Spouse and freinds drinking
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Northern, California
Posts: 4
Spouse and freinds drinking
Ever since I chose to stop drinking (two weeks tmrw) I have been bombarded daily with either friends or my spouse drinking. I believe this is my problem not theirs. We have had previous commitments which I did not want to cancel (I couldn't cancel the super bowl
I did fine, but it was tough. I quit smoking cigarettes in October, seems like I knew more on what to expect. My mood swings are CRAZY..... I dont want to go on anti- depressants I have family members COMPLETELY addicted to them, I don't want to change one addiction for another. I play golf 1 - 2 times during the week and at least once on the weekend, and one day I am fine with not drinking and being around people who are, and the next I want to scream and run for a beer. I can feel the anxiety in my chest sometimes, and it scares me....because I really did not think I had that big of a problem, I was a binge drinker, and did not drink daily.....but boy was I wrong, it is more of an addiction than I thought. I knew after the first few days that this was going to be much more difficult than I had anticipated. the weather has been beautiful here, so that makes it even tougher.... Sunshine, golf, being outdoors, BBQ,........I wonder if going back to my binge drinking is easier than going through this anxiety...... How stupid does that sound....I know it is not, I am just confused! I dont want to feel like this forever, I want to enjoy life without alcohol, I guess I just don't know how. This is all so new to me, cigarettes was bad enough, I stopped drinking, because I found I was drinking more than I ever had since I had quit smoking in October and when I drank I would want to smoke (I didnt, but I would crave bad) I also was getting REALLY angry when I would drink, not every time, but more often than ever before..... it was like a light switch, I would be fine one minute and be crazy mad the next over the most ridiculous things (if I remembered)...... Anyone feel this way??????????
I did fine, but it was tough. I quit smoking cigarettes in October, seems like I knew more on what to expect. My mood swings are CRAZY..... I dont want to go on anti- depressants I have family members COMPLETELY addicted to them, I don't want to change one addiction for another. I play golf 1 - 2 times during the week and at least once on the weekend, and one day I am fine with not drinking and being around people who are, and the next I want to scream and run for a beer. I can feel the anxiety in my chest sometimes, and it scares me....because I really did not think I had that big of a problem, I was a binge drinker, and did not drink daily.....but boy was I wrong, it is more of an addiction than I thought. I knew after the first few days that this was going to be much more difficult than I had anticipated. the weather has been beautiful here, so that makes it even tougher.... Sunshine, golf, being outdoors, BBQ,........I wonder if going back to my binge drinking is easier than going through this anxiety...... How stupid does that sound....I know it is not, I am just confused! I dont want to feel like this forever, I want to enjoy life without alcohol, I guess I just don't know how. This is all so new to me, cigarettes was bad enough, I stopped drinking, because I found I was drinking more than I ever had since I had quit smoking in October and when I drank I would want to smoke (I didnt, but I would crave bad) I also was getting REALLY angry when I would drink, not every time, but more often than ever before..... it was like a light switch, I would be fine one minute and be crazy mad the next over the most ridiculous things (if I remembered)...... Anyone feel this way??????????
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Congratulations on two weeks of sobriety! Good for you!
Of course, mood swings are normal at this point, so be patient with yourself.
One thing I would ask you, is what have you changed in your life besides stopping drinking? I ask this because I believe stopping drinking is the beginning and that's when the real work begins. I also have anxiety/depression issues and it does take a lot of work. I don't take medication for anxiety but have learned some good ways to deal with it. I do however, take antidepressants and I have for close to 11 years, which was when I stopped drinking. I have stopped them twice in that time and have no addiction to them whatsoever. The only reaction I have is that after about a week or so, I begin to get that feeling of wanting to crawl back under the covers and stay there forever. So, for me, antidepressants level the playing field.
Of course, mood swings are normal at this point, so be patient with yourself.
One thing I would ask you, is what have you changed in your life besides stopping drinking? I ask this because I believe stopping drinking is the beginning and that's when the real work begins. I also have anxiety/depression issues and it does take a lot of work. I don't take medication for anxiety but have learned some good ways to deal with it. I do however, take antidepressants and I have for close to 11 years, which was when I stopped drinking. I have stopped them twice in that time and have no addiction to them whatsoever. The only reaction I have is that after about a week or so, I begin to get that feeling of wanting to crawl back under the covers and stay there forever. So, for me, antidepressants level the playing field.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,369
Hi HDclear
My life used to revolve around alcohol so even after I stopped drinking I was still bombarded like you are with drinking and drinking opportunities.
