How long does it take to become an alcoholic?
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
While I certainly had drinking modeled to me by my father, I didn't turn to alcohol to escape anything, certainly not at first. I turned to alcohol because my friends did, because it was fun, because there were parties to go to where the cool kids were, because I was fifteen and had an older brother who had his friends over to drink, etc. IE, I started drinking to fit in.
But that was in the teen years. As I got older I kept drinking not to fit in but because it kept on being fun, and because I hated even the hint of boredom.
It was fun for nearly two decades. Then it wasn't. Then I felt like it was depressing and making me depressed and that I'd spent the better part of two decades drinking, and as I looked forward to the second half of my life I wanted it to be different.
For me, the maladaption of alcoholism came very late. Was I an angry young man? Yeah, for a while. But I matured out of that and let my grievances against the world go... even while still drinking. I kept drinking out of habit, not anger.
So, to each his own. There's a million roads to this same place, and ... if not quite a million roads out, there's several dozen. Some of those roads involve accepting the term alcoholic, some of those roads involve actively rejecting that term. I tend to deflect and not use the term alcoholic for many of the reasons you describe... but if using the term helps others stay sober, more power to them.
But that was in the teen years. As I got older I kept drinking not to fit in but because it kept on being fun, and because I hated even the hint of boredom.
It was fun for nearly two decades. Then it wasn't. Then I felt like it was depressing and making me depressed and that I'd spent the better part of two decades drinking, and as I looked forward to the second half of my life I wanted it to be different.
For me, the maladaption of alcoholism came very late. Was I an angry young man? Yeah, for a while. But I matured out of that and let my grievances against the world go... even while still drinking. I kept drinking out of habit, not anger.
So, to each his own. There's a million roads to this same place, and ... if not quite a million roads out, there's several dozen. Some of those roads involve accepting the term alcoholic, some of those roads involve actively rejecting that term. I tend to deflect and not use the term alcoholic for many of the reasons you describe... but if using the term helps others stay sober, more power to them.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 163
I drank for a lot of reasons too, not just to get back at my parents. Alcohol was always a double edged sword. One blade would make me feel better and the other blade would make me feel humiliation. I think psychologically the humiliation was actually part of my mental homeostasis, so it felt normal for me to make myself look bad in public.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posts: 645
I think we can get caught up in labels. Is drinking a problem for you? Does it cause problems in your life -- legal, financial, social, professional, physical health, etc.? If it does, then don't drink. If you can't not drink (i.e., stop and stay stopped), then find a recovery method that helps you achieve that goal. It really doesn't matter whether I think someone else has a problem with alcohol or not. If that person says it is a problem for them, then I believe them. Someone in their teens and early 20's can have as much of a problem as nearly twice their age. Don't believe me? Read around sober recovery. There is no need to publicly announce one's issues with drinking. That is a personal choice each of us make. Personally, I carefully guard my anonymity. It really isn't anyone's business. If someone else chooses to tell friends, family, and acquaintances, that is a choice they make. It is not for me to judge. Susan Lauren
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: London, The UK
Posts: 104
well....I just turned 22.
And if perpetual binge drinking, alone, and passing out every 5 hours, for days/weeks upon an end does not make me an alcoholic, if hiding my supplies and lying to/manipulating everyone around me does not make me an alcoholic, if going through severe physical withdrawal does not make me an alcoholic....I'm surely a very special case of a normal drinker, aren't I?
Don't get me wrong, it's not some sort of a competition. Even my therapists are surprised by the progression of my alcoholism...but it is what it is. Not only you can be an alcoholic in your twenties, you can be an absolutely POWERLESS, (close-to)last stage alcoholic too.
And if perpetual binge drinking, alone, and passing out every 5 hours, for days/weeks upon an end does not make me an alcoholic, if hiding my supplies and lying to/manipulating everyone around me does not make me an alcoholic, if going through severe physical withdrawal does not make me an alcoholic....I'm surely a very special case of a normal drinker, aren't I?
Don't get me wrong, it's not some sort of a competition. Even my therapists are surprised by the progression of my alcoholism...but it is what it is. Not only you can be an alcoholic in your twenties, you can be an absolutely POWERLESS, (close-to)last stage alcoholic too.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 22
I didn't start heavy/dysfunctional drinking until I hit my 30s. My life didn't end up the way I had dreamed so I hit the bottle to make it all better. I only drank for 4.5 years but will have to spent the rest of my life knowing this side of addiction. I often wonder what classifies one as an alcoholic because it was never suppose to be me. But here I am.
