Can an alcoholic ever drink again in moderation?
 

Hello everyone,

I'm 36 years old, and I was/am an alcoholic. The last drink I had was in August of 2007, so it's been about 2 1/2 years.

What I'd like to know is if there are any former alcoholics that have ever returned to 'casual', or 'social' drinking and been able to keep it under control?

I used to go out to bars all the time and drink, but my real problems started when I began to drink alone, and basically got drunk nearly everyday by myself at home in front of my computer listening to music, and while surfing online.

Once it got to the point that I was always drinking alone, I would rarely ever drink in a social setting anymore, unless people nearly literally dragged me out of the house.

What I'd like to know is if it would be possible for me to try to drink again in a social setting only. I know some people might say, well, I've been off the drink for over 2 years, so why even bother risking it?

Well, part of the reason is that my social life has suffered somewhat since I don't go out much, and I used to like having the feeling of a little buzz while being at a bar and talking to girls. Part of my problem is that I'm a little shy by nature, and alcohol would really help me overcome that so that I found talking to girls easier.

Are there any success stories of former alcoholics being able to try to drink again but keep it under control? For me, the beginning of the end would be the day I brought a bottle home and started to drink alone, but I think that if I only drank in social situations that I would be ok.

Any advice/stories/opinions would be greatly appreciated.

I believe that once you cross the invisible line, there is no turning back. I heard that from Betty Ford.

If I started drinking socially, I would immediately start obsessing about alcohol and I won't give myself over to alcohol again.

I think it's a bad idea. Your time could be better spent learning how to interact with people without alcohol. There are plenty of things to do that don't involve alcohol if you are looking to spice up your social life.

I had various periods of abstinence from alcohol -- I used the "marijuana maintenance" plan for a year, got pregnant with my son (and stopped smoking pot), carried almost ten months, nursed for almost a year, so about three years off booze. The day I picked back up, I drank alcoholically. With my daughter, I was abstinent for about eighteen months. Same thing. I swore off booze (but kept smoking pot and doing cocaine) for almost six years, and again, picked back up and was off to the proverbial races.

I no longer try to convince myself that I can be a social drinker.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

P.S. If the only place I socialized was my AA group, I'd have a pretty full dance card.

Maybe some social events that don't involve bars/clubs? I completely get the "social lubricant" and empathize fully but maybe if it were a booze-free situation, it might take a little bit of pressure off of you. Or maybe a "mocktail" so you have something in your hand.

Other than that, I assume that if you've been sober for over two years there's a reason (as stated - hiding out at home and online, drinking progressively, turning things around) so it seems like a bit of a tragedy to toss it away like that. You could check out the social news/opinion website, reddit(.com), and look through the "AskReddit" section as I recall loads of Q&A posts regarding everything from alcoholism to how to meet potential partners and everything in between throughout the years.

Best.

I don't think you're going to find too many people here who will tell you they think it's okay to start drinking again. I agree with Anna that there is a line that, once crossed, pretty much makes it impossible for an alcoholic to ever drink socially again.

It might help you to keep one thing in mind...You stopped drinking for a reason.

If you accept being alcoholic then NO.
It's good you posted this because it reminds me trying to rationalize using somewhere down the road. Never worked. When I really got sober it was with acceptance of who/what I am, understanding I can't drink/use now, or ever. Of course, I just don't have to drink/use today.

Hope you let go the idea of drinking somewhere down the road, because it hint's at not really being in surrender/acceptance of your alcoholism. Once you arrive there you will know without asking, I can't drink now, or ever.

Wish you the best in your journey........

Peace

:c014:

I know for a fact that I can't drink socially like non-alcoholics. It would start with one drink, then I'd drink every drop of vodka within reach and beyond till I fell over...again.

I used to love drinking in groups because I could be a social butterfly (for lack of a more masculine term :)). Yeah, people would love me, I'd be the life of the party, women loved me (or I'd convince myself they did). The thing is, though, beyond my exhuberant facade, I'd still be the miserable, sad, and lost person that drove me to drink in the first place.

