new here/ambien addiction

[benson]

Hi everyone,

Just joined and I am hoping to feel less alone by just sharing my thoughts. I am 31 years old, and 4 or 5yrs ago was given ambien for a life long insomnia problem. It worked better than anything I ever tried and didn't leave me drowsy the next day. This past summer I realized I was taking it far too often, and on really bad days, even during the day, just to escape mentally. When I told my doctor she made sure to cancel all my current ambien prescriptions at the pharmacy, but she actually forgot one. I didn't realize it at first, but when I did, I filled it and didnt tell her. That went on from July until about 3 weeks ago, and I never told her. I couldnt stand it, so I actually stopped seeing her. I didn't like lying to her, but was too afraid to admit the truth.
I crave ambien more than I ever imagined. She gave me trazadone as a substitute, but it doesn't work too well. I actually have dreams where I find a secret stash of ambien. I bought some online out of desperation, but I just feel very wrong about it all. I know I am mentally dependent on this drug.
I just wanted to share in the hopes that getting this off my chest will bring some relief. I hardly hear about people being addicted to this drug, and sometimes I feel very alone.
Would welcome any feedback.

[coffeenut]

I don't have any feedback, as I have no experience with ambien, but there will be others here shortly that will help you.

Just wanted to welcome you to SR.

[Rowan]

Hi Benson,

Welcome to our recovery community. My primary addiction was booze, but I also got hooked on pills. I understand what you mean by taking sleeping pills during the day in order to escape - I did that too.

Coming here is a great first step - by admitting that you have a problem. And, you'll see that you aren't alone - far from it.

Stick around - cruise the boards, do some reading, and make yourself comfortable. Others will be along to say hello.

[mirage]

Hi Benson...welcome to SR. Sorry, I don't have any experience with Ambien, but I do know you're not alone! Hope you find the support you're looking for...all the best to you!

[benson]

thank you for the quick responses! feels nice to hear others

[Mark75]

I identify as alcoholic, but among my addictions was ambien. My story is similar to yours, taking it during the day to escape, etc... I have talked with people that used up to 20 (twenty) 10 mg tablets a day!!

I used trazadone for a week or so to get back into a normal sleeping pattern. That was after I stopped cold turkey and didn't sleep for about 4 or 5 days. After 2-3 weeks I was sleeping OK without anything. And after 1-2 months... sleeping normally.

I am blessed, after 14.5 months of being clean and sober, I sleep very well. It's almost a miracle.

You are NOT alone, I have met several people who dealt with ambien addiction. Welcome

Mark

[least]

I also have used sleeping meds while awake just to 'not feel'. To go thru the day in a haze. Welcome to the family! You are SO not alone.

[Dee74]

Welcome Benson

As you can see, there's a lot of support and understanding here.

I've never taken ambien but it comes up from time to time as a subject - maybe a search here might make good reading?

Hope to see you around more.
D

[ClosetExtrovert]

Wow, I can so relate to this. I started with Ambien, and when the plug was pulled on that, I went to Lorazapan, and when the plug was pulled on that, I went to scotch. I did the internet thing, too, and begged them off friends I used to have. The booze worked for years, until I realized it was killing me. And I never looked rested - go figure.
Good for you for stopping this before it gets lots worse. Now comes the hard part of finding out why you need the drug in the first place.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. xxoxoxox