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11-07-2009, 01:06 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Resident grateful guy!  | 5 months. Balance is good.
A few months ago i didn't know what balance was. Moderation was a mystery to me. As any good alcoholic/addict it was all or nothing. Not just with drugs and alcohol either. When i got money i got in over my head. When i got success i got in over my head. When i got into my hobby, cars, i got in over my head. When i started my business i got in over my head. I was so obsessed with finding my nirvana anywhere and everywhere except inside myself, i was simply chasing one empty, unsatisfying thing after another. I was so obsessed with keeping up appearances and comparing my insides to everybody's outsides i completely lost me. Once i finally let go of everything i "thought" was important and became willing to accept that those things are not what it's all about something amazing happened. Life simplified itself. Things righted themselves. Balance came to me. Moderation became attainable. I am now deeply grateful for things that a few months ago i took for granted. I'm employable, and more importantly, employed. I'm housed, i'm fed, i'm, dare i say, happy. If anyone would have told me a few months ago i would be happy and grateful for a job as a janitor, working second shift, swinging a mop and cleaning up after others i would have asked you for 2 of whatever you were taking. Balance today is simply getting up, hitting my knees, enjoying feeling good, going to work, coming home and hitting my knees again for thanks. I no longer obsess over what others think of me. I no longer obsess about trying to be the cool guy. I no longer obsess about the next high or drunk. I know longer obsess about what's gonna happen tomorrow or next week, or next month, or next year. I do what i need to today and everything else just balances out. :praying
__________________ "Acceptance is the key to my relationship with God today. I never just sit and do nothing while waiting for Him to tell me what to do. Rather, i do whatever is in front of me to be done, and i leave the results up to him; however it turns out, that's God's will for me." |
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11-07-2009, 05:04 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Hope3  Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,146
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Hi Tim, what is, is all anyone has if we are living in the presence. I loved your message and where you are comming from....Living in the presence, in the presence of and through the spirit of the universe is all I need....bless you and all. love and hope hope3
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11-07-2009, 05:33 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Administrator  Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 22,768
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Tim, I was like you, in that I tended to do things obsessively, or not at all. I find that balance is crucial in all aspects of my life now, and it works well for me. Congratulations on your sobriety.
__________________  And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver |
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11-07-2009, 05:49 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| On a journey  Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Grand Rapids, MI
Posts: 479
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Thanks for your post Tim. It reminds me of where I need to be. Congrats on your 5 mos!!
__________________ Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” - Mary Anne Radmacher |
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11-07-2009, 06:40 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Bowling Green KY
Posts: 259
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awesome post tim....and a great hope for so many that come to here not just hurting from the alcohol. very happy for anyone that can achieve what you've done. it's a huge thing to achieve contentment....no matter where we are. i applaud you. |
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11-07-2009, 07:46 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 1,872
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YAY!!!!!!! Tim, sounds great!! I had just posted a couple of weeks ago about some issues I have with balancing my life. I still tend to push myself too hard and then wipe myself out. No wonder I drank, I even drove myself to it, lol!!! I am grateful for so much these days too and as well I would have never thought........ You sound great!! Good for you!!! 
__________________ If you think you can or cannot, you are right. Sober Since October 17, 2007 |
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11-07-2009, 07:49 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 1,872
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and PS- See the lawn mower as my avitar? It's there because of my mowing the lawn one day. I was sweating my ass off, felt like I was dying out in that FL heat but I was SO grateful. It felt so good to do something that I had never done all by myself that I usually would have "required" a man to do. Mowing the lawn that first time in my new home made me incredibly grateful for what I have and where I am today.
__________________ If you think you can or cannot, you are right. Sober Since October 17, 2007 |
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