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07-02-2009, 11:40 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: mill valley ca
Posts: 3
|  trying so hard = 9 days almost slipped (agian!)
I've got 9 days sober, been trying on and off earnestly for the past 4 years to control my drinking (been drinking for 20+ almost daily). Denial has kept me from staying sober becuase I have a great career, beautiful family, awesome wife, yet I should have a million dui's, be dead (a couple times over form various idiotic drunk incidents), in jail (lack of judgement with drugs & alchol...), yet yet yet I'm a high bottom drunk?!?!?. I almost skipped out of work today and took the ferry home so I could drink (they don't serve beer on the bus (lol)). I got half way to the ferry and and turned around (ate luch and felt better) becuase I listened to my cognitive brain that it would only be a mess later when my wife got home and she could tell I had drank (she get undertsandbly upset becuase I watch my 3 and 1/1/2 year old in the late afternoons after work.) The other day a fellow told me that his sponsor said that little voice telling you to do the right thing is your higher power, I'm starting to listen to it. I've gone to a meeting everyday the past 9 days and it's the only way I can keep it fresh enough in my memory that I can't drink otherwise I feel like a loser. Vicous cycle get drunk feel bad, sober for two days, get drunk, feel bad get sober for two days, .....story of my life. |
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| The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to keitheo For This Useful Post: | Amazonqueen522 (07-03-2009), Horselover (07-03-2009), kj3880 (07-03-2009), monkey1 (07-03-2009), yankees24 (07-03-2009) |
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07-02-2009, 11:57 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,300
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Welcome & thanks for sharing keitheo :-) I have just started to talk & listen to my HP again (today). I was somewhat inspired by the TV series "The Cleaner" that I have been watching recently. He is basically an X user that asked for his HP's help when he was on the ropes & made a deal to help other people/addicts/drunks if he survived.. great show! I actually went to the beach today after exercising & found a quiet spot by the water & talked with my HP... it was great. The waves talked back a bit & I was mindful of not talking too loud or moving my lips lol whispers mostly. My HP was the the glowing sunset & I was asking for help & guidance in all of the tough situaltions that I am currently going through. Felt great! If I ever head someone talking aloud with nobody around I would have thought they were crazy.... now I am the crazy straight guy on the beach lol. Here is a great site to watch the series (and movies etc. but dont tell anyone K?) You need to click on the beta link to see the videos & skip some ads that come up (click skip on the top right hand corner) Make sure you click on "Click here to launch the NinjaVideo Helper Beta 0.3.9" in red. Dam... that was a long post, thanks for helping me to write about my first time talking to my HP since I was a little kid :ghug
__________________ "Today is the first day of the rest of your life" Last edited by 51anna; 07-03-2009 at 05:31 AM. |
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to NewBeginning010 For This Useful Post: |
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07-03-2009, 12:17 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: maintenance
Posts: 14,336
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Welcome to SR KeithEO - I think you're on the right roiad - keep hitting the meetings, call those numbers if you need them, and keep shutting out those thoughts  Its not easy but it gets better... Keep reading and posting too! D
__________________ May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post: | Horselover (07-03-2009) |
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07-03-2009, 01:02 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA
Posts: 21,649
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Congratulations on chooseing sobriety.....  Blessings to you and your family Welcome to our recovery community. 
__________________  Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery! :  |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to CarolD For This Useful Post: | Horselover (07-03-2009) |
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07-03-2009, 05:09 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Member  |
Hi Keith. I think you will do it this time. Dont worry about the bills. They will never get paid when u are drinking, they will when u are sober.
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| The Following User Says Thank You to eddie73 For This Useful Post: | Horselover (07-03-2009) |
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07-03-2009, 11:26 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| God is leading the way!!!  Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 247
|  Welcome Keith that was my life to!
__________________ You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face, And show the world all the love in your heart, Then people gonna treat you better. You're gonna find, yes, you will, That you're beautiful, as you feel. --Carole King Sober since Jan. 7, 2009 |
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07-03-2009, 11:56 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: long island, new york
Posts: 60
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"Vicous cycle get drunk feel bad, sober for two days, get drunk, feel bad get sober for two days, .....story of my life." Dead on, I can relate.
__________________ "Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. To hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength." |
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