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07-10-2009, 08:01 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 10
|  Help!!!
Hi all!!! I need help and don't know where to begin!!! This is so hard for me! I have been drinking so much of my life I don't know how to stop!!! Last night I went out to a bar, said stupid things to people and have no idea how I got home!!! Waking up and begging my ex to please let me stay one more day as I have no where else to go!!! I am at bottom......46 years old and nothing to show for it but 3 beautiful children who I have let down over and over again!!! Had an ankle fusion 7 moths ago...was on complete bed rest and even though I have had drinking problems in the past it was a few times a year!! Now the bottle has become my best friend.....nothing like laying in bed with a bottle of rum and falling asleep!!! Meeting strange men and kissing....risking my job....2 DUI's and still I drink to become numb!!! Help....is there anyone out there who won't judge and offer advise? I called AA tonight...going to a meeting tomorrow!!!! I am so scared though....how do you go in??? Has anyone been there?? Thank you for y  our time!!! Just finally ready to live again!!!
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| The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to Stilljustagirl For This Useful Post: | brokenhalo (07-10-2009), Firehazard (07-11-2009), geothinkah (07-11-2009), Jane47 (07-10-2009), Kelly927 (07-12-2009), least (07-11-2009), Pancake (07-10-2009), resentful wife (07-11-2009), Twinpairs (07-12-2009) |
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07-10-2009, 08:05 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: maintenance
Posts: 14,329
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Hi stilljustagirl welcome to SR. I think very many people here know exactly what you're going through. It's a great place for support, advice and encouragement. I think getting face to face support like AA is great too. Keep posting! I hope to see you around more - hope you get something out of your meeting as well  D
__________________ May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. |
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post: |
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07-10-2009, 08:10 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,300
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Welcome to SR :ghug we are all alcoholics here & understand. Stay close, read & share for now. Take Care, NB
__________________ "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" |
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to NewBeginning010 For This Useful Post: | Dee74 (07-10-2009), Stilljustagirl (07-10-2009) |
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07-10-2009, 08:11 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 1,318
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Welcome! As Dee says, many people here are not judgmental and understand! You're among friends here! Please take some time and read the stickies. You'll find loads of information and help. I reread them from time to time and they still help me! Any possibility of getting a detox? There may be some low-cost or even some free detox in your town. I really recommend getting medical help for it. Love, Lenina |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Lenina For This Useful Post: | Dee74 (07-10-2009) |
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07-10-2009, 08:13 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,300
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There is an alcohol forum too, here is a great read to understand what your going through. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html (Excerpts from "Under The Influence") Alcoholism - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
__________________ "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" |
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07-10-2009, 08:15 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| grateful to be here  |
Still, I'm so glad you are here!! You are in the company of the some of the bestest people--just keep reading and posting and you will find that out. Please don't be sorry - we've all been there in some way or another. Get up and go on. Do what you have to do. I'm just starting too-I'm 44 and have been drinking since 2 days before my 16th birthday. More than half my life. It's so hard thinking about the wasted everything--but I'm trying not to worry about all that. I'm determined to make it through this whole weekend sober. Feel free to join me  No judgments here. And there is something that someone said in a post I read, that I love: "We don't shoot our wounded" I think that's awesome - I'm wounded right now, but hobbling around SR hanging out amongst some wonderful people who've made me feel welcome-- I want to pay that forward to you.... please, do come on in!**Things I'm Doing Right Now: drinking juice, water, lots of liquids (not alcohol!!!) coming and posting to SR every single day (I usually start my day here) posting on one of the gratitude lists here (it's good to think about what you are grateful for) letting myself rest/sleep when I need to - taking care of myself as best as I can. I hope to get some energy back and start exercising here soon. Thinking about positive things/Reading positive stuff. Look thru old posts as well as the new ones.... there are tons of tips from the people here who have way back sobriety dates who have been there and know what works. Take what helps you and let the rest go by...... take care!
__________________ “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway |
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07-10-2009, 08:16 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Virginia
Posts: 662
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We've all been there to a certain extent. You made the right decision in seeking help, as going it alone in trying to get sober usually doesn't work. Go to an AA meeting. Let them know that you're a newcomer and need help. They'll take it from there. If for some reason you don't like the meeting or the people, then try another meeting. At see if there's a meeting schedule available. That'll give you an idea of the meetings in your area. And good luck. What you're about to go through won't be easy. But AA has saved countless lives, mine included. And I also recommend that you get with your family doctor let him know what's going on. Detoxing from alcohol can be dangerous and is best done under medical supervision. And don't worry about being judged. We've all been through this. You have a disease called alcoholism. It's not your fault that you're an alcoholic. You didn't ask to be one. You're responsible for your actions when drinking, but not for the disease itself. We don't judge one another, we try and help.
