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Old 07-01-2009, 08:00 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I'm finally here

Hi there,
I finally can say that I have a problem. I've been on this ride way to long...and I want off. I'm 37 and pretending that my life is fine, its not. My preference is wine...red. But I find that I can't just stop at a glass, once the bottle is gone, I want more. And I don't sip, I guzzle. I've been trying to quit for a year now with no success, I keep making excuses that its ok, but its not.
I know my life could be so much more, but I choose to drink instead of doing the things I really want to do. I pray finding this place will help me stop. I want to stop....I want to stop...I want to be happy. .

I don't drink everyday...but I drink to much to know that its a problem
1 day sober
Liz
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Old 07-01-2009, 08:09 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi liz

welcome to SR.
Theres a lot of support help and guidance here - hope you find something useful

D
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Old 07-01-2009, 08:23 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome liz
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Old 07-01-2009, 08:25 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Liz,
When I read your post I felt like I could be reading my own story (except that I'm 44 years old and prefer: red AND white wine -- I use to alternate... how sad is that!) I feel like this website is helping me a lot. Stay on here and read all you can at first. I guarantee it will help.
Take care,
Laura
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Old 07-01-2009, 08:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Welcome! Stick close to SR. Good stuff, here.
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Old 07-01-2009, 08:49 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi Liz, you are on the right track. Its good to hear such honesty from someone one day sober. I never knew happiness and peace until I decided to get sober and stay active in recovery. Keep it up!
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Old 07-01-2009, 08:50 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome Liz!
Yup, your story rang true for me as well. Loved my red wine.
Today I have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and I am free.
Sobriety has been such a gift to me.
Are you planning to work any sort of recovery program? AA is a huge part of my recovery. Worth checking out if you are not adverse to it for some reason.
Congrats on Day 1!
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Old 07-01-2009, 09:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Thank you for all your warm welcomes.
(I looked up in the yellow pages of an addiction referral helpline...which I plan to call tomorrow for some guidance. )
I just got off the phone with my sister, who I honestly for the first time said that I need help and I can't do this alone. She asked me if I would go to AA. I hesitated before answering her. I know I need to go, but why am I so scared?
Liz
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Old 07-01-2009, 09:18 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I was scared when I first started going. Then again, I was scared of everything before I got sober. If you live in a larger city they will send an AA member to visit you and take you to a meeting so it isn't so scary going yourself the first time. Hang in there and the right things will happen if you do your part.
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Old 07-01-2009, 09:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Try not drinking the first glass and seek help (AA, family, friends, professionals,etc) in staying not drinking the first glass.

Sir, I have no objection to a man's drinking wine, if he can do it in moderation. I found myself apt to go to excess in it, and therefore, after having been for some time without it, on account of illness, I thought it better not to return to it. Every man is to judge for himself, according to the effects which he experiences.
-Samuel Johnson, J. Boswell "The Life of Samuel Johnson", 1784
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Old 07-01-2009, 09:43 PM   #11 (permalink)
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(I looked up in the yellow pages of an addiction referral helpline...which I plan to call tomorrow for some guidance. )
That's so good. AA has been great for me, it might work for you too. The first meeting is always scary. Remember that they've all been right where you are.

Generally the people in those rooms have good hearts and are very willing to help.

Good for you for making such an important decision for yourself.
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Old 07-01-2009, 10:34 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Hey, happy! Congratulations on taking the first step. It's a long, hard, wonderful journey. I loved what you said... what was it (scrolls back up...)

Quote:
I know my life could be so much more, but I choose to drink instead of doing the things I really want to do.
That's been one of the most wonderful surprises for me -- how much more cool stuff there is to do now that I'm not at the bar drinking.
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Old 07-01-2009, 10:46 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Welcome liz! Your story is similar to mine but I liked white wine. Inpatient rehab was best for me. Read all through this site, there's lots of information, support and very nice people. Please let us know how your phone call tomorrow goes. And congrats on telling your sister.

Love,

Lenina
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Old 07-01-2009, 11:47 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Glad you found this site Liz. Stick around. I've found so much strength and hope here, I bet you will too!
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Old 07-02-2009, 01:52 AM   #15 (permalink)
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Welcome to the SR community.
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Old 07-02-2009, 03:12 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Welcome.
SR is the place to be. It sure is helping me, been sober now for a little over 5 years. I used AA at first, then just sure willpower, after taking a long, hard look at my life and after hitting my bottom. I reflex now on that and it could of even been a worst bottom if I allowed it. I got to where you are now and just had had enough. I told myself, "NO MORE!"
I never did care much for wine or liquior, I loved my beer and sure do miss it in this Arizona heat. I just can not go back there, I can not and will not do it.
Do whatever you have to do to stay sober, go to a meeting? I have met some really great people there and we all are there for the same reason, to become and stay sober. It was so hard for me to walk threw that door, but I was welcomed with open arms and have made many, many new friends.
Keep us posted on how you are doing.
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Old 07-02-2009, 03:29 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by happy2balive View Post
Hi there,
I finally can say that I have a problem. I've been on this ride way to long...and I want off. I'm 37 and pretending that my life is fine, its not. My preference is wine...red. But I find that I can't just stop at a glass, once the bottle is gone, I want more. And I don't sip, I guzzle. I've been trying to quit for a year now with no success, I keep making excuses that its ok, but its not.
I know my life could be so much more, but I choose to drink instead of doing the things I really want to do. I pray finding this place will help me stop. I want to stop....I want to stop...I want to be happy. .

