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Old 04-26-2010, 11:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Trying To Stop After 30 Years Of Drinking

And that was every night of the week...

I just turned 50, and admit I'm a mess now. Up to even just two years ago, I thought I had everything under control. I was still a big, strong tough-guy, throwing 340lbs. around for reps. But not much had changed since I was young. Come home, catch a warm, fuzzing feeling, and enjoy a movie, or a record album. Today, it's the internet. Mostly, though---I drink/drank just to get some sleep. Without alcohol, I am up for days (DAZE) at a time just miserable.

I guess working-out, and popping supplements like crazy, plus eating well, made me think I could still skate along, but no longer. My body is hurting.

My mom is a nurse, and tells me it's never too late to stop. I'd like to believe that. But I just feel hopeless. A hopeless old man.

I wish everyone well, with their struggle.
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Old 04-26-2010, 11:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
same planet...different world
 
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Hello NightWolf and welcome to SR!

A home-boy from my original of the woods
I was born and raised in Marietta!
Been in Montana for almost twenty years now
but will never be anything
but 'from the south'....

Welcome to SR (again)

I hope you'll find the help and fellowship you're looking for here.

Please, when you get a chance -
go over to the alcoholism forums
and read the stickies at the top of the forum
there's TONS of information there
that you can help.

in early recovery
the book 'Under The influence'
was PIVOTAL in helping me understand
what i'd been subjecting my body to...

and just having the understanding
of what was going on
and what would have to change
really really helped me make the right choices.

I wish for you in coming here
the discovery of a little hope in your life!
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Old 04-26-2010, 11:57 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome Nightwolf have you started to think about a plan to quit? Quitting is a lot like working out... it can be hard to do & a hassle sometimes but if you stick to your program you will start to see the results you are looking for.

You found a great place for support, encouragement & understanding. Keep close & keep sharing.

All of the best,

NB
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Old 04-27-2010, 12:09 AM   #4 (permalink)
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It's not a stroll in the park, but it's more than worth it.
You will be amazed by the things that you will learn as things change.
Good luck !
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Old 04-27-2010, 01:21 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Hi nightwolf. I really feel your pain. Makes me so sad. Stick around here okay, see if we can help eachother.
How have you gotten on today?
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:36 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR, Nightwolf! I was a daily drunk for 10 years and a weekly binge drinker for the 20 years before that and I also thought it was too late to quit. Well, that was over 10 months ago and quitting was the single best thing I've ever done! It wasn't easy, but I feel like I've gotten a whole new lease on life.

You're never too old to get your life back.
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Old 04-27-2010, 04:30 AM   #7 (permalink)
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hey there nightwolf and welcome to sr.
ive been in recovery nearly 15 months,now i am 38 this year but my other half brian followed me into recovery and he is nearly 50!
it is never too late.
i could not stay stopped on my own,have you thought about a recovery plan?
i use the 12 steps of AA and my life is brand new.
i wish you well.
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Old 04-27-2010, 04:42 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Some of those supplements may be why sleep is so hard to come by. Alcoholism can do that too, with the sleep, I mean.

I'm 52... wasn't a lifter but big time cyclist as well as a lot of home exercises, skier, hiker... like that... thought at times I was invincible... stimulants helped with that, well I think they had a little to do with the alcoholism too... but that's a long story. Still do all those activities... I drank for 40 years, clean and sober now almost 20 months...

Now I don't drink or take pills, I have to watch the supplements, never did anabolics.... but now, anything that makes me jittery... I can not stand them, and, more importantly, they trigger me, like I want to drink, do something, to get the edge off... hell, coffee can do that now. So, it's all natural these days...

I still listen to a record album occasionally, I love the old vinyl and the album covers, takes me back, way back...

Welcome to SR and keep coming back... Wondering, did you just turn 50 and thought about quittin or did something happen?... oh, and stop with that "hopeless old man" bullsh1t, OK???

Mark
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Old 04-27-2010, 04:56 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Hey Nightwolf,

I'm older than you and just getting started on this quitting thing. You've found a good place for information and encouragement.

I'm too new to give you any advice, but there are people here who can and will help you. Best of luck.
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Old 04-27-2010, 05:03 AM   #10 (permalink)
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As long as you're still breathing you're not to old to quit. Staying sober has meant making a lot of changes in my mind and in my life, but living sober is worth the effort.

Welcome to SR! I hope we can help you as much as this site helped me.
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Old 04-27-2010, 05:14 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Welcome NW I totaly know how you feel I am 55 myself drinking since I was 17 and Scottish so social life revolved rouund the pub.Like you it kinda caught up with me but the alcohol spoils life dosnt make it better you will find soberiety is a great way to live I am only on day 10 but can tell you I will not go back ..................jo
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Old 04-27-2010, 06:38 AM   #12 (permalink)
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50 isn't old! So you did what you did for part of your life and now its time to spend the rest of it in a different way!

