The blind leading the blind

[Katie09]

All I can say is here I sit trying to make the best choice for rehab, considering the thousands of dollars involved, with a guy who flew in from SoCal to help me. We've been drinking from Sat until trying to ponder our options. In the interim, I've consulted with my psychiatrist, my therapist, my two girlfriends, another guy friend (hard core AA which will never cut it for me, for any 12 step program is out and options are limited in this country). Oh - and even his normie wife and a smart woman in Orange County.

It's been so crazy that I put 3K down on a program to reverse the charge, only to reverse that! I should add I've negotiated things down fewer thousand and to 30 days (no one seems to think I need longer than that) and we may reach an agreement and I have another 45 minutes to do so. Meanwhile, there was a program in FL that sounded good too. Nonetheless, I know CA and have never been to FL. My hope is we both stop drinking enough to get me somewhere and fast. It's so hard when with an active drunk and desperate to accomplish much. Of course, it's so much easier to take the edge off. It doesn't help he worked as an alcohol counselor in the DOD for 15 years and spent 18 years sober in AA, only to realize he was done with that. At the risk of getting flamed here, he's already told me I know whatever anyone else is going to tell me. Even my therapist said I am too bright for a lot of things. So...the dilemma is I sit here typing, while he is sleeping, trying to figure out what the hell to do in a haze.

[51anna]

Hi Katie,

Focus on yourself and make a choice. I hope you find a place that suits you and you can begin your recovery.

[dedubya]

Hey- this forum has many people like you- me being one. I havent tried AA but am going to quite drinking- if for nothing else to show I have control of myself. I am mid 40s and have been pounding for 20+ yrs. its about time to do something else at least for me. i know i feel like **** all of the time.
best wishes-
dub

[Lenina]

Katie,

Please don't deny yourself an opportunity for recovery by placing too many requirements on the list. I went to a rehab that was Twelve Step based but that was in 1986. AA isn't a bad way to start getting sober. Once you've detoxed and can make better decisions, then look at other ways of staying sober.

These days, I use a lot of what I learned in AA along with Rational Recovery.

What's important is to stop the insanity before it kills you!

Love,

Lenina

[bugsworth]

Katie I am not an aaer so please do not misunderstand me...but I am curious what does aa have to do with your situation? No 12 steps for you...I get it...it seems to me you still want to drink. I know this is harsh but I usually call it like I see it. Your "friend" came to take you to rehab and instead you drank for 5 days straight...doesn't seem like much of a friend. I wish you the best....sincerely I do...I just hate to see people make excuses to continue to drink.

[least]

Your 'friend' came to help you and has been drinking with you for days?? I don't get it. What is he trying to do to you? Doesn't sound like help to me. I'm confused. Why did your friend come to you? If he knows your problem with alcohol... why is he drinking with you??

From your last posts I thought rehab was a given, only waiting on someone to take you there. Your situation seems to have changed. Are you still going to rehab? I am lost here...

[CAPTAINZING2000]

hmm

I pay a dollar a meeting. If, I stay sober 20 years, I might have $3000 grand invested

Ultimately, doesn't matter what type of treatment you decide, it's up to you to get sober. I can chew on my words carefully, try and coddle you or, tell you point blank what you need to hear.

Bottom line is, you don't know anything about staying sober only getting drunk.
the key is for you to be, honest, open and willing.

[aasharon90]

I think where ever you decide to
go for rehab.....whether near or
far....whether expensive or not....
If you are wanting to get clean
or sober for anything other than
urself, then it wont work.

Youve got to want to go to any
lengths to stay clean or sober.

The willingness to change old
habits, behaviors one step
at a time.

Willing to listen and absorb
and recieve the tools and
knowledge of ur disease.

Im an Alcoholic and my name
is Sharon. By the grace of my
HP and people like u here in
SR I havent found it necessary
to pick up a drink of alcohol
since 8-11-90.

For that and you I am truely
grateful.

The progession of my disease
of alcoholism was extremely
rapid after i had an accident
in Feb 90. Without drinking for
several months later and healing
nicely, i thought i was safe to
drink once again.

Sad to say i took a drink and
wanted to end my miserable
life. My family quickly stepped
in to do for me what i couldnt
do for myself. They sent me to
rehab where i stayed for 28 days
picking up the tools and know-
ledge of my own disease
and thus followed the principles
of a 12 step program that has
kept me sober one day at a
time for 18 yrs.

Today I continue to share
what it was like when i was
drinking, what happened to me
while drinking and where I am
now.

Thats call my experiences,
strenghts and hopes.

And thats how it works for me.

thanks for letting me share.

[doorknob]

I agree with Zing, it's up to you to get sober. But, I believe that you know how, and just need to take the appropriate actions.

[Classical]

Katie, no offense, honestly, but I've been following your posts for weeks and I have one very simple question:

Why are you still drinking? I thought you wanted to stop. I'm very confused. Just don't drink, it's not complicated.

Classical

[doorknob]

Treatment Finder Page

[lovinmenow]

Katie will ya just go already? Stop making excuses and do it. You have nothing to lose. I thought you left the other day. Go and get it over with. Rehab is a priceless opportunity. Make it so!!