I don't drink everyday...but I drink to much to know that its a problem
1 day sober
Liz
EXACTAMUNDO

i did not to drink every day but if i had one drink i had to drink till i was slaughtered in the end my liver gave out ,its great the first week sober thwn tough for two weeks then you feel great or at least i do ,stick with it what have you got to lose .. liver damage ,head aches every morning ,feeling like your at deaths door every day ,some low life drinking buddys that really dont care about you unless your in the pub with them drinking yourself to death buying them drinks ... not exactly the hardest choice you will ever have to make is it
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Old 07-02-2009, 03:29 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Good to know you are plnning for a better future.
Welcome to our recovery community...
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Old 07-02-2009, 03:46 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Hi Liz. I just read a lot of me in your story too. I was a red wine drinker too. Decided it did not agree with me and changed to white wine but instead of buying a bottle of white I often bought the large carton with the tap...........it was going to last me the week you know!! I found myself wringing out the silver bladder inside the carton at the end of the night. So on it went.....with me then saying red and white did not agree with me, I will just have a few brandies!! Never considered the problem was me... Ended up with me drinking red or white wine then a brandy and port next day for a cure!! I used to think that was normal. In the end I would have drank anything if I could not get my favorite.....red wine.
Congrats on day one. I needed the support of AA to stay sober. I tried all other methods only drinking at home etc, including the switching drinks I mentioned.
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Old 07-02-2009, 03:48 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I know I need to go, but why am I so scared?
Welcome to SR Liz.... why are you scared? Mainly it is the fear of the unknown! Were you not scared of your first day in school? Your first day in High School? First day on a new job?

Trust me when you walk through that door, every single person still remembers thier first meeting and just how scared they were, I do!!!!

Go to a meeting, get there 15 minutes early and just walk up to any lady and introduce your self. If you are really nervous call your local AA hotliine, they can arrange for you to meet and talk to a lady or 2 who will be more then happy to take you to your first meeting.

What do you have to lose? A few hours of drinking time?

What do you have to gain? A solution to your drinking problem, new sober freinds, a new way of living life on lifes terms one day at a time sober and happy!
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Old 07-02-2009, 06:07 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Welcome Liz. Taz is so right! I remember how he supported me when I went to my first AA meeting, scared and shaking over a year and a half ago....follow his suggestions....worked for me and countless others! (thanks again Taz! You know I never forget how you helped me change my life!!!!!)

Glad you are here with us Liz! You are making great progress already!!!!

Jomey
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Old 07-02-2009, 07:18 AM   #22 (permalink)
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You are quite welcome Jomey, but all I have done is passed on to you and others what was freely passed on to me. I need all of you far more then you need me.
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Old 07-02-2009, 07:39 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Liz, Taz is 100% correct, I struggled for years trying to do it on my own and never could. I was nervous attending aa for the first time, I knew I was (and always will be a alcoholic) but aa terrified me. I went to a meeting over 2 months ago and was made to feel welcome, I have not had a drink since, which is the longest sober period I have had in 26 years. I attend at least 3 meetings a week have made great friends and am now enjoying a new and exciting sober life.
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Old 07-02-2009, 07:46 AM   #24 (permalink)
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Welcome.. it is scary. Lots of people are helped with AA, some aren't. You'll never know til you try, and so far it sounds like your toolbox is empty! You'll love it here, stick around!
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Old 07-02-2009, 07:49 AM   #25 (permalink)
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Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all the welcomes and support.

Last night as I was reading a book to my daughter...the words "enough is enough" popped from the pages at me. This was not the first time I have seen these words this week. It was on a piece of advertisment while I was driving. It was on a piece of paper at a clients home. But to read that last night hit me so hard...seems as if my angels are trying to get my attention.

I do believe that this would have gotten alot worse for me if I continued on this path of distruction. The last bottle I picked up...the teller was talking to me about wanting to get into the company I worked for when he started to ring in the next customer. It was a young man with 2 cases of red wine with the nozzle. It made my insides jump to see the cases...for a spit sec I thought...hmmm then I won't have to come back for another. But I knew I couldn't hide a case that size.

Yes, the unknown, I was afraid of the unknown. But since I posted, I have read all your posts, plus more...and I'm sooo ready to walk into it....I am ready!!!!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you...I'm so happy that I found SR...I finally feel the support I've been looking for.

Liz
2nd Day Sober

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