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
I think it is funny all the references to Boones Farm, I think I agree. It was Strawberry Hill and I too drank differently than my friends! I think I was an alcoholic by 17 or so. Even though I did not drink every day, I never drank until buzzed, only wasted.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Roxboro, NC
Posts: 544
Originally Posted by cuyootoo 
For me, though, I can say that I wanted to drink myself into oblivion because I was mad at my parents. I was acting out against myself to hurt them. That was when I was a teenager. Then when I was an adult I wanted to drink myself into oblivion because I was mad at my wife. I was always hurting myself to try to show others how they were hurting me.
I would hurt myself all the time by drinking. The end result was injury to myself physically, emotionally, occupationally, psychologically. I tend to believe that my self destructive attitude is more of a root cause. And for me, I am not really chasing my tail. Rather, I am expressing some things that I have been thinking about for a long time.
Just cutting out the drinking, while continuing with the self destructive and self hating attitudes won't let me grow as much as I can. My parents taught me how to hate myself and mistreat myself. My stepfather taught me what a mess up I was by his constant insults and name calling and other physical abuse. My mother taught me to mistreat myself through her role modeling. My mom let my stepdad mistreat her all the time. My mom would always put herself last. She would always take the leftovers. So many of us so called "alcoholics" are really first and foremost victims of abuse, just consider myself, or Dominica, or even yourself for example.
One realization that was really freeing for me was when I read a psychoanalytical book that suggested that as adults we are living out what our parents told us what we were through their words and ACTIONS. It helped me a lot to realize that I was just living out my parents expectations.
I have a friend that always tells his perspective employer that he is a recovering alcoholic during his interviews. He never gets the job. I wonder why ??? If he would characterize himself in a better way then he would probably have a job already. And yes, he was a victim of abuse too.
I don't think it's really worthwhile to label oneself a victim either, but it is important to process the truth. That's why I don't think a person has to constantly call themselves an alcoholic in public all the time ei. "My names cuyootoo and I am an alcoholic" I think a better way to publicly introduce oneself on a regular basis would be "My name is cuyootoo and I am worth taking care of" or something like that.
Most people in aa introduce themselves in a negative way to people first and foremost as an alcoholic, especially on a regular basis in public. I think that's psychologically harmful. Furthermore, the reason I think they are publicly humiliating themselves on a constant basis is because the have a low self esteem and feel comfortable playing the role of an "alcoholic" in recovery or not. I say they feel comfortable hurting their reputation on a constant basis, not because it feels good for them, but because it feels normal for them to mistreat themselves.
I would hurt myself all the time by drinking. The end result was injury to myself physically, emotionally, occupationally, psychologically. I tend to believe that my self destructive attitude is more of a root cause. And for me, I am not really chasing my tail. Rather, I am expressing some things that I have been thinking about for a long time.
Just cutting out the drinking, while continuing with the self destructive and self hating attitudes won't let me grow as much as I can. My parents taught me how to hate myself and mistreat myself. My stepfather taught me what a mess up I was by his constant insults and name calling and other physical abuse. My mother taught me to mistreat myself through her role modeling. My mom let my stepdad mistreat her all the time. My mom would always put herself last. She would always take the leftovers. So many of us so called "alcoholics" are really first and foremost victims of abuse, just consider myself, or Dominica, or even yourself for example.
One realization that was really freeing for me was when I read a psychoanalytical book that suggested that as adults we are living out what our parents told us what we were through their words and ACTIONS. It helped me a lot to realize that I was just living out my parents expectations.
I have a friend that always tells his perspective employer that he is a recovering alcoholic during his interviews. He never gets the job. I wonder why ??? If he would characterize himself in a better way then he would probably have a job already. And yes, he was a victim of abuse too.
I don't think it's really worthwhile to label oneself a victim either, but it is important to process the truth. That's why I don't think a person has to constantly call themselves an alcoholic in public all the time ei. "My names cuyootoo and I am an alcoholic" I think a better way to publicly introduce oneself on a regular basis would be "My name is cuyootoo and I am worth taking care of" or something like that.
