Part II -- to I'm so scared..............

[vegibean]

If you read the beginning of my post, my last one, I mentioned that a friends husband called to tell me she was missing, had gone back out.........this is where my head is. I know how bad she wanted to do the right thing. When is too much, too much??

What's going on is between my X husband and I, not a debtor. He knows I'll be homeless. Yes, it's over child support but me being homeless? That doesn't sound like a reasonable option............but so it goes.

Below is the reply to how my 4th of July is going??? News of my friend, knowing how much I know she wanted this, and now she's gone..........

Well the friend that I mentioned in the beginning of this post, the one who's husband called me? She's dead. That has me now wondering how long and how much one can take? I know how badly she wanted to do the right thing. I know because she told me. Her and her husband were fighting and she went out. So how much is enough? This is about my X. He knows I'll be homeless. Makes me wonder how far to my knees I have to go? Who hates anyone that badly? Do I have to be dead? Is that going to be enough?

I really don't like being dramatic, however I'm not going to sit here and keep saying I'm fine when my emotions, mental state and stress levels are all over the place right now.

[Dee74]

I'm so so sorry Caitlin.
My thoughts and prayers to you, and your friend's family.

I don't know why some periods are worse than others.
I do know you're doing all the right things, and I know, trust me - that counts for something in the end.

You will come out the other side.
It's OK not to be 'fine' but pls stay strong and committed - and keep leaning on us when any of that is hard to do.

hugs
D

[riaerif]

I responded on the other thread to you, but I wanted to tell you I hope you can find answers with the child support issue. It's supposed to be income based so maybe there's still something that can be done.

If not, keep fighting. The children should come first, but losing a parent to homelessness isn't worth any price. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

[CarolD]

Mega

It's so sad when another loses the battle.
Prayers for y'all as your deal with this tragedy.

[vegibean]

Originally Posted by Dee74

I'm so so sorry Caitlin.
My thoughts and prayers to you, and your friend's family.

I don't know why some periods are worse than others.
I do know you're doing all the right things, and I know, trust me - that counts for something in the end.

You will come out the other side.
It's OK not to be 'fine' but pls stay strong and committed - and keep leaning on us when any of that is hard to do.

hugs
D

Dee, I am hanging on so tight right now my knuckles are going to bleed.

No one more than myself wants to get through this crap I'm feeling. It's a bit overwhelming.............

[Dee74]

((((Caitlin))))

I dunno if there are any numbers you can call in real life?
but regardless - stay close to SR

D

[Aysha]

Wow..That is really sad. I am so sorry.
I really wish I had something great to say. But I dont.
All I can offer is an ear and support. And some serious good wishes.
If I was down there still I would do watever I could for you.
Please hang in there. Something has to give. I would seriously call social services or public assistance of some kind and see what they can do. If anything. If you havent already. I am sure you have exhausted every option you can think of. I am just throwing things out there. There has to be something that can be done. I would hate to think our system is so screwed up that it doesnt care if people are homeless or not.
I am thinking of you.

[Horselover]

Vegi - What is the maximum that they can garnish your wages for child support in Florida? I am curious and wondered if there might be another State that would be more lenient with that. I looked up various States and New Mexico allows 50 percent of the wages to be garnished and that's obscene!! There were other States that seemed to be more reasonable. I mean you have to have housing to work. Have you looked into a roommate situation or some sort of shared housing? Just trying to help.

[Horselover]

Here's the link to the site I found which gives info regarding to the amount allowed of garnishing wages per State. Oklahoma allows wages to be exempt up to 75 percent unless hardship can be proven. I would think the attorney could prove hardship in your case and I would think Florida might consider that. Its worth asking about any ways.

State wage garnishment and attachment rules

[vegibean]

Originally Posted by Horselover

Here's the link to the site I found which gives info regarding to the amount allowed of garnishing wages per State. Oklahoma allows wages to be exempt up to 75 percent unless hardship can be proven. I would think the attorney could prove hardship in your case and I would think Florida might consider that. Its worth asking about any ways.

State wage garnishment and attachment rules

Horse, THANK YOU!!!! I'm going to go check it out. I have been researching and reading this weekend and I am not sure about that. So thank you, again.

[Horselover]

Not a problem, but I do think you got bum representation in court. I do think and strongly believe (imo) that hardship is a consideration that most courts would factor in. That link might be out dated but its something to start with. Statutes change I think either every 12 months or 6 months. I wish I knew some lawyers that practiced in Florida. Maybe someone else will. I'm still saying my bedtime prayers and you are number one on my list. Hugs - Sarah

[vegibean]

Horselover---What gets me too is that my son is with me half of the month. What about what I spend for when he's with me? It's completely insane. I could possibly understand if I was in a WHOLE OTHER STATE but for God's sakes, I'm not even two miles away. I drive my son to and from school and again, have him for half of the month. It's mind blowing.