__________________ "I get by with a little help from my friends" The Beatles And some days it's just not worth chewing through the leather restraints... All Big Book quotes are from the first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous |
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07-10-2009, 08:24 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: england
Posts: 1,248
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be a real good idea to see the doc if your gonna stop abruptly... detox can have serious medical complications.... long story short.......i was a street vagrant drinking 24/7 living hand to mouth. i went to AA with an honest desire.(eventually)....to stop drinking. i got a sponsor....got a big book.....and worked through the steps with that sponsor. i never picked up another drink....and have remained sober and happy without booze. at times it was bloody uncomfortable...but i couldnt go back..i was finshed in every respect. lifes good today........i dont think of drinking......the obssession has gone. freedom and peace has entered my life.......i truly am free. go to that meeting....get a sponsor.....and ask him/her to work through the big book with you.... it worked for this hopeless drunk. |
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07-10-2009, 08:24 PM
| #11 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 10
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Thank you so much!!! I am sitting here typing crying my eyes out!!! I have nobody to talk to anymore! No friends!!! I pushed everyone out of my life!!! It hurts so much!!! I am ready....one whole day without a drink and I am craving one so bad...I refuse to though!!!! I want to live again!!! Everyones kind words means so much to me!!! I said to my dad I am 46 and maybe I should just give up...he says I am 56 should I????? If I tell them I am a drunk they would be so hurt!! My mother says just stop it......she doesn't understand! Thank you all and looking forward to making new friends! I need anyone who is willing!!!
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Stilljustagirl For This Useful Post: |
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07-10-2009, 08:41 PM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 254
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Dear Stilljustagrrrrl, ((((((((((My biggest largest HUGS)))))))))) I am SO SO SO GLAD that you came over hear and posted sweetie. I was sad when you left the meeting and worried for you knowing you are so new to SR. WELCOME to this big family of caring and NON-judgmental wonderful people and friends!! THis is very hard for you that is obvious...please don't give up as it WILL get better. Please heed the good advice of others here and see your doctor and if that's too embarassing just see "A doctor" so he can help you detox safely. That is critically important when you've been a heavy drinker for along time. I am thrilled that you sought the help of AA. Yes...it is scary to go on your first time - I know I did it...and NOW...it was the best best thing I've ever done for me in my entire life. They should give you a meeting list with some ladies phone numbers to reach out to for when or if you think you "must have a drink" to call first. Just like others have already said get a Big Book (it's the Alcoholics Anonymous Bible so to speak) and start reading. You will think you're reading about "Yourself" in a short time. And for sure, stick with us like glue as much as you can in between and keep posting and let yourself be loved by all these lovely people who understand and really do CARE! Come back to the chat room when you feel ready and you can just stay and listen and not speak until your ready but it can be a help when your really feeling down sometimes it is very serious in there and sometimes its a laugh when you need one. At least if you are 'alone' it is like being in company and you will be welcomed. If you get desperate tonite call back to AA or call a family member or friend if you feel you can. Reach out please! You will LIVE to know you made the right choice! Love and big big hugs...take care of yourself! Pancake XO
__________________ Sober since January 1, 2009  NON-Smoker since September 16, 2009 |
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| The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Pancake For This Useful Post: | bohemianzen (07-11-2009), vegibean (07-11-2009) |
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07-10-2009, 08:47 PM
| #14 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 10
| Thank you!
Thank you soooo much!!! I have been reading and reading....I don't think anyone is as bad as me though!!! I am really a mess!!! I called AA again and he was not really helpful! I mean I just was a mess last night...I am so glad I found this site!!! I just know it will help! I am sorry for being such a pain to everyone! Just needed someone to be there and then remembered this .......thank you again!!!!