Most people in aa introduce themselves in a negative way to people first and foremost as an alcoholic, especially on a regular basis in public. I think that's psychologically harmful. Furthermore, the reason I think they are publicly humiliating themselves on a constant basis is because the have a low self esteem and feel comfortable playing the role of an "alcoholic" in recovery or not. I say they feel comfortable hurting their reputation on a constant basis, not because it feels good for them, but because it feels normal for them to mistreat themselves.
I never introduce myself to anyone as an alcoholic outside of AA. When I meet someone new I don't tag myself with my defects. I introduce myself as Mike.
Often times I don't introduce myself in an AA meeting as an alcoholic. I will say "Hi, I'm Mike and I'm powerless over alcohol." or "I'm Mike and I'm a grateful alcoholic."
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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Originally Posted by cuyootoo
I read in a scientific book that it takes at least 20 years of drinking to become an alcoholic. I was kind of skeptical when I first read that, but whenever I hear someone in their early 20's say their name and that they are an alcoholic I always kind of laugh to myself because I know the roller coaster ride for them has really just begun.
I mean my hope for them is that they do recover early, for their sake, but a lot of the youngsters I have met that say they are an alcoholic just haven't really deteriorated enough to really even be an alcoholic. I am probably wrong about this. But I don't even like to call myself an alcoholic, I think that the label "alcoholic" is too much of a stereotype and doesn't really do much to describe the true person.
I mean my hope for them is that they do recover early, for their sake, but a lot of the youngsters I have met that say they are an alcoholic just haven't really deteriorated enough to really even be an alcoholic. I am probably wrong about this. But I don't even like to call myself an alcoholic, I think that the label "alcoholic" is too much of a stereotype and doesn't really do much to describe the true person.
t be logically correct. If it took me 20 years from now to become a so called alcoholic, I wouldnt make those 20 years the way I was drinking. I wasn't drinking daily up till 3 months ago but i know deep down event hough im 27 that I am indeed an alcoholic, stereotyping an alcoholic really means what people see an alcoholic visually, a bum living on the street with a dirty trench coat long hair and beard and gloves with no fingers and a paper bag covered bottle walking around with it all the time. that stereotyping an alcoholic I believe alot of people don't consider themselves an alcoholic and do perceive that description I made as a true alcoholic person not a good with a good paying job in a suit and tie lol. Just my thought on the matter. im not trying to start a debate, just thinking that young people CAN be an alcoholic at a young age it's not hard I know it only took me 5 years to reach alcoholic portions.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: London, The UK
Posts: 104
Actually, I just remembered something. I was having a conversation with my ex boyfriend during which he was trying to belittle my addiction by saying that according to Charles Bukowski no one could classify themselves as an alcoholic without having at least 20 years of experience with substance abuse.
What BS....
If I had decided to continue with substance abuse, I am sure I would have never had the chance to fully test out this theory simply because I would have died before reaching 20 years of experience.
What BS....
If I had decided to continue with substance abuse, I am sure I would have never had the chance to fully test out this theory simply because I would have died before reaching 20 years of experience.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 184
"but a lot of the youngsters I have met that say they are an alcoholic just haven't really deteriorated enough to really even be an alcoholic."
Deteriorated Enough?
I'm 25 and suffer from what I gathered was alcoholism. Over the passed five or six years I've thought about booze once every five minutes for at least two minutes. I have been in positions where I've almost lost jobs, I have lost relationships, I've severed ties with the family, and drank in the morning just to stop the shakes.
From the minute that I get up, (and this has recently subsided) I think about where, what, and when I will drink that very day. Sometimes I don't even wait to think about it, I just do it...
I don't know what the exact definition of an "alcoholic" is, but I'm scared to NOT admit that I am one, in that I'm scared it will continue to ruin the path that I've recently discovered for myself.
Deteriorated Enough?
I'm 25 and suffer from what I gathered was alcoholism. Over the passed five or six years I've thought about booze once every five minutes for at least two minutes. I have been in positions where I've almost lost jobs, I have lost relationships, I've severed ties with the family, and drank in the morning just to stop the shakes.
From the minute that I get up, (and this has recently subsided) I think about where, what, and when I will drink that very day. Sometimes I don't even wait to think about it, I just do it...