Many times I did give up & return to the old life...only to find myself back at the same miserable place I was when I made the decision to quit the last time.
so...I had to change my life - for me that meant letting some people know I was changing my life and why...and it meant changing my social life and even cutting some unsupportive people out of my life.
They were tough choices but staying sober was that important to me.
Then once I got the not drinking down I could look at being happy...
If you're worried about your mood swings and your anxiety please see your doctor - you don't have to follow his or her advice but it might be good to get their opinion.
D
My life used to revolve around alcohol so even after I stopped drinking I was still bombarded like you are with drinking and drinking opportunities.
Many times I did give up & return to the old life...only to find myself back at the same miserable place I was when I made the decision to quit the last time.
so...I had to change my life - for me that meant letting some people know I was changing my life and why...and it meant changing my social life and even cutting some unsupportive people out of my life.
They were tough choices but staying sober was that important to me.
Then once I got the not drinking down I could look at being happy...
If you're worried about your mood swings and your anxiety please see your doctor - you don't have to follow his or her advice but it might be good to get their opinion.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Northern, California
Posts: 4
Thank you, Anna and Dee74..... I think I will see my doctor, just another TOUGH person to admit my addiction to, It makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed, until I feel better that I did. I will get through this I will stick around here often. Thanks for your support.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 279
Hi HDclear. You have gotten good advice so far. You are not alone, I know exactly how you feel. Even after discussing with my spouse my intentions to quit, he continued to drink in front of me (not like I would expect him to change his behavior for me, but here in the beginning it would be nice to have the most important person in my life be more supportive) and invites to do things that revolve around drinking. I think that A) you need to remove yourself from temptation for a few weeks and B) Be honest with people about your intentions to quit. I know these are two steps I need to take if I want to move further in my recovery.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Welcome to SR. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you know. You're out there trying to get sober! What an accomplishment!
Dee and Anna gave you really good advice. Just know you are in very early recovery. Be gentle with yourself...and keep coming back to SR. It really does help.
Dee and Anna gave you really good advice. Just know you are in very early recovery. Be gentle with yourself...and keep coming back to SR. It really does help.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
Hi and Welcome to SR...,
In the early stages of recovery it seems like alcohol is everywhere..everywhere you turn you notice ads,radio commercials,t.v.commercials...others drinking....its like you are being bombarded with it!! what I found that is if you just "let go" of it then those things aren't such a focus anymore...they will always be there, but it's like you just don't react to it anymore....you reach the point of acceptance.... thats not to say you have to accept others behaviour if it makes you feel uncomfortable...you can let others know what it is you need to recover...if they aren't willing to be supportive then that is something you need to look at...
Sobriety is a beautiful journey when you do the work...it offers so many wonderful gifts...I see a side of me now I never would have seen otherwise...
so, all the best to you on yours....xo
In the early stages of recovery it seems like alcohol is everywhere..everywhere you turn you notice ads,radio commercials,t.v.commercials...others drinking....its like you are being bombarded with it!! what I found that is if you just "let go" of it then those things aren't such a focus anymore...they will always be there, but it's like you just don't react to it anymore....you reach the point of acceptance.... thats not to say you have to accept others behaviour if it makes you feel uncomfortable...you can let others know what it is you need to recover...if they aren't willing to be supportive then that is something you need to look at...
Sobriety is a beautiful journey when you do the work...it offers so many wonderful gifts...I see a side of me now I never would have seen otherwise...
so, all the best to you on yours....xo
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Indiana
Posts: 706
HDclear- don't feel any anxiety about seeing your doctor. I did, and after seeing him several times on return visits and checkups I told him how ashamed I was to see him the first time about my drinking problem. He told me that this was nonsense, a family doctor seeing somebody about an alcohol addiction was as common as seeing someone coming in with a backache. Just be honest with him/her. They'll know what to do for you. Mine gave me an anti-anxiety script to help with the initial detox anxiety and withdrawl symptoms, then slowly weened me off, then switched me over to Thiamine and Niacin (Vitamin B) to help my body recover. Sugar helps with the cravings. Get a big bag of M&M's.
Zube
Zube
Zube
Zube
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 788
I felt the exact same way...mood swings, anxiety, anger, despair...and I am now almost 60 days sober and all those feelings have leveled out. It took about a month. But I did say no to lots of things, and told my husband it was hard for me when he drank...we talked about it...don't want to jinx myself but it's so much easier now...new habits, new Actions, I went to AA, too. Good luck...it will get better. Take care of yourself.
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