New to this site and definatly need some support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Alexis8842 · 11-07-2009, 09:24 AM

I am new to this sight and so far what I have seen is pretty amazing! Everyone is goin thru the same things and offer sooo much support to one another.... its so hard 2 find that!! Im livin with someone who doesnt do drugs (and im not so sure she understands addiction AT ALL) and was on my ass to get clean and i finally did... and i truely feel like she just wants me to fail now!! She knows exactly what 2 say or do 2 make me wanna either relapse or kill myself... She never tells me that shes proud of me, but she is so quik 2 point out my mistakes! But her boyfriend could not use for 2 days and shes all ova him tellin him how proud of him she is and makin it known 2 everyone that he has 2 days clean... It just kinda hurts cuz shes my sister and the one who made me see alot of things that made me wanna be clean!
Anyways, i just wanna be able 2 talk 2 people who might understand me and can maybe offer me some advice about what 2 do? Im kinda lost right now... Thank you and i am actually so glad i joined this sight even tho i have NO IDEA how 2 do anything yet?? I think i might have posted this message in the wrong place LOL... i kind of feel better even just getting my feelings out in this message and having hopes that someone will respond!! Thanks again
<3 Alexis <3 :praying

Sikkisirus · 11-07-2009, 09:36 AM

to SR Alexis

Are you and your sister close? Im betting she is proud of you but feels 'awkward' actually saying it? I don't know but this has been my experience with siblings

You'll get lots of support here anyways.

Wolfchild · 11-07-2009, 09:38 AM

NewMe11109 · 11-07-2009, 09:41 AM

Welcome to SR Alexis!

Gypsy Feet · 11-07-2009, 09:48 AM

Welcome and congratulations for making the decision to get clean!!!!! People who have never been addicted don't really "get it", and the praise she uses on her bf is most likely her way of trying to control his behavior, like praising a puppy for tinkling outside to train it.

If you want tons of support from people who really KNOW where you are coming from you have come to the right spot, we all "get it"

beautifulbc · 11-07-2009, 10:26 AM

I am so glad you found this great safe place!

Perhaps your sister is afraid and doesn't know how to express her feelings to you - it sounds like she is definitely struggling with something herself but that belongs to her. You are doing ALL the right things by managing your recovery.
I do know how important is to us to have positive feedback, encouragement, hugs - someone to love us flaws and all.
Keep coming back here - we all know how you feel, and we are all wanting you to succeed.
Sending big hugs to you - BBC

sailorjohn · 11-07-2009, 10:28 AM

Welcome!!!

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.

**Dee74** · 11-07-2009, 02:40 PM

Welcome Alexis!

Yeah, we definitely get it LOL - look forward to hearing more from you

D

sailorjohn · 11-07-2009, 02:43 PM

Ooops!

mirage · 11-07-2009, 05:45 PM

Glad you found SR, Alexis! It's a great place for support and helps me a lot..hope it helps you, too. Hope to hear more from you!

gypsytears · 11-07-2009, 05:58 PM

Hi and welcome from me as well. Post, read, ask... great forum for support.

LovesToTravel · 11-08-2009, 12:07 PM

My sister told me that she doesn't want to say much about it to me but she is behind me 100%..but then I don't live with her. You have to do this for yourself. Get your congrats and inspiration here.

Welcome to SR.

I just LOVE these smilies!

barb dwyer · 11-08-2009, 09:52 PM

hi Alexis -

Welcome to SR!

Are you in , or considering a progranm of recovery?

miamifella · 11-08-2009, 10:21 PM

Most people are intolerant of addiction. I myself was a non-drug user and cut a number of drinkers and drug users out of my life before I became an addict myself.

The sad truth is that an addict using or in recovery often look the same from the outside. She probably does not know anything about addiction as you point out. If she is not an addict, why would she?

But the upside is that your commitment over time will eventually win her over. Some of those same people I cut out----I late took back in. It took time, but it will happen.

11-07-2009, 09:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
Alexis8842 Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Saugus, Ma Posts: 1	New to this site and definatly need some support I am new to this sight and so far what I have seen is pretty amazing! Everyone is goin thru the same things and offer sooo much support to one another.... its so hard 2 find that!! Im livin with someone who doesnt do drugs (and im not so sure she understands addiction AT ALL) and was on my ass to get clean and i finally did... and i truely feel like she just wants me to fail now!! She knows exactly what 2 say or do 2 make me wanna either relapse or kill myself... She never tells me that shes proud of me, but she is so quik 2 point out my mistakes! But her boyfriend could not use for 2 days and shes all ova him tellin him how proud of him she is and makin it known 2 everyone that he has 2 days clean... It just kinda hurts cuz shes my sister and the one who made me see alot of things that made me wanna be clean! Anyways, i just wanna be able 2 talk 2 people who might understand me and can maybe offer me some advice about what 2 do? Im kinda lost right now... Thank you and i am actually so glad i joined this sight even tho i have NO IDEA how 2 do anything yet?? I think i might have posted this message in the wrong place LOL... i kind of feel better even just getting my feelings out in this message and having hopes that someone will respond!! Thanks again <3 Alexis <3 :praying

