Welcome to me :) - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Strife2211 · 11-06-2009, 12:04 PM

I am in the process of recovering from a dark 4 years of alcoholism after being on active duty with the army. I got home from my activation with the Minnesota Army National Guard (after 8 months deployed) on April 1st, 2006. My girlfriend left me the week I got home, all my friends had lost interest in me because I had been gone, and I lived alone for 2 years after that... sitting in my apartment all hours basically drinking by myself, if not with others that encouraged the bahavior. During those 2 years I met a girl, who should have been my wife to this day, but my alcohol abuse (and verbal abuse) of her pushed her away. Another 1.5 years after that I continued to go out every day after that and get smashed at the bars and not remember driving home. (I was black out drunk basically 4-6 days a week).

I now live with one roommate and have been pushing for sobriety for 3 months now. I DO STILL DRINK, but in no relation to what I used to, maybe twice a month, and when I do drink, it is a few drinks then stop. I ALSO KNOW THAT COMPLETE SOBRIETY IS THE ONLY TRUE RECOVERY. I am working my way towards that, but am in the meantime making progress, I believe.

I have not spoke to my friends or my family of the recovery. I have been failing out of college ever since the start of that road. My mother told me the first week of September (2009) that my parents are getting divorced, I have pushed my father out of my life (and for many good reasons). My life is in shambles, and the only help I ever really seem to get... is my lying in bed alone at night as I can't sleep... I cry a lot, and I do not know where I have gone wrong. I look back and I do not understand how I have let my life come to this. Every day I look at myself in the mirror and cannot believe that I have let myself becomes this loser... I have literally no friends and my family has broken.

I do not have suicidal thoughts however. I have a meeting set up with a chemical dependency counselor next week. I just feel lost in my life, and when I saw this site, and its amount of members... I figured this would be my first outreach.

Justin T.
26 y.o. male
Fargo, ND

Kablume · 11-06-2009, 12:10 PM

Welcome to SR Justin. Recovery begins with taking that first step. Reaching out.

sailorjohn · 11-06-2009, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strife2211

I now live with one roommate and have been pushing for sobriety for 3 months now. I DO STILL DRINK, but in no relation to what I used to, maybe twice a month, and when I do drink, it is a few drinks then stop. I ALSO KNOW THAT COMPLETE SOBRIETY IS THE ONLY TRUE RECOVERY. I am working my way towards that, but am in the meantime making progress, I believe.

Welcome!!!

What you're referring to is generally recognized as a stage of the disease.

True progress, imo, is only going to occur when you stop drinking entirely.

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.

Threshold · 11-06-2009, 12:18 PM

welcome. you've come to the right place...a place of honesty

***51anna*** · 11-06-2009, 12:30 PM

I am glad that you found us and that you are seeking support.

You might consider talking to your dr or counsellor about the possibility that you are depressed. I wish you well, and hope you keep reading and posting.

**CarolD** · 11-06-2009, 12:42 PM

Welcome.....

kj3880 · 11-06-2009, 12:46 PM

Welcome! A visit to a substance abuse counselor is a great idea! You can get a lot of support here, too. But what about checking out an AA or NA meeting for some face-to-face support and to get you out of that isolation? It sure couldn't hurt right now!

Love,
KJ

**Dee74** · 11-06-2009, 12:54 PM

Welcome to SR Justin

Some great advice here - hope to see you around some more.

D

Wolfchild · 11-06-2009, 04:42 PM

Hevyn · 11-06-2009, 04:43 PM

Welcome Strife, and thank you for your Army service.

I can sure understand your need to numb the feelings of sadness & loss you're trying to cope with. Drinking only masks them, though - nothing gets dealt with in a meaningful way. I agree that AA might be a good thing to try - to get your mind off your circumstances for one thing. Everything seems bleak right now, but nothing stays the same forever. You can pull yourself up out of this - I did after many years of drinking and isolating. Yes, it felt strange at first - but if you give yourself chance to heal you'll see you still have a wonderful life ahead of you. Please let us know how it's going for you.

vegibean · 11-06-2009, 04:58 PM

Hey Justin! First off, you're not a loser. None of us here are losers and no one ever starts their life off saying to themselves "I'm going to grow up and be an alcoholic/addict." Some where in our life we end up here. Lot's of us have pasts just like you and it's played it's part in our downhill spiral.

