This is how bad i want to be clean! Help! Please! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

wanttobeclean · 11-07-2009, 03:51 PM

I have been addicted to opiates since 2003. It started with Vicodin after spinal surgeries. I graduated to Oxycontin, then got off of that over a year ago by just going back on Vicodin. I then graduated to Heroin. I snorted it, never injected, not much differerence. I have been off of H for a month and a half. I cannot believe I got there. I went down to Oxycodones. Five Miligrams, taking about 12 a day. I have sucessfully withdrawn on my own more than once, but could never stay clean, as "people" in my life would call me and say they had something. THIS IS THE DRASTIC step I have taken to get clean. I LEFT THE STATE. I have been in a certain state for one week TRYING to wean down from Ocycodone to 5 mils of vicodin. I took 30 mils of Vics today, and have 2 left, ready for the freakin roller coaster ride to start, which it already has. It has not been easy this week, but this is how serious I am about getting my life back. I have no one to call here to get more. I will need your help and support this week. PLEASE!!!!

**Dee74** · 11-07-2009, 04:09 PM

Hi again wanttobeclean

Good to see you back.
You'll always find support here

What are you going to do different this time?
I'm not asking to be picky - I really want you never to be back at this point again.

Have you seen a Dr? Thought about counselling? NA? outpatient rehab?

I'm glad you understand it takes a lot - so pls...do whatever it takes - we'll be here to support you, but look at some real life support too.

Break the cycle

D

Choppy · 11-07-2009, 04:49 PM

Be strong and know your not alone.

gypsytears · 11-07-2009, 05:56 PM

Stay strong... keep posting... keep reaching out. This forum is awesome for support so please use it.

***Anna*** · 11-07-2009, 07:13 PM

I'm glad you're serious about getting clean and we are here to offer support.

It would be a good idea to talk to a dr.

Know that you can do this!

ex D-Boy · 11-07-2009, 07:36 PM

Welcome to the site man. Sounds a lot like my story but once I "graduated" to heroin I never went back to Rx pills. Started injecting and was put in the half-nelson by dope for more than 4 years.

Just wanted you to know that you can recover. The geographical switch is a wise one if you truly are serious about recovery. I did the same (moving from NYC to south florida) to get rid of familiar people, environments, triggers etc.

Might want to suggest posting this in the substance abuse forums as well. Apparently you were around before (from Dee's reply) but I dont remember seeing you on the SA forums. Lots of great support // advice there. Stay strong ~~ Scott

smacked · 11-07-2009, 07:38 PM

Welcome to SR wantto

thirtybubba · 11-07-2009, 08:02 PM

Welcome to SR, Iwant

Stay around, "I want" can become "I am" astonishingly quickly...

Lots of support around here, lots of success. You're not alone :ghug2

Take care, stay safe,
TB

NAchic · 11-07-2009, 08:36 PM

Welcome to SR, keep posting here. That is a great start to be in different surroundings!!

vegibean · 11-07-2009, 08:45 PM

wantto, we're totally here for you!!! Keep us posted, good luck and take good care of yourself.

coming_clean · 11-08-2009, 04:43 AM

welcome and good luck!! lot´s of good people can and will help you here at SR...

jahnilee59 · 11-08-2009, 05:39 AM

Welcome back to recovery wantto. I'm really glad that you proclaim yourself to be wantto and not needto. Here in my little recovery world we hate the phrase, need to. I have 83 days today although I have been a part of my recovery support group for 20 years. I feel that I must have face to face support but if I couldn't, I certainly would be prepared to pull up a comfy chair and wear out a few keyboards on this site as it is the closest thing to a really good recovery meeting that I have ever encountered outside the walls of a clubhouse or members home group. Please keep posting. Thank you for your honesty. John in Oklahoma

wanttobeclean · 11-08-2009, 06:40 AM

Thank you all for your kid words and support! This means so much to me. GOD has blessed me somehow. I got a massage yeterday morning and it releases a lot of the toxins, I downed as much water as possible to get them out, and I woke up today, with minimal withdrawl symptoms. The worst I (physical) is over, I HOPE. I am taking one 5 mg vicodin this am, and my LAST one 5 mil in 8 hours. It has been very hard weaning down, and I have been feeling like crap most of the week. I do plan on finding NA meetings down here and continuing support from you wonderful people who understand. I am so serious about this, I want my life back.....opiates have ALMOST destroyed it.

11-07-2009, 03:51 PM	#1 (permalink)
wanttobeclean Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 15	This is how bad i want to be clean! Help! Please! I have been addicted to opiates since 2003. It started with Vicodin after spinal surgeries. I graduated to Oxycontin, then got off of that over a year ago by just going back on Vicodin. I then graduated to Heroin. I snorted it, never injected, not much differerence. I have been off of H for a month and a half. I cannot believe I got there. I went down to Oxycodones. Five Miligrams, taking about 12 a day. I have sucessfully withdrawn on my own more than once, but could never stay clean, as "people" in my life would call me and say they had something. THIS IS THE DRASTIC step I have taken to get clean. I LEFT THE STATE. I have been in a certain state for one week TRYING to wean down from Ocycodone to 5 mils of vicodin. I took 30 mils of Vics today, and have 2 left, ready for the freakin roller coaster ride to start, which it already has. It has not been easy this week, but this is how serious I am about getting my life back. I have no one to call here to get more. I will need your help and support this week. PLEASE!!!!