I don't know what the exact definition of an "alcoholic" is, but I'm scared to NOT admit that I am one, in that I'm scared it will continue to ruin the path that I've recently discovered for myself.
capra laeviculus
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: German Village, OH
Posts: 3,427
It was instant for me.
I had had little sips of alcohol all my life -- since I was a toddler. But I always hated it.
But that first time I got *drunk* it was like "where have you been all my life?!?"
I recognized that I had become the bottle's bitch within a few days. I knew at a deep level that it was a problem, but I was not willing to accept it.
I did accept it within a year, though, and committed to spending a full year sober in 1997 or so.
I was counting the days for that year to be over, and when the day came I hit the bottle like it had never been gone.
-Goat
I had had little sips of alcohol all my life -- since I was a toddler. But I always hated it.
But that first time I got *drunk* it was like "where have you been all my life?!?"
I recognized that I had become the bottle's bitch within a few days. I knew at a deep level that it was a problem, but I was not willing to accept it.
I did accept it within a year, though, and committed to spending a full year sober in 1997 or so.
I was counting the days for that year to be over, and when the day came I hit the bottle like it had never been gone.
-Goat
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
Originally Posted by TheOjibway84
alright.... well for someone to call themselves an alcoholic at a young age is good reason. When drinking is uncontrolled and out of hand and all you want to do is drink, get hungover still pick up even more to drink that is considered a problem. I started drinking when I was 21 thats when I started abusing alcohol. Like i read with some responders.... I was a hardcore binge drinker, enough wasn't enough and I'd drink till 1) Bar closed 2) Didn't have enough money to buy more or 3) simply pass out drunk and wake up the next morning on my friends floors. It wasn't until recently had I started missing work due to being drunk and I soon stopped caring about the job but when common sense kicked in when I finally didn't ffeel good enough to drink and knew it was going to make me crash dead I smartened up. They say alcoholism can affect any age, there is no age limit to somone being an alcoholic, i've sure heard my share of horror stories of people who were drinking from age 10 or younger or even 12 years of age and thats all they knew how to do for fun was get drunk. But that scientific book can
t be logically correct. If it took me 20 years from now to become a so called alcoholic, I wouldnt make those 20 years the way I was drinking. I wasn't drinking daily up till 3 months ago but i know deep down event hough im 27 that I am indeed an alcoholic, stereotyping an alcoholic really means what people see an alcoholic visually, a bum living on the street with a dirty trench coat long hair and beard and gloves with no fingers and a paper bag covered bottle walking around with it all the time. thats stereotyping an alcoholic, I believe alot of people don't consider themselves an alcoholic and do perceive that description I made as a true alcoholic, not a person with a good paying job in a suit and tie lol. Just my thought on the matter. im not trying to start a debate, just thinking that young people CAN be an alcoholic at a young age it's not hard I know it only took me 5 years to reach alcoholic portions.
t be logically correct. If it took me 20 years from now to become a so called alcoholic, I wouldnt make those 20 years the way I was drinking. I wasn't drinking daily up till 3 months ago but i know deep down event hough im 27 that I am indeed an alcoholic, stereotyping an alcoholic really means what people see an alcoholic visually, a bum living on the street with a dirty trench coat long hair and beard and gloves with no fingers and a paper bag covered bottle walking around with it all the time. thats stereotyping an alcoholic, I believe alot of people don't consider themselves an alcoholic and do perceive that description I made as a true alcoholic, not a person with a good paying job in a suit and tie lol. Just my thought on the matter. im not trying to start a debate, just thinking that young people CAN be an alcoholic at a young age it's not hard I know it only took me 5 years to reach alcoholic portions.
re read my post lol. I was proof reading and saw I did some typing errors lol. I redid the portion on my description of someone who believes not to be an alcoholic because hes on the street with nothing and poor and drunk all the time. good day folks
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 189
Sorry. In response to Goat. I was starting to get those exact feelings myself. and what Linz said hit the mark. All I cared about was when I was going to have my next drink where and the other one was if I had enough to get drunk drunk. I'm coming close to being 3 months sober next week and I'm feeling very proud but I don't ge ttoo ahead of myself because this isn't my first time trying to sober up, i've been cracking at it for 3 years now. I feel I just wasn't ready to give it up yet. But now I am because I have been faced with the reality of my drinking state where as I didn't want to work for 4 days straight because I was getting drunk 4 days straight. I would make an excuse why I was gone and not coming, I even had it in my head to say something ad happened in my family but heck the workplace has my parents number and even called it the time when I was sent to the hospital after a drunken fight with an ex friend and couldn't make work, they didn't know my cell phone number and called my home and man was I in trouble lol. Im just so happy I dont have to deal with that trash of a life right now. I am focused on one day at a time and for this time around I feel different because I was holding onto a thread when I was close losing a good life that I was given. The temptation where I was living on my own was high... VERY high had no fighting chance, which is why im grateful to be back home in the comfort of my parents home... my home. thanks for reading friends hope all is well
Sober...Finally.
