Hi Everyone - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

crochetlady · 07-04-2009, 09:53 PM

hello everyone
its been awhile since ive been on the website here. but i need some help for my husband/ he just recently got off parole and was doing fine. still job hunting and of course jobs are nowhere to be found. did the prison thing and all that. it seems his depression has kicked in big time and bi-polar etc. im not sure what to do at this point. hes visitn his children and says he doesnt want to come back home anymore. i'm not even sure hes takeing his meds but i know hes stil drinking big time. its been 4 yrs of sobriery. he was so proud and so was I. we dont talk because it interrupts his tv programs. eats 1 meal a day if lucky. wants to spend money like thers no tomorrow but of xcourse there isnt that much spend. not sure what to do. Im tempted to call his counselor and tell him whats going onbefore something serious happens. please any advice would be very much appreciated. thank you.

smacked · 07-05-2009, 08:08 AM

I don't really know what kind of advice you're looking for.. So he was sober for 4 years, and now he's drinking again? Ok. Was he sober because he was working on recovery, or forced into it by the justice system? He is visiting his children.. does that mean he's staying with them? Are they adult children? You say he doesn't want to come home? You mean to your home? I'm confused hun.. can you give a bit more info?

If you post in the Friends and Family section (I'm assuming you're here because you feel he is an alcoholic or has a drinking problem??), you'll get some advice from other loved ones of alcoholics. One thing I do know about this, he will make his own decisions (and has every right to). Nothing you do can help him or fix him. If he doesn't want to be in the home, doesn't want to talk.. what are you waiting for that could magically happen to make things ok? Take care of yourself, you can't control any of his actions or his feelings... what is YOUR next life plan?

Horselover · 07-05-2009, 08:15 AM

Welcome back to SR. As far as your husband's addiction goes, I wish we did have control over it, but we don't. Take care of yourself and maybe look to the Family and Friends Forum here also Alanon too. He will have to find the road to recovery by himself. Don't neglect your needs.

07-04-2009, 09:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
crochetlady Member Join Date: May 2003 Location: Canandaigua NY Posts: 8	Hi Everyone hello everyone its been awhile since ive been on the website here. but i need some help for my husband/ he just recently got off parole and was doing fine. still job hunting and of course jobs are nowhere to be found. did the prison thing and all that. it seems his depression has kicked in big time and bi-polar etc. im not sure what to do at this point. hes visitn his children and says he doesnt want to come back home anymore. i'm not even sure hes takeing his meds but i know hes stil drinking big time. its been 4 yrs of sobriery. he was so proud and so was I. we dont talk because it interrupts his tv programs. eats 1 meal a day if lucky. wants to spend money like thers no tomorrow but of xcourse there isnt that much spend. not sure what to do. Im tempted to call his counselor and tell him whats going onbefore something serious happens. please any advice would be very much appreciated. thank you.

07-05-2009, 08:15 AM	#3 (permalink)
Horselover Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: NY Posts: 6,607 Blog Entries: 3	Welcome back to SR. As far as your husband's addiction goes, I wish we did have control over it, but we don't. Take care of yourself and maybe look to the Family and Friends Forum here also Alanon too. He will have to find the road to recovery by himself. Don't neglect your needs. __________________ "For who among us shall cast the first stone?"

07-05-2009, 08:08 AM	#2 (permalink)
smacked Heathen Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: La La Land, USA Posts: 2,545 Blog Entries: 1	I don't really know what kind of advice you're looking for.. So he was sober for 4 years, and now he's drinking again? Ok. Was he sober because he was working on recovery, or forced into it by the justice system? He is visiting his children.. does that mean he's staying with them? Are they adult children? You say he doesn't want to come home? You mean to your home? I'm confused hun.. can you give a bit more info? If you post in the Friends and Family section (I'm assuming you're here because you feel he is an alcoholic or has a drinking problem??), you'll get some advice from other loved ones of alcoholics. One thing I do know about this, he will make his own decisions (and has every right to). Nothing you do can help him or fix him. If he doesn't want to be in the home, doesn't want to talk.. what are you waiting for that could magically happen to make things ok? Take care of yourself, you can't control any of his actions or his feelings... what is YOUR next life plan?

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