The very good news is that you're not alone and YOU HAVE found a great site!! Love this place, tons of support and lot's of good stuff to read.

Welcome to SR!! Hope you'll stick around and keep reading and posting. My very, very best to you on your journey.

smacked · 11-06-2009, 04:59 PM

Welcome

nogard · 11-06-2009, 05:04 PM

Welcome

thirtybubba · 11-06-2009, 05:14 PM

Welcome to SR, Justin

Take care of yourself, and stay safe,
TB

least · 11-06-2009, 05:16 PM

Welcome to SR! You're not a loser. REad our stories and ask your questions. Many of us have been where you are now. Many of us have crawled out of that deep dark hole we dug for ourselves. You can too. An appt with a counselor is a great first step. Be honest with them so they can be of the most benefit to you.

I'm glad you reached out and joined the family!

**Rowan** · 11-06-2009, 05:20 PM

Welcome to our recovery community, Justin. I'm glad you found us. Keep reaching out for support.

11-06-2009, 12:04 PM	#1 (permalink)
Strife2211 Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Fargo, ND Posts: 1	Welcome to me :) I am in the process of recovering from a dark 4 years of alcoholism after being on active duty with the army. I got home from my activation with the Minnesota Army National Guard (after 8 months deployed) on April 1st, 2006. My girlfriend left me the week I got home, all my friends had lost interest in me because I had been gone, and I lived alone for 2 years after that... sitting in my apartment all hours basically drinking by myself, if not with others that encouraged the bahavior. During those 2 years I met a girl, who should have been my wife to this day, but my alcohol abuse (and verbal abuse) of her pushed her away. Another 1.5 years after that I continued to go out every day after that and get smashed at the bars and not remember driving home. (I was black out drunk basically 4-6 days a week). I now live with one roommate and have been pushing for sobriety for 3 months now. I DO STILL DRINK, but in no relation to what I used to, maybe twice a month, and when I do drink, it is a few drinks then stop. I ALSO KNOW THAT COMPLETE SOBRIETY IS THE ONLY TRUE RECOVERY. I am working my way towards that, but am in the meantime making progress, I believe. I have not spoke to my friends or my family of the recovery. I have been failing out of college ever since the start of that road. My mother told me the first week of September (2009) that my parents are getting divorced, I have pushed my father out of my life (and for many good reasons). My life is in shambles, and the only help I ever really seem to get... is my lying in bed alone at night as I can't sleep... I cry a lot, and I do not know where I have gone wrong. I look back and I do not understand how I have let my life come to this. Every day I look at myself in the mirror and cannot believe that I have let myself becomes this loser... I have literally no friends and my family has broken. I do not have suicidal thoughts however. I have a meeting set up with a chemical dependency counselor next week. I just feel lost in my life, and when I saw this site, and its amount of members... I figured this would be my first outreach. Justin T. 26 y.o. male Fargo, ND

11-06-2009, 12:10 PM	#2 (permalink)
Kablume In the Here and Now Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Grand Rapids, MI Posts: 199	Welcome to SR Justin. Recovery begins with taking that first step. Reaching out. __________________ Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you. Dr. Seuss

11-06-2009, 12:30 PM	#5 (permalink)
*51anna* Administrator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Dancing in the Light Posts: 14,743	I am glad that you found us and that you are seeking support. You might consider talking to your dr or counsellor about the possibility that you are depressed. I wish you well, and hope you keep reading and posting. __________________ Anna And I dont know what the future is holding in store I dont know where Im going, Im not sure where I've been There's a spirit that guides me, a light that shines for me My life is worth the living, I dont need to see the end. John Denver

11-06-2009, 12:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 21,891	Welcome..... __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery! :

11-06-2009, 12:54 PM	#8 (permalink)
Dee74 Forum Leader Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Seas Posts: 14,672	Welcome to SR Justin Some great advice here - hope to see you around some more. D __________________ May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you.