11-07-2009, 04:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,369	Hi again wanttobeclean Good to see you back. You'll always find support here What are you going to do different this time? I'm not asking to be picky - I really want you never to be back at this point again. Have you seen a Dr? Thought about counselling? NA? outpatient rehab? I'm glad you understand it takes a lot - so pls...do whatever it takes - we'll be here to support you, but look at some real life support too. Break the cycle D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

11-07-2009, 05:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
gypsytears not a greeter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: padmasana Posts: 12,538 Blog Entries: 2	Stay strong... keep posting... keep reaching out. This forum is awesome for support so please use it. __________________ Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. ~B.K.S. Iyengar

11-07-2009, 07:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
*Anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 22,768	I'm glad you're serious about getting clean and we are here to offer support. It would be a good idea to talk to a dr. Know that you can do this! __________________ And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

11-07-2009, 07:36 PM	#6 (permalink)
ex D-Boy Sco Seeeezy 3D Net Blazer Champion! Angry Old Wizard Champion! Basketball Champion! Freaky Football Champion! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Boca FL Posts: 760	Welcome to the site man. Sounds a lot like my story but once I "graduated" to heroin I never went back to Rx pills. Started injecting and was put in the half-nelson by dope for more than 4 years. Just wanted you to know that you can recover. The geographical switch is a wise one if you truly are serious about recovery. I did the same (moving from NYC to south florida) to get rid of familiar people, environments, triggers etc. Might want to suggest posting this in the substance abuse forums as well. Apparently you were around before (from Dee's reply) but I dont remember seeing you on the SA forums. Lots of great support // advice there. Stay strong ~~ Scott __________________ She say she nah let go ~~ LKA <3 Forever

11-07-2009, 04:49 PM	#3 (permalink)
Choppy Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: new zealand Posts: 13	Be strong and know your not alone.

11-07-2009, 07:38 PM	#7 (permalink)
smacked Heathen Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: La La Land, USA Posts: 2,349	Welcome to SR wantto __________________

11-07-2009, 08:02 PM	#8 (permalink)
thirtybubba Owner of a strange glitch. Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: midsouth Posts: 2,275	Welcome to SR, Iwant Stay around, "I want" can become "I am" astonishingly quickly... Lots of support around here, lots of success. You're not alone :ghug2 Take care, stay safe, TB

11-07-2009, 08:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
NAchic Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: upstate new york Posts: 79	Welcome to SR, keep posting here. That is a great start to be in different surroundings!! __________________ after a storm..there is always a rainbow

11-07-2009, 08:45 PM	#10 (permalink)
vegibean Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: SE and then South some more Posts: 1,872	wantto, we're totally here for you!!! Keep us posted, good luck and take good care of yourself. __________________ If you think you can or cannot, you are right. Sober Since October 17, 2007

11-08-2009, 04:43 AM	#11 (permalink)
coming_clean Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the netherlands Posts: 665	welcome and good luck!! lot´s of good people can and will help you here at SR... __________________ Every human being is the author of his own health or disease. -Buddha- 01.23.2012 Better run through the jungle, Don't look back see, -Creedance Clearwater Revival-

11-08-2009, 05:39 AM	#12 (permalink)
jahnilee59 Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Bethany, OK Posts: 47	Welcome back to recovery wantto. I'm really glad that you proclaim yourself to be wantto and not needto. Here in my little recovery world we hate the phrase, need to. I have 83 days today although I have been a part of my recovery support group for 20 years. I feel that I must have face to face support but if I couldn't, I certainly would be prepared to pull up a comfy chair and wear out a few keyboards on this site as it is the closest thing to a really good recovery meeting that I have ever encountered outside the walls of a clubhouse or members home group. Please keep posting. Thank you for your honesty. John in Oklahoma

11-08-2009, 06:40 AM	#13 (permalink)
wanttobeclean Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 15	Thank you all for your kid words and support! This means so much to me. GOD has blessed me somehow. I got a massage yeterday morning and it releases a lot of the toxins, I downed as much water as possible to get them out, and I woke up today, with minimal withdrawl symptoms. The worst I (physical) is over, I HOPE. I am taking one 5 mg vicodin this am, and my LAST one 5 mil in 8 hours. It has been very hard weaning down, and I have been feeling like crap most of the week. I do plan on finding NA meetings down here and continuing support from you wonderful people who understand. I am so serious about this, I want my life back.....opiates have ALMOST destroyed it.

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