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Galveston TX
Posts: 574
By the time I was 19 I was drinking a full bottle of Jose Cuervo Gold a night. Several years later I switched to beer. I am 25 years old now, and I can drink a 24 case of budweiser without fliching. Age is definitely not a factor. My name is Dominica and I am, without a doubt, an alcoholic.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: « USA » Recovered with AVRT (Rational Recovery) ___________
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I remember very early into my drinking career, reading that it took on average about ten years to become "an alcoholic" and that only 10% of the population was susceptible. At the time, I thought "That's Great! That means there's a 90% chance you aren't susceptible, and it means you still have a long time to quit if things ever do get bad !"
Not surprisingly, I was still at it well past that ten year mark...
Not surprisingly, I was still at it well past that ten year mark...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 163
"Source ?"
It was just one of those books I found in the library. According to the definition you all are using I could have qualified as an alcoholic the very first time I drank. ie, stole the liquor from my friends grandfathers liquor cabinet, drank to the point of being smashed, lied about drinking, messed up my life etc etc etc... I started to identify with the term alcoholic about 6 years ago, 18 years after that first binge when I was 13. But the progression over these past 6 years has been profound, so profound that in comparison I wasn't an alcoholic even 6 years ago. I learned how to drink by going to aa meethings...
I like to think that now that I have stopped drinking I am cured of my alcoholism and I don't like to identify myself that way anymore. I am only really powerless over alcohol if I drink. At this point, I would rather try meth or heroin then go back to drinking... My alcohol counselors even agree, alcohol is harder on the body than heroin.
I just don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking of myself as an alcoholic.
It was just one of those books I found in the library. According to the definition you all are using I could have qualified as an alcoholic the very first time I drank. ie, stole the liquor from my friends grandfathers liquor cabinet, drank to the point of being smashed, lied about drinking, messed up my life etc etc etc... I started to identify with the term alcoholic about 6 years ago, 18 years after that first binge when I was 13. But the progression over these past 6 years has been profound, so profound that in comparison I wasn't an alcoholic even 6 years ago. I learned how to drink by going to aa meethings...
I like to think that now that I have stopped drinking I am cured of my alcoholism and I don't like to identify myself that way anymore. I am only really powerless over alcohol if I drink. At this point, I would rather try meth or heroin then go back to drinking... My alcohol counselors even agree, alcohol is harder on the body than heroin.
I just don't want to spend the rest of my life thinking of myself as an alcoholic.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: CT
Posts: 73
I've just never heard the 20 years thing and I was wondering where it came from/what kind of research it's based on. Like, at what point do unhealthy drinking habits reach a critical mass at which they become full blown alcoholism and why would it take at least 20 years to get to that point?
It's not really something I've thought about that much until this thread. I've been a binge drinker since I was 13 and I'm 30 now. I've always pretty much known my drinking habit was abusive, but it wasn't until this year that I used the word alcoholic for myself, although if I had chosen to use that word at any point in my drinking career I would have considered it accurate.
It's not my core ID at all, it's just a huge focus in my life right now because I'm really early in recovery and I know how easy it could be for me to let it conveniently slip my mind that it's a real problem, so I use the word alcoholic to remind myself why it's important for me to abstain with no exceptions.
It's not really something I've thought about that much until this thread. I've been a binge drinker since I was 13 and I'm 30 now. I've always pretty much known my drinking habit was abusive, but it wasn't until this year that I used the word alcoholic for myself, although if I had chosen to use that word at any point in my drinking career I would have considered it accurate.
It's not my core ID at all, it's just a huge focus in my life right now because I'm really early in recovery and I know how easy it could be for me to let it conveniently slip my mind that it's a real problem, so I use the word alcoholic to remind myself why it's important for me to abstain with no exceptions.
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