11-07-2009, 09:36 AM	#2 (permalink)
Sikkisirus Rockstar Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Wales, UK Posts: 631	to SR Alexis Are you and your sister close? Im betting she is proud of you but feels 'awkward' actually saying it? I don't know but this has been my experience with siblings You'll get lots of support here anyways. __________________ Standing in a church makes you no more of a Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car. The past is a strange place. They do things differently there.

11-07-2009, 09:38 AM	#3 (permalink)
Wolfchild Disposable Hero Tournaments Won: 3 Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Being, ME Posts: 3,758 Blog Entries: 3	__________________ Any clean addict is a miracle and keeping the miracle alive is an ongoing process of awareness, surrender, and growth

11-07-2009, 09:41 AM	#4 (permalink)
NewMe11109 The New Me starting 1/11/09 Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: California Posts: 631	Welcome to SR Alexis! __________________ The New Me as of 1/11/09 Still searching for that darn wisdom to know the difference. Do you know where I can find some?

11-07-2009, 09:48 AM	#5 (permalink)
Gypsy Feet mergirl Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Paradise Posts: 3,780 Blog Entries: 4	Welcome and congratulations for making the decision to get clean!!!!! People who have never been addicted don't really "get it", and the praise she uses on her bf is most likely her way of trying to control his behavior, like praising a puppy for tinkling outside to train it. If you want tons of support from people who really KNOW where you are coming from you have come to the right spot, we all "get it" __________________ ~Lisa~ ban the deed, not the breed~ three years of continuous sobriety and counting <3 (its a sideways heart!)

11-07-2009, 10:26 AM	#6 (permalink)
beautifulbc Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Vancouver Posts: 40	I am so glad you found this great safe place! Perhaps your sister is afraid and doesn't know how to express her feelings to you - it sounds like she is definitely struggling with something herself but that belongs to her. You are doing ALL the right things by managing your recovery. I do know how important is to us to have positive feedback, encouragement, hugs - someone to love us flaws and all. Keep coming back here - we all know how you feel, and we are all wanting you to succeed. Sending big hugs to you - BBC

11-07-2009, 10:28 AM	#7 (permalink)
sailorjohn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Baghdad Posts: 2,828	Welcome!!! Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here. __________________ Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.

11-07-2009, 02:40 PM	#8 (permalink)
Dee74 SR Moderator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 42,369	Welcome Alexis! Yeah, we definitely get it LOL - look forward to hearing more from you D __________________ “When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”Lao Tzu

11-07-2009, 02:43 PM	#9 (permalink)
sailorjohn Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Baghdad Posts: 2,828	Ooops! __________________ Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.

11-07-2009, 05:45 PM	#10 (permalink)
mirage Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,556	Glad you found SR, Alexis! It's a great place for support and helps me a lot..hope it helps you, too. Hope to hear more from you! __________________ "Just keep swimming" - Dory

11-07-2009, 05:58 PM	#11 (permalink)
gypsytears not a greeter Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: padmasana Posts: 12,538 Blog Entries: 2	Hi and welcome from me as well. Post, read, ask... great forum for support. __________________ Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. ~B.K.S. Iyengar

11-08-2009, 12:07 PM	#12 (permalink)
LovesToTravel Member 2 Hand Poker Champion! Flash Poker Champion! Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 1,945 Blog Entries: 23	My sister told me that she doesn't want to say much about it to me but she is behind me 100%..but then I don't live with her. You have to do this for yourself. Get your congrats and inspiration here. Welcome to SR. I just LOVE these smilies!

11-08-2009, 09:52 PM	#13 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 10,933 Blog Entries: 7	hi Alexis - Welcome to SR! Are you in , or considering a progranm of recovery? __________________ Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.

11-08-2009, 10:21 PM	#14 (permalink)
miamifella Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 398	Most people are intolerant of addiction. I myself was a non-drug user and cut a number of drinkers and drug users out of my life before I became an addict myself. The sad truth is that an addict using or in recovery often look the same from the outside. She probably does not know anything about addiction as you point out. If she is not an addict, why would she? But the upside is that your commitment over time will eventually win her over. Some of those same people I cut out----I late took back in. It took time, but it will happen.

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