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11-07-2009, 03:51 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 14
| This is how bad i want to be clean! Help! Please!
I have been addicted to opiates since 2003. It started with Vicodin after spinal surgeries. I graduated to Oxycontin, then got off of that over a year ago by just going back on Vicodin. I then graduated to Heroin. I snorted it, never injected, not much differerence. I have been off of H for a month and a half. I cannot believe I got there. I went down to Oxycodones. Five Miligrams, taking about 12 a day. I have sucessfully withdrawn on my own more than once, but could never stay clean, as "people" in my life would call me and say they had something. THIS IS THE DRASTIC step I have taken to get clean. I LEFT THE STATE. I have been in a certain state for one week TRYING to wean down from Ocycodone to 5 mils of vicodin. I took 30 mils of Vics today, and have 2 left, ready for the freakin roller coaster ride to start, which it already has. It has not been easy this week, but this is how serious I am about getting my life back. I have no one to call here to get more. I will need your help and support this week. PLEASE!!!!
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| The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to wanttobeclean For This Useful Post: | ex D-Boy (11-07-2009), jahnilee59 (11-08-2009), NAchic (11-07-2009), tallcactus (11-08-2009), tjp613 (11-07-2009), ViciousCycle (11-07-2009) |
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11-07-2009, 04:09 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas
Posts: 14,634
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Hi again wanttobeclean Good to see you back. You'll always find support here  What are you going to do different this time? I'm not asking to be picky - I really want you never to be back at this point again. Have you seen a Dr? Thought about counselling? NA? outpatient rehab? I'm glad you understand it takes a lot - so pls...do whatever it takes - we'll be here to support you, but look at some real life support too. Break the cycle D
__________________ May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. |
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| The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post: | Bamboozle (11-07-2009), jahnilee59 (11-08-2009), OzSandy (11-08-2009), tallcactus (11-08-2009), ViciousCycle (11-07-2009), wanttobeclean (11-08-2009) |
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11-07-2009, 05:56 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| not a greeter  |
Stay strong... keep posting... keep reaching out. This forum is awesome for support so please use it.
__________________  Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. ~B.K.S. Iyengar  |
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to gypsytears For This Useful Post: | jahnilee59 (11-08-2009), tallcactus (11-08-2009), ViciousCycle (11-07-2009), wanttobeclean (11-08-2009) |
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11-07-2009, 07:13 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Administrator  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 14,727
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I'm glad you're serious about getting clean and we are here to offer support. It would be a good idea to talk to a dr. Know that you can do this!
__________________ Anna  And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver |
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to 51anna For This Useful Post: |
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11-07-2009, 07:36 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Can you meet me halfway?  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Boca FL
Posts: 697
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Welcome to the site man. Sounds a lot like my story but once I "graduated" to heroin I never went back to Rx pills. Started injecting and was put in the half-nelson by dope for more than 4 years. Just wanted you to know that you can recover. The geographical switch is a wise one if you truly are serious about recovery. I did the same (moving from NYC to south florida) to get rid of familiar people, environments, triggers etc. Might want to suggest posting this in the substance abuse forums as well. Apparently you were around before (from Dee's reply) but I dont remember seeing you on the SA forums. Lots of great support // advice there. Stay strong ~~ Scott
__________________ I've lost so many relationships. Is it just because I dont relate to s***? |
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to ex D-Boy For This Useful Post: |
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11-07-2009, 08:02 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Person...  Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: SoCal
Posts: 1,247
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Welcome to SR, Iwant  Stay around, "I want" can become "I am" astonishingly quickly...Lots of support around here, lots of success. You're not alone  Take care, stay safe, TB |
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to thirtybubba For This Useful Post: | tallcactus (11-08-2009), wanttobeclean (11-08-2009) |
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11-07-2009, 08:36 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: upstate new york
Posts: 75
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Welcome to SR, keep posting here. That is a great start to be in different surroundings!! 
__________________ after a storm..there is always a rainbow |
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to NAchic For This Useful Post: | tallcactus (11-08-2009), wanttobeclean (11-08-2009) |
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11-07-2009, 08:45 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: N. Palm Beach, Floriduh
Posts: 1,468
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wantto, we're totally here for you!!! Keep us posted, good luck and take good care of yourself. 
__________________ If you think you can or cannot, you are right. Sober Since October 17, 2007 |
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to vegibean For This Useful Post: | tallcactus (11-08-2009), wanttobeclean (11-08-2009) |
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11-08-2009, 04:43 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: the netherlands
Posts: 416
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welcome and good luck!! lot´s of good people can and will help you here at SR...
__________________ Every human being is the author of his own health or disease. -Buddha- There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth: 1.) not going all the way; and 2.) not starting. -Buddha- |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to coming_clean For This Useful Post: | wanttobeclean (11-08-2009) |
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11-08-2009, 05:39 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Bethany, OK
Posts: 42
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Welcome back to recovery wantto. I'm really glad that you proclaim yourself to be wantto and not needto. Here in my little recovery world we hate the phrase, need to. I have 83 days today although I have been a part of my recovery support group for 20 years. I feel that I must have face to face support but if I couldn't, I certainly would be prepared to pull up a comfy chair and wear out a few keyboards on this site as it is the closest thing to a really good recovery meeting that I have ever encountered outside the walls of a clubhouse or members home group. Please keep posting. Thank you for your honesty. John in Oklahoma
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| The Following User Says Thank You to jahnilee59 For This Useful Post: | wanttobeclean (11-08-2009) |
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11-08-2009, 06:40 AM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 14
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Thank you all for your kid words and support! This means so much to me. GOD has blessed me somehow. I got a massage yeterday morning and it releases a lot of the toxins, I downed as much water as possible to get them out, and I woke up today, with minimal withdrawl symptoms. The worst I (physical) is over, I HOPE. I am taking one 5 mg vicodin this am, and my LAST one 5 mil in 8 hours. It has been very hard weaning down, and I have been feeling like crap most of the week. I do plan on finding NA meetings down here and continuing support from you wonderful people who understand. I am so serious about this, I want my life back.....opiates have ALMOST destroyed it.
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to wanttobeclean For This Useful Post: | jahnilee59 (11-08-2009), me11109 (11-08-2009) |
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