Discouraged

[monkey1]

I'm having sort of a rough time these past few weeks. My pain is not being managed welll and I am getting discouraged, which starts me thinking 'screw it' at least if I was drinking I could escape this for a while. I know that is ridiculous because drinking is what caused it.

I am trying to find a solution. I have an opportunity to engage an experimental treatment targeting specific areas of the brain. I will also have a new pain management doctor starting next week. I didn't feel that my current pain doc was listening to me at all and he was quite abrasive. My PCP office referred me to the new clinic and made the arrangements for me to see them. I'm scared that they will be the same way because of my alcoholism.

I'm going to my sister-in-laws today for a bbq. I expect that several active family members will attend and I'm stressing about the temptation. I'm tempted enough on my own, right now. I haven't been in a typical 'party' situation since I stopped drinking, not even out with colleagues after work. I can leave if it gets too intense but I'm just scared of the possibility combined with the discouragement I'm feeling.

Thanks for listening - Shea

[NewBeginning010]

Sorry that you are going through these hard times. Does your sister know that you are a recovering alcoholic? If not the BBQ may not be the best for you based on what you have written.

Maybe you can drop in & stay a while & make your way back home before things start to get out of hand (people getting drunk). Can you show up an hour or two early & help her to prepare & spend some quality time together (maybe let her in in your decision to quit) then when you are an hour into the BBQ roll out on your merry way.

Maybe take a day to yourself & let her know why (or come up with one of a million other excuses). I dont condone lying but when your sobriety is on the line let the white lies fly!

Take care & please dont pick up that first drink... you know where it goes from there.

NB

[monkey1]

Thanks NB. Yeah, my wife is going to call her to see if she'd like some help prepping, so we can go and visit before the festivities begin (and people get drunk/high).

We're really not close enough, yet, that I would feel comfortable telling her (and in effect the rest of the in-laws) that I'm an x-drunk. So far she understands that I don't drink because of my medication.

I will try to keep my head on straight.

[Dee74]

If you're worried about the BBQ don't go Shea...your sobriety has to be paramount to everything else...being sober is the only way we move forward.

As regards the pain management thoughts....I have chronic pain too - I found alcohol was fairly ineffective as a pain management tool. I suspect you have too.

I wish you well with your new pain dr. If this one is similar to the last, try again...it's vital that recovering alcoholics have a pain management doctor who understands their needs and their situation. Sometimes to find that dr. takes some searching, but don't give up

D

[monkey1]

Hi D- Thanks. I committed to going to support my wife as she tried to rebuild the relationship with her family. I do want to maintain my sobriety, but I also want to be there for my wife.

Yes, alcohol was a good pain management tool - even as it was causing the problem it was relieving the symptoms ('til it wore off anyway). Well, my toolbox now is narcotics and nerve blockers - not enough to be effective... but thats where the problem comes in with being an alcoholic - they are afraid of setting up another addiction, which I completely understand, but at the same time I am in pain and they haven't found another effective tool. We'll see what the new pain doc says and the brain guys too... as my nurse practitioner says 'we're desperate - try anything'

Thanks again - Shea