woke up each day like the morning dew on the grass.... slightly hung over but by mid moring I was good to go again. However, over time the addiction controlled me. I'm now frozen in a state of helplessness. I know I need to find hope and build on it to break free of this state. That is why I am here today. I believe I have found hope by coming to this website. Sharing my thoughts with you today is giving me this first opportunity to break through my world of frost. This small task is a success that has given me hope....the hope that I can make it through day 1.

Thanks for being here!
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Old 11-22-2011, 08:33 AM
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Welcome to SR oh chilly one. The sun of a new day always melts the frost away, just treat every day like it is new. Spend the day looking around, reading stories of success, the hope alone is a powerful motivator. I like your writing style, and look forward to more post from you. Keep coming back.


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Old 11-22-2011, 08:48 AM
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At first when I read "frozen state" I kind of chuckled and was going to ask you if you're living in Wisconsin (my former state).

I too would hide bottles and cans of beer, except they were empty. I was hiding them from view so people wouldn't notice how much I've been drinking. Recyclables came every two weeks and I would have about a bag in a half full of just bottles and cans of beer. A few days before I quit alcohol I looked on the floor beside my desk where I kept the empties and I had a stack of about 3 high and about 10 long, so I fit roughly 20-30 empty cans of beer beside my desk before I'd get enough energy to put them in a blue bag about 20 feet away.

When you shame and guilt yourself over every drink and every bottle of alcohol that you have, you become miserable and feel completely helpless. You'll lie to people to try to make yourself feel like you're not an alcoholic. "I'll only have 2 beers, I can handle it".. The next morning you wake up on your floor, not remembering what happened the night before - That must of been a great night! Having a great night involves throwing up, headaches, nausea, grouchy.... right?

Keep your head UP and look at your future, it may seem dreary and dark and horrible at this minute, but trust me, I was there and today I feel absolutely great. Go outside and start exercising, do projects that you've put off, go somewhere or do something you enjoy - Life is too short to be holed up and feeling like you're worthless.

Your mood WILL improve, waking up WILL feel good, and most importantly you'll feel good about your decision to quit.. It's YOUR decision, be proud that you made one of the best decisions of your life.

You're not homeless, you have access to the internet, you can move around and are not bed ridden.. There are lots of positives in life that we don't realize until we are unable to do them, Cedarfrost.

Long post, I wasn't expecting that but I hope it helps .
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Old 11-22-2011, 10:29 AM
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Thanks for sharing and the advice.
I look forward to tomorrow......I have to stop and think. I can't remember the last time I said that. Usually, I say, I can't wait until I can go to bed and can finally get some rest. However, I usually wake up unrested because my body is exhausted by the internal battle of intoxication. It's so mind boggling. Why do I do it? Why do I send my body into the ring to fight, day after day, loss after loss? My body is whining to be taken out of the ring. The internal and external signs are evident. And yet my mind ignores the present state I'm in and plans and plots the next match. Keeping busy is a great suggestion. I need to redirect my thought process. I think I'll stop procrastinating and dig out those Thanksgiving decorations tonight.
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Old 11-22-2011, 11:06 AM
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I think I'll stop procrastinating and dig out those Thanksgiving decorations tonight.
There you go!

Great mindset! Being positive is the first step of a successful recovery process.
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Old 11-22-2011, 01:10 PM
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welcome cedarfrost

I felt paralysed for years too...coming here and reaching out really helped me to move forward...I know you'll find a lot of support here too

Good to have you with us

D
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