[Horselover]

Wow! I had no idea that you had your son for half of the month. That is outrageous then. Is this back child support then and even if it is it is still obscene since you care for him half of the month. I REALLY want you to get angry and get someone who knows the legal system.

Think of it this way. If you go to a doctor and you are uncomfortable with that doctor's diagnosis you get a second opinion. You, my dear, need a second opinion for sure!!

[vegibean]

Originally Posted by Horselover

Wow! I had no idea that you had your son for half of the month. That is outrageous then. Is this back child support then and even if it is it is still obscene since you care for him half of the month. I REALLY want you to get angry and get someone who knows the legal system.

Think of it this way. If you go to a doctor and you are uncomfortable with that doctor's diagnosis you get a second opinion. You, my dear, need a second opinion for sure!!

I am doing it!!! I already told the judge that too, heh. Totally not heard. Thanks for rooting for me.

This is totally off subject but I just noticed your sobriety date. Here's the "funny" kicker......when I was a kid, I had a horse named Scotch. As in (literally his full name) Scotch and soda with a little gigger of gin", the previous owners gave him that name. His birthday was May 13th.

Horselover........hee hee. I needed a giggle.

[Horselover]

You rock!! There are no coincidences, haven't you heard.

I know you are doing this, but I want to keep the fire ignited in you. Don't want that attorney to get away with it. See if you went to Legal Aid, there are certainly people there to do the right thing, but then . . . there are the others that are buying their time. I want you to find the one that's there because he/she wants to do the right thing.

Take care of yourself and I'm glad you laughed. That's really good. Even a moment out of this is good. See ya in the morning.

[vegibean]

My attorney is from Legal Aid. Lord knows I can't afford one, LMFAO!!!!!

I don't think she (the attorney) believes that this isn't JUST about doing the right thing as much as it is the man and his mother hate me. This is not made up in my head, I'm not being paranoid. I was married to one of them and had the other one was constantly meddling in our marriage.

I believe that a lot of the X's actions are influenced by his mother. The "strings" were never cut, they live two houses down from each other.........need I say more?

[gerryP]

vegibean, you sound like your getting it in spades!

Sorry you are going through all this, but it won't go on forever, tho it may feel like forever now.

I'm in Canada, so I don't know how it works in your State, but up here if there is a shared custody arrangement, each parent pays the expenses for the 2 weeks of the month that the child is with that parent.

How is the calculation made? That sounds like a lot of money per month when you share custody, you understand what I mean? Without getting personal, why are you expected to, for all inrents and purposes pay your husband child custody. His assests would be taken into consideration 9house) wouldn't they?

Anyway, all I'm saying is that I would check all this out again. It doesn't add up. No wonder your doing 90. How the heck are you supposed to share custody if your in a box under a bridge? That's what I would have asked the judge.

Thinking of you.

[Horselover]

Hope you are doing a bit better today Vegi. Still thinking and praying for you.

[stone]

((((Veg))))

Sorry you are going through all this hun,

[vegibean]

I really am just tired. I have to go to work tomorrow and after that I just want to go to a friends house and just crash. I've had my son with me this week and have had to put the "I'm ok" face on and I haven't had a real chance to just break down. I'm tired.

[Lenina]

((((vegibean))))

How are you doing today, honey? I'm thinking about and have been all weekend! Know how your muscles ache after a newer, harder work-out? And know your Sobriety Muscle is being exercised and getting stronger!

Love,

Lenina

[vegibean]

OMG!!! I was just going to post about going up and down, up and down. I'm still a total basket case. Maybe a new thread?? I'm telling you what Lenina, this crap is wearing me out big time!!

[Lenina]

(((((beans)))))

I understand, I can't rest with unresolved issues hanging over my head either!

Did you talk to or set up an appointment with Legal Aid? What are the possibilities of appeals in your case? You know you have plan and a good one, I think! Do what you can to get your pay stubs and receipts ready.

For me, once I have a plan and get it rolling, I feel better.

I hope you're taking care of yourself and it's good to see you on line!

Love,

Lenina

[coffeenut]

Take good care of yourself, VB.

[vegibean]

Originally Posted by Lenina

(((((beans)))))

I understand, I can't rest with unresolved issues hanging over my head either!

Did you talk to or set up an appointment with Legal Aid? What are the possibilities of appeals in your case? You know you have plan and a good one, I think! Do what you can to get your pay stubs and receipts ready.

For me, once I have a plan and get it rolling, I feel better.

I hope you're taking care of yourself and it's good to see you on line!

Love,

Lenina

About half of the stuff you've suggested, I have done. The Legal Aid? I'm calling them tomorrow. I just don't get how this is ok with anyone. Certainly not with me and why the heck do I have an attorney? People get attorneys to SAVE THEM!!!!!!!! Not this, just wrong!!

It's nice to see that at least today there was some anger on my part. The last three days have just been depression, stress and tons of anxiety to go with it. The "what ifs", holy insanity!!!!!

I need to get angry. So good for me.