wantscontrol

Proud of myself but scared and frustrated. I am having difficulty with the fact that I truly may NEVER be able to pick up a drink again. I wish that I had control like others do. <-- this is how i feel.

Dee74

I had trouble with that concept too - I'd drunk for 20 years and it was central to me and my life...and to my way of thinking.

I took it a day at a time - reconfirming my desire to stay sober every day - until I found I was ready for 'forever'

it worked for me
D

kcvalentine

I'm 15 days in and feel the same way. I'm pretty sure if we stick it out, those feelings will fade. Best wishes to you and great job!!

xo,
kc

gr8ful42day

ventura47

Im just 10 days sober and one thing I keep reminding myself is that Alcohol has had a long enough run, about thirty years. It's time to do something different. Thinking about maybe never drinking again can mess with your head this early in sobriety. I almost caved today, but I bore it and stayed strong. This day was good and I am proud of myself. You should be too and dont think too much.

CaiHong

Hi Wantscontrol,

Good for you on day 5. The longer I remain sober (4 months ) the more I don't want to drink. Last week I had strong cravings, mood swings but I must not pick up a drink whatever is happening around me or to me.
I am beginning to reap the rewards, I feel generally more peaceful. I feel more detached from my "problems".

You gave up drinking for a reason/reasons just remember why you gave up drinking.

All the best and welcome to the forum
CaiHong

CarolD

Hi to all of our newly sober members...

Yes! you too can win over alcohol...heading into a sober healthy future is
so beneficial any way you cut it...

Glad you are here with us Forward is the correct direction

TodayImFree

I felt the same way for quite some time and as a result putting days of sobriety together was difficult. After many attempts at controlled drinking (never the case) i surrendered.

Alcohol was always there for me, i thought it was my best friend. It was there when i was nervous,insecure,confused,happy,sad,glad,when i got married,had children,got promoted and it was also there when i almost lost my family,my daughter(through attempted suicide),my job,my ability to choose,and myself.

I have been fortunate enough to get a daily reprieve from alcohol just for today, those just for today's have accumulated to 5 months. Now I am able to look back and see I never had control over my drinking and that which I thought was my friend was my disease taking over. When I get the urge to drink I reach out for help and replay in my mind where it had taken me.

Today, without alcohol I have a new appreciation for life,people,and all the little things that come with it. Best of Luck and remember:Pumpkinwave you are never alone.

SSIL75

The best analogy I have at 7:30 in the morning is that your feeling that life will suck without alcohol is like someone reluctant to tackle their paranoia because everyone is out to get them

IME feeling the way you do it s SYMPTOM of your alcoholism. It's not real.

Reminding myself of that in early sobriety kept me sober. Hope it helps you, too.

There is no 'may'! You really can't pick up a drink again. And that's a wonderful, liberating thing!

shanman422

Congrats on 5 days!! Todays is 8 for me

I have tried several times at staying sober, sobriety once lasting over a year. I, like you struggled with the thought of "never" being able to drink again. I always hear 1 day at a time... but I don't think I really worked that in my prior attempts at staying sober. I definitely did this past weekend and was so glad that I did. I reminded myself several times at the wedding that I was at on Saturday... "Just get through tonight", tomorrow will be a new day and hopefully the urge will not be as strong. Thankfully, Sunday I woke up and felt so good about getting through another day successfully!

Your hear for a reason... keep reading and posting!

sugarbear1

Just for today, don't drink. Stay in every second of today. Pick up a book for 20 minutes, exercise for 20, j journal for 20, clean for 20, point being-balance your days & create new habits!

Congrats on your time!

eJoshua

It DOES get easier.

The thoughts were obsessive at first, but the more time I have sober the less attractive drinking sounds to me. Now I know that if I were to drink again I would feel nothing but overwhelming shame and regret, I can't even imagine that it would be fun at all.

The first 90 were the hardest for me. I'll be at 6 months next week and things are great!

Stick it out it's totally worth it.

AnotherAlcoholi

going on day 6. i hope i can beat this

Dee74

Welcome to SR AnotherAlcoholic
Good to have you here - feel free to start your own thread if you like

D

FenwayFaithful

I'm on Day 5 too and I don't think my alcoholic brain has fully given up that idea. I think I'm still kind of stuck on Step 1 and admitting I'm POWERLESS over alcohol. I think maybe that's one of the toughest steps to take because we want to think like oh well I'm not powerless because I didn't drink for 5 days but as soon as you pick that drink back up everything spirals out of control but sometimes you can have selective memory...I find that to have been a very common them in the times I've broken my sober time.
For now every time I crave I run or I read a book or I go to a meeting or call a friend but it gets kind of frustrating I don't always want to be distracting myself but I think when you're as early into sobriety as we are that's really all you can do.
Hopefully someday we will love being sober so much more that those cravings are few and far between and we don't drink because we truly WANT to be sober...not because we want to not drink...if that makes sense..at all...it probably doesn't it's too late here in Mass
This was like the least helpful post ever but it 4 AM and I am really tired & I just wanted you to know you're 100 percent not alone and I feel the same exact way. It's really really hard to accept that.

johnthediver

keep with it wantscontrol, i'm on day 5 too, i know exactly how your feeling.