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Nearing 90 days, felt better at 9!

Old 12-18-2010, 06:23 PM
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Nearing 90 days, felt better at 9!

Hi all,
So im on day 88 (i think) and have only come here a few times since leaving my 'mate' behind. Excuses excuses excuses why but anyway im here now saying hi, so HI! This place is huge, I guess it will take me some time to learn my way around and see where I need to be. I read a journal entry from when I was detoxing, I was actually so positive and determined and strong. Now that its three months later I feel pretty bad. I have a short fuse, im soooo moody and emotional and im scared this is just who I actually am. Im just finding it incredibly hard at the moment. Im not scared ill drink, I cant, I wont or ill die basically but that doesnt make it much easier, it still sucks! Im sick of people giving me the 'answer' of a.a and god and a higher power and the dam big book, its really really annoying. I get it works for a lot of people and ive certainly had a go at it but life is more complicated than what I believe a book and some steps can fix. Im more complicated than that and I need more! Anyway I really hope I can get myself together soon. Im so up and down and maybe a little lonely and nothing can drown these feelings, it hurts. Im not depressed just extremely stressed I think. Kids awake from nap so best be off. Hope to get to know you all. Liz
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Old 12-18-2010, 06:28 PM
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Dee has a link to an article about PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome) and it explains some of the problems and ups and downs of recovery in the first year or so. Google PAWS and read the info. Could be why you're feeling low and blah and moody.

Glad you won't give in to the temptation to drink tho.

I found one. Here it is.

http://whatmesober.com/personal-writ...recovery/paws/
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Old 12-18-2010, 06:31 PM
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I hope it is something that will get better with a few more days. Like a passing phase..Good for you for hanging in there!!! Hope to hear more from you. Posting and reading other experiences really helps...
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Old 12-18-2010, 06:52 PM
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Hi Liz,

I wonder what changes you've made in your life, besides stopping drinking? I don't use AA, but I do work on my recovery every day and I know I had to make a lot of changes in my life in order to recover.

I hope you feel better.
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Old 12-18-2010, 07:06 PM
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Hi Liz

Could be at 90 days you might get something out of reseaching PAWs. The link I always direct folks to is here

PAWS « Digital Dharma

But, I wonder too if you've done anything besides not drinking - it's a great achievement - don't get me wrong - but I needed to do more than that.

I had a lot of underlying problems and issues I tried to deal with by drinking - not drinking made them resurface - I needed to deal with what I call my 'void' too.

For me it was using this community as a support, finding a purpose and self worth in my life again, and reconnecting with a spirituality that makes sense to me...for other people it's counselling or a recovery group like AA, or one of the many other non 12 step groups.

Here's some group links

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

I hope you get out of the doldrums soon
D
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Old 12-18-2010, 07:48 PM
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Hey liz! Congrats on 90 days!

I don't use AA....but like others I work hard on improving myself. I have a great therapist....I read self help books sometimes....and I read and post here. I find these things to be more important than not drinking actually.

Looking forward to getting to know you!
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Old 12-18-2010, 08:37 PM
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Congrats on 90 days!

The thing that saved my life was SR. Coming here and reading how others have recovered is invaluable to me.
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Old 12-19-2010, 02:53 AM
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HI there, I have to say i feel the same way. i dont feel tempted to drink but im not getting the buzz that I thought would be there either. Im sure many people will come on now posting about what you are doing to make like more exciting etc. It still is tough.
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Old 12-19-2010, 03:58 AM
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I'm around day 80 and the high of being sober has been slowly wearing off. I'm exhausted from working my program and living life. I thought things would be easier by now. But I still want to be sober, even though it's tough. I think as long as you are still working towards your goal, and still want to be sober, you're good.
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Old 12-19-2010, 01:24 PM
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Guys,

I'm in my 18th month now and I can tell you it WILL get better if your keep working your program and don't drink. It can take several months for your brain chemicals to even out and to start feeling really normal again. Some people go through a period called "the wall" at 3-4 months where you really feel down. For me, it was temporary and ended quite abruptly.

Good luck!
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Old 12-19-2010, 01:50 PM
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Hopefully it is temporary and abruptly ended for anyone that goes thru it..Thanks for sharing that ZZ! I like using my imagination to pull me back up out of a sh!tty mood.
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