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| The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Stilljustagirl For This Useful Post: |
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07-10-2009, 08:53 PM
| #15 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 111
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STG, noone here will judge you, and noone at AA will judge you. it's a struggle, but i know it is possible. look at the caring responses you receive from people who share similarities with you and have made it miles and miles down that road you are hoping to get on. please, make sure you go to AA tomorrow and post here as often as you can. the people here get it, and most importantly, they CARE about YOU until you are well enough to care for yourself. it really is a team effort, and i didn't believe it until i went to a meeting and began posting here. i promise you can get well. my best to you bh |
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07-10-2009, 09:31 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA
Posts: 21,630
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I certainly hope your de tox is going smoothly... AA? Yes... is the method I use to stay sober and enjoy my new life. Welcome to SR.... 
__________________  Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery! :  |
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07-10-2009, 09:55 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| Disposable Hero  |
Hello and welcome to the SR community. i hope you don't give up an yourself & that you continue to seek the help you need.
__________________ Any clean addict is a miracle and keeping the miracle alive is an ongoing process of awareness, surrender, and growth |
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07-11-2009, 04:21 AM
| #23 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: N. Palm Beach, Floriduh
Posts: 1,444
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Hi Still. I really feel for ya, I have totally been there. Believe me, you're not alone. Where do you live? Have you made any phone calls? Other than calling AA?? There are tons of numbers in the phone book. There is also 211, you just dial that from your phone. They are a great resource and can give you tons of numbers to call. I'm on a "211" kick here as I just called them this week for myself and I want to share this with you. When I was in the same spot you are right now, I laid in my bed drunk called that number first, they gave me a ton of numbers to call and I figured out what and how I was going to do what I needed to do for myself. I spent a month and a half in detox/homeless program, it didn't cost me a dime. Then for 10 months I was in a treatment center for women who took you from the beginning to end of learning the program, counseling, a bed, food, etc., and when you were ready, helped you find a job and got me out the door. I paid them what I could while I was there and again, I do not owe them any money either. My balance is paid with them. I didn't have a job while I was there so do the math on how much money I was actually able to give them. I gave them what I could. There are programs out there that will help someone in your position. You have TONS of work in front of you. You're going to have to be willing to do the work if you REALLY want this. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!! I know you can because I did and so many people before us have done it too. I was in a horrible marriage for 8 years and my drinking and a divorce from hell is what got me out of it. I'm still dealing with TONS of major crap from that X @sshole husband of mine but I'm sober, I'm not married to him any more, I have a WONDERFUL job!!! I have my own apartment, I don't live in a sober house and I'm doing this by myself, all on my own and it's GREAT!!!!!!!! I want to see you do this. PM me if you have any questions that you don't want to post in this thread. I'll be more than happy to help. Good luck! |
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07-11-2009, 04:36 AM
| #24 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: N. Palm Beach, Floriduh
Posts: 1,444
| Quote:
Remember to tell yourself right now "just for today, I just have to get through today and then I can deal with tomorrow", and you can change that up with seconds, minutes and hours.  | |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to vegibean For This Useful Post: | bohemianzen (07-11-2009) |
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07-11-2009, 07:28 AM
| #25 (permalink) |
| grateful to be here |
Still I do hope to see you sometime today saying "2days!!" Way to go. The first thing that you did for yourself is to come here and ask for help. Sometimes that is the hardest or most humbling part. I know it was for me - I've cried through writing a lot of my posts and cried at reading the outreaching of the human spirit here. It's sure proof that there really is good in the world (I sometimes wonder haha--and that was an excuse that kept me drinking) But I think crying was a detoxing of my spirit and how ugly and dark my insides are after so many years of drinking. I'm looking for some cleansing inside and out I think I'm finding it here. And I hope I continue to cry and not keep it inside.I wanted to say something about AA to you-- I am not into AA at all. It didn't help me and I went to several meetings and liked them, participated in them. I do still have my Big Book and will always keep it. The people in AA were good to me and sincere. I was lucky in that way. But AA made me want to drink in the worst way and I did. Maybe it is too structured for me, I don't know. But it's not worth my sobriety to force myself to do something that doesn't help me even if it works for someone else. One thing I will say positive though, I read and post in all the alcohol forums - I read the AA comments too. So many people here have been tremendously helped by the program. If the way of AA appeals to you, please keep searching for a home group that you fit into. I've read about people that had to search for a bit and found a good group and that has made all the difference in their sobriety. Do what you have to do. You don't owe anyone in an AA meeting to continue to come to a group where you feel an outsider. And while you are searching, you can always come here for AA support. There are lots of people who know a lot about it here. And are most willing to share with you. You are in my thoughts today even while I'm selfishly thinking of myself and my effort to get thru this weekend sober.
__________________ “The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” ~Ernest Hemingway |
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