Like has been said do you have an idea of how you are going to get help to change?
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Old 04-27-2010, 07:02 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Hi Nightwolf. Hey, haven't you heard, 50 is the new 40! It's certainly not too late to start a better life and you can do it!

I'm a little older than you and have been an every day drinker my entire adult life. I hit the wall recently and said enough is enough. I don't have to go into details. I think we've all been there. But I found this SR site and after lurking for a while made a committment to myself that I wanted a better life. Through the wonderful advise and support I've received from folks here I really feel this time is different.

I'm on day 57 of sobriety. I'm working out every day and have almost reached my weight loss goal of losing 30 lbs. I feel younger and look better than I have in years.

The best feeling is that I am now actually optimistic. Looking forward to the future and new opportunities. I'd forgotten that emotion entirely. When you get it back, there's nothing like it! And it's not that far away for you either.

Congratulations on your awakening and hang in there. You'll be amazed how quickly you'll feel better. You being only 50, you have the benefit of youth!
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Old 04-27-2010, 08:07 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Your mom's right (aren't they usually? lol), it's not too late to stop and start living a better life. I too thought that I had sleep problems, and would freak out if I didn't drink before bed because I knew I wouldn't sleep. Then I'd lay there and think about the fact that I probably wouldn't sleep, which in turn kept me up night after night. Horrible! However, I found that within just a week or so of not drinking, I started REALLY sleeping, sleeping like a baby (not sure why we use that phrase, I have a 5 month old and I WISH he'd sleep as long as me lol).

I'm glad you found us, this place has been a real live saver for me, so full of information, support, and most of all non-judgemental understanding and compassion.

Welcome!!!
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Old 04-27-2010, 10:21 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Smile Thanks!

Right now, I'm just going to go cold turkey. I never have had daytime cravings. Just as the clock hits midnight. It looks like I will be listening to "Coast to Coast", till the A.M. Oh joy!

Gonna check into A.A. meetings. I really wish they had really late night ones. I tried them years ago. It didn't do much for me. Dark, dank old building, with everyone smoking, eating donuts, ands drinking coffee. Big turn-off...

Hopefully, things have changed.

Thanks for all the kindness.
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Old 04-27-2010, 10:28 AM   #16 (permalink)
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We're always the last ones to know and admit a drink kicks our ass

Admitting and accepting we have a problem is all part of the first step. After cross over the line where drinking is no longer fun or, the consequences are so severe, the lucky ones get sober. The rest, go on to being locked up or covered up by continuing their drinking.
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O - Others next
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Old 04-27-2010, 11:00 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Nightwolf, some quality advice here from some really quality people. I struck up a relationship with sobriety almost a year ago at age 39. If I can do it, you can do it. Formerbeerlover summed it up well with, "you're never too old to get your life back." So true. You have decades to live a sober, fulfilling, pedal-to-the-metal life. I work out with guys at the gym your age (and older) who out benchpress me and outrun me in marathons. You obviously have some longevity in your genes with your mum still doling out excellent advice. Listen to her! And if AA isn't for you, so be it. People on this site way smarter than me recommend it, but I've never attended a meeting. That said, I wouldn't have gotten through the first month or so of my sobriety without support from this website. Keep posting and take it all one day at a time. You can do it.
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Old 04-27-2010, 11:09 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Before i even begun to read
ur post, a thought of it's
never to late to begin came
to mind, then read what ur
mom told u.

Hi Im Sharon and Im an alcoholic.

By the grace of my HP an people
like u here in SR I havent found
it necessary to pick up a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.

For that and u I am truely grateful.

With a many one days at a time
collected to get me where I am
today, at 50ish i am still amazed
and astounded by the miracles
of what this program has given
me.

My journey continues each as to
not know what is to come next.

In the meantime, i continue to turn
my will and life over to a Power
greater than I and to the program
of steps and principles to guide
me and protect me along the way.
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8-11-90

I turn my will and life over to the care of a Power greater than I on a daily bases for guidance, care and protection.
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Old 04-27-2010, 11:11 AM   #19 (permalink)
Psalm 118:24
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightwolf View Post
Dark, dank old building, with everyone smoking, eating donuts, ands drinking coffee. Big turn-off...

Hopefully, things have changed.

Thanks for all the kindness.

the smoking has changed
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J - Jesus first
O - Others next
Y - Yourself last

John 14:6
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Old 04-27-2010, 11:18 AM   #20 (permalink)
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hey NW,

Just down on the coast from you, my cravings were about 2:05 am, since I get off work @2am. That steady late night (actually early morning drinking can be brutal over time. Since there are no meetings at that hour, SR has been a hellava lot of help . It's only been 23 days for me , but I learn alot here , along with going to some meetings.

Try to find non-smoking ones, ....that's all we have down here anymore , but it may have to do with the local no smoking laws in public places.

Good move on the cold turkey ,

Welcome to SR

there's some good folks around here ..................from all over the world , so it's a 24/7 site
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