With me, I recognize that drinking made me someone I am not. I am a good person, I am shy, and I have a hard time relating to some people. I was born that way and I am meant to be that way, though I am finding I am starting to come out of my shell every day of sobriety and working my steps.

I wish you the best in your decision. Take care~GeeQ

Add me to the crossing the invisible line list DR1.
I used to socialise and get drunk - and then come home and drink more.
Eventually I forgot about going out.

I spent 20 years trying to drink, but not be an alcoholic.
The last 3 years since I gave up on that have been the best of my life :)

D

DRI: i Always Drank Heavily When i Drank.. in My Experience After A Period of Sobriety i Would Start out Drinking Somewhat Less Than i Was.. But.. Quickly Pick Right Back Up To Where i Was When i Stopped.

If you are an alcoholic you are heading into the biggest nightmare of your life with this thinking...

I won't post too much but you should stick around on this site and do some reading, i have many questions for you but they are for later:-)

:welcome

:)

Never heard of a pickle turning back into a cucumber either!!

Keeping it simple : no.

Welcome DRI. All I can tell you is - I wanted with all my heart for that to be possible. I spent years trying everything so I wouldn't have to give it up completely. In the process I left a trail of destruction behind me. DUI's, ruined relationships, health problems - until in the end I feared for my life.

Only you know why you decided to give it up in the first place. There must have been a good reason. Most of us here couldn't advise picking up again. It has devastated and sucked the life out of us. We wouldn't want to see you risk your health and sanity. Whatever you decide, please be careful.

Alcoholism is ALWAYS progressive. Taking a month, year or decade off makes no difference.

I've been asked that question many times,..........

when can an alcoholic safely drink?

My answer has always been the same. "when they close the lid"

There are all kinds of drinking problems. You indicated yours was while drinking alone. Mine was while drinking with others. One might even try to classify by choice of poison - wine, beer, whiskey or vodka. Not saying that what you propose is impossible - however, to me it sounds like some of the controlled drinking experiments many of us had before deciding to quit altogether: switching to wine instead of Scotch, drinking only after a full stomach, alternating drinks with a glass of water, drinking only at home, drinking only outside the home, drinking only after work, or only on the weekends ... I'd say the odds are heavily against you and the penalty for being wrong pretty damned steep.

Welcome!!!

Better you than me.

i have a very similar story as i am a shy person by nature and use alcohol to feel comfortable and happy in social situations. i have made a lot of good drinking friends and completely enjoy drinking beer with them. but after i became an alcoholic, i started to drink alone. i usually surf the internet and play video games while i fall into my comfortable buzz.

at 36, i have now been heavily drinking for 9 years. i have always had little rules that have saved me somewhat like not drinking till 5:30 or buying my typical 8 pack. also i have quit periodically like a lot of people. i have made 3 serious sober runs over the years that had to do with health concerns and spending more time w/ the computer than w/ the very friends i coveted.

the 1st run lasted 2 months, the 2nd 4 months, and my last one lasted 6 months. i always lose a lot of weight, exercise, and get to the point where i say this isn't so bad. and each time the thing that brought me back was missing my old social life with my friends. i would still visit my friends while sober but it just isn't the same. i wanted that old social feeling and laughter. when sober, i'm just not that fun to be around. and after each relapse, i always had a plan that i was convinced would work. it would usually start w/ only drinking one day a week w/ friends. but that was never the fun i remember because i got so ripped that it was like a manic drinking session. so then it would become only on weekends. the second day would not feel so manic, more of the comfortable buzz i remember. but eventually after a few successful weeks or months of drinking reasonably, i would fall back to old patterns. continuing different plans, stopping for a day or two but always, always falling back to the worst.

and after each relapse, the following bender would be worse with more alcohol and worse health concerns. recently i have developed sleep apnea, hurt my knee, back problems, etc..

so my advice to you is to not chance it. try some different things like taking adult classes, painting, yoga, or something you enjoy. where you can be in social situations but can also focus on a task to take the social edge off.