11-06-2009, 12:18 PM	#4 (permalink)
Threshold Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: South Carolina Posts: 139	welcome. you've come to the right place...a place of honesty

11-06-2009, 12:46 PM	#7 (permalink)
kj3880 Member Alchemy Champion! Alchemy II Champion! Mahjongg 2 Champion! Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: md Posts: 2,798	Welcome! A visit to a substance abuse counselor is a great idea! You can get a lot of support here, too. But what about checking out an AA or NA meeting for some face-to-face support and to get you out of that isolation? It sure couldn't hurt right now! Love, KJ

11-06-2009, 04:42 PM	#9 (permalink)
Wolfchild Disposable Hero Air Attack 2 Champion! Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Being, ME Posts: 3,247 Blog Entries: 3	__________________ Any clean addict is a miracle and keeping the miracle alive is an ongoing process of awareness, surrender, and growth

11-06-2009, 04:43 PM	#10 (permalink)
Hevyn Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: On the beach Posts: 1,781	Welcome Strife, and thank you for your Army service. I can sure understand your need to numb the feelings of sadness & loss you're trying to cope with. Drinking only masks them, though - nothing gets dealt with in a meaningful way. I agree that AA might be a good thing to try - to get your mind off your circumstances for one thing. Everything seems bleak right now, but nothing stays the same forever. You can pull yourself up out of this - I did after many years of drinking and isolating. Yes, it felt strange at first - but if you give yourself chance to heal you'll see you still have a wonderful life ahead of you. Please let us know how it's going for you.

11-06-2009, 04:58 PM	#11 (permalink)
vegibean Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: N. Palm Beach, Floriduh Posts: 1,468	Hey Justin! First off, you're not a loser. None of us here are losers and no one ever starts their life off saying to themselves "I'm going to grow up and be an alcoholic/addict." Some where in our life we end up here. Lot's of us have pasts just like you and it's played it's part in our downhill spiral. The very good news is that you're not alone and YOU HAVE found a great site!! Love this place, tons of support and lot's of good stuff to read. Welcome to SR!! Hope you'll stick around and keep reading and posting. My very, very best to you on your journey. __________________ If you think you can or cannot, you are right. Sober Since October 17, 2007

11-06-2009, 04:59 PM	#12 (permalink)
smacked Heathen Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: La La Land Posts: 1,256	Welcome __________________

11-06-2009, 05:04 PM	#13 (permalink)
nogard Connected at last Join Date: May 2005 Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia Posts: 14,115 Blog Entries: 3	Welcome __________________ ...And like a bird that's on the wing and is flying free He can hear the song of home endlessly

11-06-2009, 05:14 PM	#14 (permalink)
thirtybubba Person... Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Stranded I Think Posts: 1,258	Welcome to SR, Justin Take care of yourself, and stay safe, TB

11-06-2009, 05:16 PM	#15 (permalink)
least recovering Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: eastern USA Posts: 9,944 Blog Entries: 14	Welcome to SR! You're not a loser. REad our stories and ask your questions. Many of us have been where you are now. Many of us have crawled out of that deep dark hole we dug for ourselves. You can too. An appt with a counselor is a great first step. Be honest with them so they can be of the most benefit to you. I'm glad you reached out and joined the family! __________________ I'd rather live in my van with my dogs than live in a mansion without them. Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. Plus que je connais les hommes, plus j'aime mon chien. (The more I know mankind, the more I love my dog)

11-06-2009, 05:20 PM	#16 (permalink)
Rowan Social Network Moderator Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 11,976	Welcome to our recovery community, Justin. I'm glad you found us. Keep reaching out for support. __________________

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