[nickishine]

Katie Bear....


I diddo what lovininmenow said! Get that bootie of your into rehab! Just DO IT! Life will change and get better the sooner you get it!

Hugs! :ghug

[sfgirl]

Yeah. I thought you had one all lined up where you could take your pets. You should be there by now it seems.

[nickishine]

I meant "the sooner you get IN"! Hate type-o's!

[gerryP]

Katie why on earth would you ask for help from, as you describe, an active drunk?? What did you think was going to happen?

You said that you have consulted with your Psychiatrist, your therapist, 2 girlfriends and a hard core AA guy friend (never mind that he's hard core) What did they advise??? You know what YOU NEED to do...Why are you waiying for you drunk friend to make YOUR mind up for you?...

Is your drunk friend going to take you to rehab before he goes back to SoCal. Never mind, don't answer that.

[mle-sober]

You asked this man to come and take you to a rehab. You had this rehab picked out. It allowed you to bring your pets and your computer.

I knew there was a bad stink to that story. It's called a lie - whether you're telling it to us or to yourself.

Only you can stop yourself. Not your therapist or the myriad other people (including us) that you've "consulted."

[LosingmyMisery]

I was willing to bet money that your "friend" coming down to help you into rehab would end up in a drunkathon. Not surprised one bit. Sounds like the two of you have sat down, drank, and pondered your choices down to....drinking and more drinking. Do you want to get sober or not? Tell your friend, thanks, but no thanks. You don't need his kind of help. Sorry for being so blunt, but enough already. If you keep narrowing down your options, there will not be a place on earth that you will find suitable. You really are eliminating every choice that has crossed your path, except for drinking. I think having an open mind would do wonders for you. I don't mean to sound nasty, but I have seen this many times before. If you want help, really want help, it is time to get serious and take serious action. I hope you do so soon.

[SteveK]

Rehab doesn't make you an alcoholic....just means your'e gonna spend $3K for a Big Book!

[OzSandy]

Are you really going to be all-or-nothing on this, Katie? Seemed to me you had far more to gain than to lose, in a safe and supported environment. I can't really add though to what's already been said, my sentiments also.

[serenityqueen]

Katie, I have to also be honest here, I've tried to give you the benefit of the doubt so many times since you began posting.

I know how desperate I was when I was finally willing to go to any length to get clean and sober. I didn't make up excuses as to why I couldn't get to the doctor and then turn around and call cabs to go get more alcohol. I wasn't consulting everyone under the sun as to what THEY think I should do.You've came on here, wondering if you could get in trouble for someone smoking crack in your house. If I remember correctly, you were having people over after Meetings and letting them get high in your home while you drank. You came on here crying about how the AA guy brought over wine and you got drunk. Then you're rejecting any treatment centers that follow the 12 Steps.

And now, you're negotiating the price? WTF? I have never, ever heard of any treatment center that will negotiate the price of helping someone save their life!!!! What's next, Katie, checking to see what kind of breakfast meats are served?

I for one am done. If someone truly wants to get help, go to any length in their fight for their life, I will do anything in my power to help them. I refuse to play into this drama any longer. I'm going to spend my time offering my ESH to someone else who seems to be willing. If you ever truly want help, let us know. There is no negotiating when this disease decides that you are going to be it's next fatality. If you ever truly want help, let me know.

May God Be With You,
Judy

[trucker]

I sure hope you find your solution to this katie...i for one find it very sad listening to you destroy yourself over time...

Theres some very dark places waiting for you if you dont get sober...imo

The chances are it will be one or all of these.......jails......institutions...and death........i aint gonna dress it up girl....

God be with you and protect you..............trucker

[ViciousCycle]

Originally Posted by serenityqueen

I for one am done. If someone truly wants to get help, go to any length in their fight for their life, I will do anything in my power to help them. I refuse to play into this drama any longer. I'm going to spend my time offering my ESH to someone else who seems to be willing. If you ever truly want help, let us know. There is no negotiating when this disease decides that you are going to be it's next fatality. If you ever truly want help, let me know.

May God Be With You,
Judy

You asked this man to come and take you to a rehab. You had this rehab picked out. It allowed you to bring your pets and your computer.

I knew there was a bad stink to that story. It's called a lie - whether you're telling it to us or to yourself.

Only you can stop yourself. Not your therapist or the myriad other people (including us) that you've "consulted."

Katie, the jig is up. I have deleted many of my replies to this continuing saga in fear of hurting your feelings. No more.... I am also done with it all. I am not even going to read these threads anymore. It is one big circle jerk. It is time for you to own-up and have some accountability for your actions.
I truly hope you find the help you need.

[nickishine]

Katie Bear.....

Diddo diddo diddo all the way! What's up, hon? Get real, get honest, and get goin'! LIFE awaits you, Chiquita!!!! NO MORE BS, K? Said w/ love, care and concern!!!! Go Katie, GO!!!!

[yeahgr8]

I've got a new rule for myself on SR, if i don't have anything postive to say i'm not going to post, so i will say i hope that you make a decision soon as your life sounds like a living hell. I have heard that even the most extreme of alcoholics recover, and you are already in that category, how much further to go is there? Your posts make me very grateful for my sobriety indeed.